'your Friend's Hot. Is She Single?'

[JaneDead]

i had a friend who when she found out a guy was interested in ME she would tell them "you can't have her but you can have me" and would proceed to tell them why I would never go out with them.

i didn't know she was doing this at first and couldn't figure out why my guy friends/guys interested in me didn't like her. i started to ask them "why don't you like her? she's really very nice" then about four of them told me all around the same time what she was saying and they all said the same thing. that she said that and they thought she was tacky/slutty/pathetic/disgusting for doing something like that.

not saying this is the same as the topic/subject (sorry) but it brought this up for me.

[TygerLili]

I'd rather be told that I'm beautiful. Being told that I'm hot does nothing for me. I don't care who says it.

Me too, but I really don't like being called either by a stranger in a bar. I only appreciate genuine compliments with no ulterior motive.

[torn asunder]

Huh?

If someone's offended, it's their own fault?

Please explain. I think I'm missing something.

"If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you , but your own judgement of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgement now." - Marcus Aurelius

this, in a nutshell, explains my thoughts on this... yes, it's entirely *your* fault that you're offended, and as long as you (general you, not specific) place the blame on others, you relegate yourself to the role of "victim". people will do only what they know how to - they can do no less. it's your *judgement* of their actions/words that apply meaning to it/them, and that judgement is entirely within your control. if it's not, well then, i guess you (again, general, not specific) have something to work on within yourself...

my example - i'm out for drinks & someone calls me an asshole. i can 1) get pissed of, but keep quiet, 2) i can call them an asshole back, 3) i can punch them in the nose, 4) i can ignore them, 5) i can laugh at them, and their silly need to be antagonistic.

that's what i mean by "it's up to you". have you ever been offended by a child? most likely not, because children don't know any better, until they're older. well, adults are the same way... sure they *should* know better, but they don't. why allow another person to control you by making you angry? shrug it off, and tell yourself they just don't know any better, and then wish for them understanding, compassion, and learning.

[Steven]

This boils down to inner beauty. I was told that I have "true inner beauty." That means more to me that ANYTHING.

yeah, but that's easy to say cause your hot. (sorry.)

and dont hate me because I'm beautiful.....

[Brenda Starrr]

yeah, but that's easy to say cause your hot. (sorry.)

and dont hate me because I'm beautiful.....

Pfft. I never was the hot chick. Now that I think of it, I never was the beautiful girl, either!

[ZhukovCodeslinger]

I was going to post on this thread but lost interest while scrolling down to the bottom... I guess I dont care enough anyway.

[Steven]

Pfft. I never was the hot chick. Now that I think of it, I never was the beautiful girl, either!

stop it.

I love you.

[Brenda Starrr]

You're going to make everyone think we're dating!! But, I love you too.

[torn asunder]

[Brenda Starrr]

Ummm, yeah....

So, we ladies much prefer to be called beautiful.

[Steven]

that was pretty funny.

[sass_in_the_pants]

"If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you , but your own judgement of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgement now." - Marcus Aurelius

this, in a nutshell, explains my thoughts on this... yes, it's entirely *your* fault that you're offended, and as long as you (general you, not specific) place the blame on others, you relegate yourself to the role of "victim". people will do only what they know how to - they can do no less. it's your *judgement* of their actions/words that apply meaning to it/them, and that judgement is entirely within your control. if it's not, well then, i guess you (again, general, not specific) have something to work on within yourself...

my example - i'm out for drinks & someone calls me an asshole. i can 1) get pissed of, but keep quiet, 2) i can call them an asshole back, 3) i can punch them in the nose, 4) i can ignore them, 5) i can laugh at them, and their silly need to be antagonistic.

that's what i mean by "it's up to you". have you ever been offended by a child? most likely not, because children don't know any better, until they're older. well, adults are the same way... sure they *should* know better, but they don't. why allow another person to control you by making you angry? shrug it off, and tell yourself they just don't know any better, and then wish for them understanding, compassion, and learning.

So, let me get this straight - if I kick you in the shin and it hurts, it's YOUR fault?

SWEET!

*kicks TA in the shin and runs away*

I LOVE this! =)

[Scary Guy]

Hot women are never single and if they are it's either because they choose to be or are batshit insane.

[torn asunder]

So, let me get this straight - if I kick you in the shin and it hurts, it's YOUR fault?

SWEET!

*kicks TA in the shin and runs away*

I LOVE this! =)

that's not offensive, it's assault, and i still wouldn't be offended, but i *would* press charges!!

[Head Wreck]

how come the women always hit on torn and not me?

[torn asunder]

how come the women always hit on torn and not me?

it's my sexy midwestern accent!!

[Brenda Starrr]

how come the women always hit on torn and not me?

*coughcoughhistudcoughcough*

[Head Wreck]

bah, next time i shall unlease my true accent rather then the one you can all understand (except for tina, sorry about that)

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

TA... That is a cop out. Name calling is a Verbal assualt and you know it. We do, in fact, have laws that say you cant call people bad names. They call it harrasnment, hate speach and a few other things. In some cases, you calling someone a name is legal grounds to kick your ass. If you verbally push someone far enough.. they can infact beat you sensless and watch the ambulance take you away... and not get in trouble for it.

What your saying is kinda like.... "Well, he could have ducked out of the way rather than letting me hit him in the face.... it's his fault."

You can qoute all the philosophy you want... it's just as wrong.

and before you go off on my name calling... I know I'm the one inflicting mental anquish when I call someone a poor excuse for a human. I fully expect them to get insulted and hurt. It's the whole damn point of name calling. A verbal/mental weapon, but a weapon non the less.

[torn asunder]

TA... That is a cop out. Name calling is a Verbal assualt and you know it. We do, in fact, have laws that say you cant call people bad names. They call it harrasnment, hate speach and a few other things. In some cases, you calling someone a name is legal grounds to kick your ass. If you verbally push someone far enough.. they can infact beat you sensless and watch the ambulance take you away... and not get in trouble for it.

What your saying is kinda like.... "Well, he could have ducked out of the way rather than letting me hit him in the face.... it's his fault."

You can qoute all the philosophy you want... it's just as wrong.

and before you go off on my name calling... I know I'm the one inflicting mental anquish when I call someone a poor excuse for a human. I fully expect them to get insulted and hurt. It's the whole damn point of name calling. A verbal/mental weapon, but a weapon non the less.

i totally see your point, but the entire reason i think the way i do is for my own peace of mind.

"I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him. - Booker T. Washington"

when you allow another to create anger, resentment and hatred within you, you're giving that person control over you - they run your life at that point. i am my own man, and i will live and react in the best way *i* see fit, not in the way you intend. and if there was no bad intent? then it was simple ignorance, and why should i hold that against another? as for the name calling bit, i canz't argue because i don't know the laws, but that really doesn't sound right... you're saying that if someone speaks enough bad words to me, i have the right to beat the hell out of them? i highily doubt it, but i'm more than willing to be educated in this matter... i've never heard of anyone pressing charges for someone else calling them names, ever in my life. the second someone touches you, however, it becomes assault, a chargeable offense, one that i've seen several times.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Hot women are never single and if they are it's either because they choose to be or are batshit insane.

It's so crazy, my girlfriends say the EXACT same thing about men all the time. And they say men and women don't speak the same language. Pfft.

that's not offensive, it's assault, and i still wouldn't be offended, but i *would* press charges!!

Your lawsuit's offensive. But I will not allow your offensive lawsuit to offend me. Therefore, I win. =)

it's my sexy midwestern accent!!

Say pop. Just once, stud. Let me hear it. Say 'pop'.

I understand your theory, actually, we all do - sticks and stone may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Less eloquent than your emperor quote, sure, but it certainly makes up for it with a catchy rhyme. I get what you're saying, I do. And I get where it's coming from, too. Especially now, it seems like we live in a society of victims, and it seems so few people are wililng to suck it up and just stop bitching for a minute. So, yes, I understand your point. Still, I feel that people have a responsibility to treat eachother with common respect and courtesy, and sometimes I think that can't be accomplished without a little empathy.

[torn asunder]

Still, I feel that people have a responsibility to treat eachother with common respect and courtesy, and sometimes I think that can't be accomplished without a little empathy.

totally agree, but since we can't control other people & their actions/words, i prefer to follow ghandi's words -

"Be the change you want to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi"

and model the behavior that i think we all deserve. of course, i don't always succeed, but i do try...

[Head Wreck]

went out with a hot batshit-insane girl once. pure hell and damn inconsiderate to other peoples feelings

glad to be rid.

now a hot, sane girl, emotionaly mature and intelligent. thats the mission now

[BrassFusion]

I don't get the "hot" thing... at all... I mean, if you need someone to live up to a standard of aesthetic that has little or nothing to do with her personality, what makes you think she'd be interested in you, david?

unless of course she's batshit insane. =)

[Vampyro]

I don't get the "hot" thing... at all... I mean, if you need someone to live up to a standard of aesthetic that has little or nothing to do with her personality, what makes you think she'd be interested in you, david?

unless of course she's batshit insane. =)

See, sane good looking girls do exist, just like sane good looking guys, I take care of myself, and take pride in my looks, therefore I hold the same standard for any partner, as i don't want her eating me out of house and home or breaking the bed...god it wouldn't even go that far.... It wouldn't even take off after i say, "Fuck no." Also being able to take care of one's self is also a sign of mental health.... relatively most of the time. Some people need to stop trying to slam "shallow ways" and just get off the couch, put down the 6th meal of the day, and get on a treadmill if they want better looking people. Because alot of it shows they've got themselves together enough to take care of themselves at least, and show some self pride. Alot can't help it though, even though they eat right and stay active, they're just naturally big, but almost always you can tell, and even a big girl that takes care of herself and live a healthy lifestyle is sexy. It's those people that eat 6-10 meals a day and bitch about people being shallow cuz they can't get laid. It's pathetic. Even without makeup, proper grooming is a big deal too. For me it's all about if someone can show enough self esteem to do that for themselves.