What's Your Opinion On Ultimatums?

[AstralCrux]

She did the right damn thing. The ultimatum gave him time to think about what he wanted, but only if they had been together for at least 4 years or more. If you'd invested that much love, time and effort into a relationship, by that point, if the other person isn't ready to get engaged- not married- engaged with valid plans to marry it's time to go. (this very well should have some level of counseling)

I've watched a friend of mine go through years of a relationship that this person thought was going in a marriage direction do a complete 360 any time it was brought up. So this person waited a span of over a year while working things out and one year turned to two. They eventually broke things off, but they really should have done it long ago. Some people hold on to maybe- too long.

He should have been straight with her about not wanting to get married within the first few months. That way he can go off and find a nice girl who doesn't believe in marriage either. It isn't fair to string someone along you don't believe you'll want to be with 10 years down the road.

[BrassFusion]

It's possible he really didn't know what he wanted.

[Nienna]

It's possible he really didn't know what he wanted.

It's possible, but more and more people these days are feeling that marriage is a BAD idea. Frank;y, unless you have a religious connection to it, it's wiser not to marry for many reasons.

[Vampyro]

*comes in out of the darkness to say one thing before returning to ponder about posting more or not...*

That's about the stupidest fucking ultimatum I've ever heard in my life! If some chick EVER gave me that ultimatum, I'd walk out on her right then and there. It's being stupid, selfish, and immature. You can't force anything anyone's not ready to do. Maybe he will one day be that husband and father she wants, maybe not, it takes ALOT of time to figure out if someone's the right type for you to make such a commitment. Either he's not ready, or not quite sure, but either way, the ultimatum was the stupidest red flag to be trown out there.

On the flip side, If he's just the type of guy, who stays in a faithful relationship, however doesn't want to get legally married or have kids, he should stop whasting her time and let her find what she wants, yet again, I think she's being ignorant by trying to force him into something like this so quickly.

IMO, she's fucking lucky he hasn't walked away after she gave him that ultimatum.

[sass_in_the_pants]

*comes in out of the darkness to say one thing before returning to ponder about posting more or not...*

That's about the stupidest fucking ultimatum I've ever heard in my life! If some chick EVER gave me that ultimatum, I'd walk out on her right then and there. It's being stupid, selfish, and immature. You can't force anything anyone's not ready to do. Maybe he will one day be that husband and father she wants, maybe not, it takes ALOT of time to figure out if someone's the right type for you to make such a commitment. Either he's not ready, or not quite sure, but either way, the ultimatum was the stupidest red flag to be trown out there.

On the flip side, If he's just the type of guy, who stays in a faithful relationship, however doesn't want to get legally married or have kids, he should stop whasting her time and let her find what she wants, yet again, I think she's being ignorant by trying to force him into something like this so quickly.

IMO, she's fucking lucky he hasn't walked away after she gave him that ultimatum.

Dude, she dumped him. Everything's fine now.

[Guest Megalicious]

It's possible, but more and more people these days are feeling that marriage is a BAD idea. Frank;y, unless you have a religious connection to it, it's wiser not to marry for many reasons.

I couldn't agree more with this statement

[torn asunder]

I couldn't agree more with this statement

[pomba gira]

It's possible, but more and more people these days are feeling that marriage is a BAD idea. Frank;y, unless you have a religious connection to it, it's wiser not to marry for many reasons.

Maybe we need to re-think marriage to be more inline with modern life spans and life changes. For one thing maybe the "till death parts us" idea has become unrealistic. Wouldn't it work better to contract for a specified number of years? Then at contracts' end, if things are going well, you could renew for another specified period. If not, walk away with no legal entanglements. If I were running things, there would be incentives built in that would discourage couples from having children before completing one contractual period & renewing... maybe people wouldn't marry/breed for such dumbass reasons if a little reflection time was built into the process somehow.

[Steven]

Maybe we need to re-think marriage to be more inline with modern life spans and life changes. For one thing maybe the "till death parts us" idea has become unrealistic. Wouldn't it work better to contract for a specified number of years? Then at contracts' end, if things are going well, you could renew for another specified period. If not, walk away with no legal entanglements. If I were running things, there would be incentives built in that would discourage couples from having children before completing one contractual period & renewing... maybe people wouldn't marry/breed for such dumbass reasons if a little reflection time was built into the process somehow.

you know on the surface I can see the merit of this proposition....since we seem to have evolved into a society with much less depth of commitment and or willingess and or ability to do what must be done to nurture and strengthen a relationship long term.

to me this sort of sounds like New York City handing out clean needles since there are so many drug users anyway.......

but in my heart I say dont get married unless your really willing to go the long hall.

I'd never want a woman in my life who says shes there for me all the way for a period of 42 months at which time we'll reconvene to explore the depth of that commitment within the guidelines of the significant others act article 19B clause 14-9.

guess I'm a dinosaur.

I like knowing Laura will do anyting in her power to be there for me.

And I like being able to give everything I've got to the woman in my life, for the duration of my life.

I like the peace of mind that accompanies that sort of commitment.

and to be honest, I like the depth of Laura's trust that she has in me, I take that as sort of a gift, something that I would not take for granted.

but wait a minute......incentives......how many happy meal coupons do I get for each phase that I am able to conclude successfully?

[BrassFusion]

i'm sure one could draw up a prenuptial agreement to have a timeline like that...

[Steven]

i'm sure one could draw up a prenuptial agreement to have a timeline like that...

don't forget my happy meal coupons....good behaviour should never go unrewarded....

[DarkVampire]

Ultimatums? I would have told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

[JaneDead]

if we cant strip our relationships down to the nitty gritty then we'll have nothing to stand on when life forces us to peel the layers back.

if this girl gets married this way then she starts her life long quest rooted in fear, distrust, imbalance, and general fuck upedness.

i agree.

i can understand the i want to be married to you and if we don't get married i am moving on but not saying "marry me or else" it would be better to say "we don't want the same things so i think it is time to move on" if she can't wait any longer or thinks he might not ever "come around" to wanting marriage.

[Brenda Starrr]

Whatever happened to just being in love and happy? I know that I really thought that I wanted to get married both times, and I may very well have that feeling again. But just being in love should be enough, in all reality. But, I'm not against the idea of marriage at ALL. In fact, I hear it can be a beautiful thing. Who knows? Maybe one day....

[phee]

People better have a good opinion about ultimatums... or ELSE!

[Steven]

here's why I do what I do....forgive me but marriage is a beautiful thang.....

[BrassFusion]

Shit, dude, is that your WIFE???

[Brenda Starrr]

She's so purty!

[Steven]

Shit, dude, is that your WIFE???

that is Lola, my misses.....

[Steven]

She's so purty!

thanks.....I dig her too

[BrassFusion]

Ya. She's hot.