Pure Stupidity

[Brenda Starrr]

. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer --

Do not use while sleeping.

(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron --

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid --

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor --

"Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts --

"Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw --

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[n0Mad]

Makes me laugh every time. Thanks Brenda, I feel much better now.

:laughing :laughing :laughing

[The_Dark]

Peanuts are not nuts.

[Brenda Starrr]

Anything for you, Spook.

Now, if someone could make ME feel better, that would be great.

[n0Mad]

Anything for you, Spook.

Now, if someone could make ME feel better, that would be great.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was in a grumpy mood one day driving out to my guitarists house for band practice. While sitting at a stoplight in Pontiac, I looked out the window and nailed to a lamp post was a sign that read, "Be Cheerful". Not "Be Happy" or anything like that, but "Be Cheerful". I said it out loud, "Be Cheerful" and an interesting thing happened. That phrase forces your mouth into a pseudo-smile (which, just the act of smiling tends to make one feel a bit better). So, I said it again. Before long I couldn't help but be cheerful. By the time I got to practice I was all smiles and in a great mood. Funny how that worked. Try it sometime.

Oh, and if you can do it in front of a mirror, then just seeing yourself smile reinforces the cheerfulness. And if that doesn't work, might I reccomend, "The Tao of Pooh".

EDIT: Directions ...

Step A) Smile

Step 2) Feel Cheery

Finally) Repeat

[DarkVampire]

Funny.

[Msterbeau]

Now, if someone could make ME feel better, that would be great.

Bend over.

[Brenda Starrr]

Bend over.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sir. Could I just this once not take it up the ass?

[Msterbeau]

Sir. Could I just this once not take it up the ass?

I was going to massage it. What were you thinking?? :blink

[Hellion]

:devil On a Pill bottle, line up the arrows and open ,or Push down and turn.(says it right on the cap so kids have the directions too,) and for some reason kids seem to be able to open these easier than adults.

[Brenda Starrr]

I was going to massage it.  What were you thinking??  :blink

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh. Well, that's a whole 'nother story. Okay.

[Homicidalheathen]

I know the disclaimers are rediculous but.....remember the lady who sued McD's for her cophee being to hot?

Who does not know it is that hot???

People will sue for anything these days so I think they have to post this on stuff so people won't have much of a case.

[Hellion]

How about stupid assuming drivers,They cut in front of you and the other car that was in front of you.

They use the left turn lane as a regular lane.

They zip in an out of lane not signaling.

They need to be killed,before they kill an innocent person.LOL