Question For The Women

[Homicidalheathen]

Women, would you feel comfortable proposing marriage? Or would you rather wait until HE does it.

Married couples......who did the proposing?

Just curious.

Quote: 29 Leap year's day. Traditionally this is the day of the year when women can propose marriage to men.

From here: http://syrylynrainbowdragon.tripod.com/february.html

[Steven]

I did it.

knee deep in the mud in Fort Campbell KY while out in the field playing wargames 21 years ago.

I think its cool if women do the asking....but I'm also old fashioned and think men should be men. So men - if you want her, quit dickin around allready and do what your supposed to do.

[phee]

I did

[sass_in_the_pants]

He did.

It's a long story, but he asked me to marry him and then said 'Now run!'

PRetty much everything ends with us having to run away.

Sigh.

I wouldn't propose.

Not my style.

I did, however, choke him every night and deny him Diet Coke until he proposed.

That IS my style.

[saechalyn]

As much as I would like to say yes, I don't think I would be comfortable asking. I think a part of me would wonder if he only married me because I pushed him into it.

[Der Nister]

I've dated three woman that proposed to me - only the third time did I accpet and am currently awaiting that day.

Just about all things have changed from the old stereotype.

[Ice Queen (1)]

If I really wanted to, I hope I would have the nads to ask. But if I was in a relationship where we had a mutual love and respect, we were happy and were best friends, I don't know that I would need or want anything else, so I wouldn't be inclined to ask. But maybe, given the same type of relationship, if he asked, maybe

Saechalyn has a very good point. I have seen a good amount of men propose and marry because of pressure from the female. Just imagine the pressure to marry if the woman proposed. They'd be just going along with it to keep the peace. Yuck! If I was going to be with someone for what is suppose to be for the rest of my life, I would want to know they were with me because they wanted to be, not because I pressured them into it.

I didn't realize there was a "traditional" time that "allowed" women to propose...interesting

How do the guys feel about females proposing?

[Der Nister]

How do the guys feel about females proposing?

I think it's cool.

[Msterbeau]

I asked my ex...

That said, I wish gender roles weren't so engrained. Who cares who asks? And if someone's feeling pressure, then the relationship's probably not that solid or the couple aren't quite ready for it.

At this point in my life, I'm pretty jaded about ever getting re-married. I agree with Ice Cream (Queen )... I don't feel like I need marriage to validate a great relationship.

[Azeuron]

I asked

[bean]

As much as I would like to say yes, I don't think I would be comfortable asking. I think a part of me would wonder if he only married me because I pushed him into it.

I couldn't agree more.

having said that - he asked (we aren't married yet..but the wedding is this year)

[Steven]

If I really wanted to, I hope I would have the nads to ask. But if I was in a relationship where we had a mutual love and respect, we were happy and were best friends, I don't know that I would need or want anything else, so I wouldn't be inclined to ask. But maybe, given the same type of relationship, if he asked, maybe

Saechalyn has a very good point. I have seen a good amount of men propose and marry because of pressure from the female. Just imagine the pressure to marry if the woman proposed. They'd be just going along with it to keep the peace. Yuck! If I was going to be with someone for what is suppose to be for the rest of my life, I would want to know they were with me because they wanted to be, not because I pressured them into it.

I didn't realize there was a "traditional" time that "allowed" women to propose...interesting

How do the guys feel about females proposing?

then in all honesty you are about to marry a man without backbone or foresight - so why would you be inclinded to marry him due to pressure?

I always trip on women who dont really respect their men and yet they stay, or they suspect the dude aint 100% into getting married and yet they do it anyway.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

I have a deep respect for marrige and the oath of devotion that it represents. To me, it's like the ultimate "I love you"

I don't think anyone should ever feel thier potential partner is being pressured into giving that oath. Pressure should never come into the picture... it invalidates the oath... at least to me.

I don't think we will ever get passed gendor roles either. Female and Male brains function differently down to the chemical level and no amount of social reform is going to change that.

My point being... I don't think it matters who asks. Rational people, kinda hard to say that when talking about love, "know" when to ask and who needs to do the asking.

But to answer...

I asked her. She was getting something out of the fridge to make dinner. i was in my office doing some work and thinking about her. I went to the kitchen to get a fresh cup of coffee and as I passed her I whispered "Will you marry me?" and proceeded to get my cup of coffee. I was halfway done when what I had sunk in.

"What did you say?"

"When?"

"Just now as you passed."

"Nothing, unless thats what you want. In which case you know what I said. I am going to get back to work and try to keep myself busy until you decided if I asked you anything or not."

I didn't get out of the kitchen for 3 hours.

[Fierce Critter]

Hm. Ours was... weird.

Jon and I met online in February, 1998. In April, he came up to Michigan and lived in a weekly motel in Southgate while working. I went to see him every day. We talked, we cuddled, we did... other stuff. We also discussed together the possibility of being married. Not proposing, just discussing.

One night at the end of April, he was laying down on his back, and I was laying on my back, sorta cradled in his arms. He reached down, took a ring off his finger, and put it on mine, and asked me if I would marry him. I cried and said yes.

The next day, I made him ask me again. I said yes again.

And we got married that year, October 25. 9 years ago.

The ring he put on my finger was actually my own. While he was in Florida still, I would send him little gifts. one of the things I sent him was a silver ring I wore for years with the word "truth" on it in old English writing. I sent him that and he got it on the very day that he headed up to Michigan. He put that back on my hand as an engagement ring. I lost that ring in one of the houses we lived in in NC, and it makes me sick.

I have a new truth ring that I don't like as much. And we've tried over the years to get me a "real" engagement ring. But it hasn't worked out. Either the ring couldn't hold its gems, or it just didn't feel right. Maybe someday, I'll have a "real" engagement ring and we can exchange our $6.00 Kohl's sterling silver rings for gold ones.

[Dollardave]

I proposed now I wish I hadn't cuz it just fucked me up more in life. I proposed divorce too LOL. Fuck it I was ready to cut my ties.

[Rayne]

I was engaged at 16 to my oldest daughter's father. We didn't marry until I was 18. He asked me.

Again when I was 20, married almost a year later at 21. He also asked me.

Then Phee and I got engaged in July and married in October. LOL, he asked me too.

It's not that I think the guy always should ... it just kind of happened that way.

[jadnifer]

I dont think that it matters who does the proposing, however I wouldnt do it. I guess that Im just old fashioned in that sense. Im the one that wants to be asked.

Kudos to the women that can ask though.

I dont think that if the woman asked that the man should feel pressured. He has just as much right to say yes or no or I have to think about it than a woman does if the man asks her to marry him.

If there is any pressure felt then the relationship isnt strong enough for marriage at that time or the partners just arent ready for that type of a committment to each other.

There are many couples that live together and have children and never get married. I think that that is also perfectly acceptable. Whatever is good for the couple to keep things on an even keel in the relationship. Some famous couples that have had a relationship like that include:

Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn

Gene Simmons from Kiss and his wife Quote:" I've been happily unmarried for 27 years."

[Homicidalheathen]

I am a bit old fashioned and so I waited........

And waited........

And finally he asked after 2 yrs of living together.

This is how it went down.

We are sitting on the couch after a looong day of taking care of twin toddlers.......and a teen boy.

(who thought he was pimpin lol)

And he turns to me and says......I guess we should get married soon, huh.

I totally am for women proposing now, I wish I had......I guess I was afraid of 'pressure' and rejection.

But if I had I might have a bit more of a romantic memory lol

[the eternal]

I can't imagine not asking.

I think though, that you shouldn't ask until you know it's something both people want.

I did it, after a long day of shoppingin the foyer entrance to the Barnes and Noble at Oakland Mall.

We sat down to talk for a moment about plans for the evening and when we'd see each other next.

I told her that I couldn't wait for the day when every day we'd be together. She agreed.

I took out the ring, got on one knee, and proposed.

It was romantic.

[bean]

I cried..like a girl. It was silly and fabulous and spontaneous.

I love him ^ to pieces.

[JaneDead]

when i got engaged it was more like we talked about it and agreed on it. not really a proposal. when he gave me the ring [later] he was nervous though. i said why were you nervous? we talked about getting married. i already knew so it was not like he was asking and needed to be scared.

if i ever got married again, and it's a big if, i don't know how it would go?? who knows... if i am with that person long enough and i feel it is what i want to do maybe i would ask? but i doubt it. i think i would want him to ask me. i don't think a guy should HAVE to propose, it is just what i would like.

[CandyQuackenbush]

The first time I was ever engaged, I was 19, and it was after our first break up, but after he had a job where he was out of town alot.

It wasn't anything special at all. We went to the store, I found this Emerald ring *I didn't want anything uber fancy*, and I told him I was in love with it. I didn't get indepth about the vaule of the ring, or how much it costed, I just liked it, and I told him that.

About a week before my birthday, he literally tossed me a little box. All he says is "Catch" after I was walking up to him, and he says, "happy birthday, and here's your ring".

Romantic, i know....

Lo-and-be hold, I found out from his parents, that the only reason he rushed a ring in my face was because I was going into the army, and he'd be insured, and if anything happens to me, he's set for life.

Also romantic, I know....

Then his FRIEND told me that the only reason why did got the ring was so I would stop wondering why this Ann girl was calling him, and he would be ready to go pick her up and take her to the air port because they did out of state work together. Bullshit.

Only upside to that damn ring was when I caught him the 2nd time in out bed with this Ann girl, and then I pawned the ring shortly after.... he didn't spend money on it at all. When I pawned it, I only got $2.50. TWO FUCKING DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS!

But back onto the topic, I am waiting for Odims to bring our relationship to the next step. He asks me every morning if I will marry him, and I tell him in a joking matter, until you get me a ring. With his sence of humour, I have this feeling I'm getting an Onion ring..... and a puppy.

[sass_in_the_pants]

But back onto the topic, I am waiting for Odims to bring our relationship to the next step. He asks me every morning if I will marry him, and I tell him in a joking matter, until you get me a ring. With his sence of humour, I have this feeling I'm getting an Onion ring..... and a puppy.

Mmmm...onion rings....

[Homicidalheathen]

That is sooo sweet! I LOVE that place,( did anyone see, clap and cheer?

I can't imagine not asking.

I think though, that you shouldn't ask until you know it's something both people want.

I did it, after a long day of shoppingin the foyer entrance to the Barnes and Noble at Oakland Mall.

We sat down to talk for a moment about plans for the evening and when we'd see each other next.

I told her that I couldn't wait for the day when every day we'd be together. She agreed.

I took out the ring, got on one knee, and proposed.

It was romantic.

[TygerLili]

I think before anyone proposes marriage, it's important for both parties to have a talk and be honest about what they are expecting out of the relationship, so ultimately, I don't think it matters who proposes if you are on the same page.

I would be, and was with my ex, totally freaked out if I was dating someone who asked me to marry him without having had the "Where do you want this to go?" conversation(he was only half serious, but it still spooked me). I do want to be married some day. I'm in no rush, but if I am going to stay with someone I would eventually like to have that level of commitment, and after I've been with someone for a while and feel like I could possibly see the relationship going somewhere I have not problem bringing it up if he doesn't.

That said, the much smaller, romantic part of me is old fashioned and would like to be proposed to in some special way.