Why Is It?

[hunhee]

OK, when I was married, I had nothing but girls who were my friends, now, I have like NONE.. all my friends are guys. (believe me, I don't have a lot of friends)

Why does this happen?

Is it because my girlfriends have hubbies/boyfriends and since I'm no longer in that zone, I don't count anymore? I think that's kind of petty if that's the case.

What do you guys/girls think?

[Oh_My_Goth]

Perhaps they are jealous of your new found freedom.....

[TygerLili]

The last time I had more than three close female friends at a time was high school. This has more or less held true regardless of whether or not I was in a serious relationship.

I'm not sure as to why, other than than I've never been a "girlie-girl" and none of the female friends I've had in recent years were what I would call "girlie-girls" either. That squealing sound that women make when they haven't seen each other in a long time...yeah...makes me want to commit justifiable homicide.

The only thing that comes to mind is that, like me, you're a natural flirt, and if you're not attached that makes you "a threat." I know, pretty silly. It's like, I flirt with everyone, I don't even realize I'm doing it, and don't you trust your husband/boyfriend?

[Msterbeau]

I'm the same only opposite. I have far more female friends...

[Guest Megalicious]

I think that is part of it Hunhee. Another part of it (for me anyways) is that I just don't like girls very much. They bitch and moan, they want to sit around and "talk" about other girls (which I don't care about), and I just don't feel at ease with them.

Guys on the other hand, I can talk about dork shit and they know what I mean, I can burp, fart, or tell crude jokes and not get the look of "I can't believe you just did that". Guys don't point out that the eyeshadow on my right eye is a little smudged.

But then again, these days I don't have time for either.

As for your past friends having boyfriends and not socilalizing with you very much, yes that is petty as fuck. But it happens all the time......

[torn asunder]

i guess in order to be qualified to answer this, i'd have to first have friends...

[Hellion]

IMO,I thinks its a slight form of discrimination towads single ppl,I havewritten off for life certian friends\relatives tha have acted like that.i also have alot of friends and relatives that are either married or going out with someone tha do not do this,must be a age thing since most are all in ther late 30s to mid 40s,I never will ever bow off good friends that are single if I a going out with someone,never have never will,its not right.

[hunhee]

i guess in order to be qualified to answer this, i'd have to first have friends...

awww.. i'll be your friend *hugs*

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

OK, when I was married, I had nothing but girls who were my friends, now, I have like NONE.. all my friends are guys. (believe me, I don't have a lot of friends)

Why does this happen?

Is it because my girlfriends have hubbies/boyfriends and since I'm no longer in that zone, I don't count anymore? I think that's kind of petty if that's the case.

What do you guys/girls think?

you know....honestly...I think it's something rooted in the human psyche....it's one of the oddiest things I've ever come across...but it's there.

I think it actually goes back to pre-historic society...but I jsut can't pinpoint it.

[Onyx]

I have noticed the same thing. Unfortunately the few female friends I could actually do stuff with are in and around Detroit. I just dont' have too much in common with this small-town bunch of people it seems.

Maybe this summer we should plan some DGN get-togethers not involving clubbing. Maybe a shopping trip - thrift stores and such? (guys and gals both - would be lotsa fun!)

[hunhee]

That's where I differ from most girls. I HATE shopping..so much so I have to make it an event, I really won't do it unless it's absolutely necessary.

I hate most retail establishments, even if I have to go to one, I really prefer not to.

I am so not my own gender.. *sighs*

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

OK, when I was married, I had nothing but girls who were my friends, now, I have like NONE.. all my friends are guys. (believe me, I don't have a lot of friends)

Why does this happen?

Is it because my girlfriends have hubbies/boyfriends and since I'm no longer in that zone, I don't count anymore? I think that's kind of petty if that's the case.

What do you guys/girls think?

we can make it simplier....cuz dez bitches!!!!!

[hunhee]

we can make it simplier....cuz dez bitches!!!!!

Nah it's just sad that people that I've been friends with for over 12-15 years and they won't even pick up the damn phone when I call just to say hey, or talk and they don't even return phone calls.

Is it being single THAT much of a threat?

I consider myself a very good friend, I will bend over backwards for people who I have respect for, all I ask is a call back in return.. *sighs* I guess I should just write them off.. *shakes head*

Yeah I guess you're right..

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

Nah it's just sad that people that I've been friends with for over 12-15 years and they won't even pick up the damn phone when I call just to say hey, or talk and they don't even return phone calls.

Is it being single THAT much of a threat?

I consider myself a very good friend, I will bend over backwards for people who I have respect for, all I ask is a call back in return.. *sighs* I guess I should just write them off.. *shakes head*

Yeah I guess you're right..

some people view being single as that much of a threat..yes...take the "beast" for example...any single woman in a 10 mile radius of me is after my nuts...according to her (I wish someone would have informed me of this earlier)....now....I don't know why she has this viewpoint (though telling her that there have been oppertunities where I could have cheated, and didn't...probably NOT the brightest male idea to ever come down the line)...but she does, regardless.

[hunhee]

some people view being single as that much of a threat..yes...take the "beast" for example...any single woman in a 10 mile radius of me is after my nuts...according to her (I wish someone would have informed me of this earlier)....now....I don't know why she has this viewpoint (though telling her that there have been oppertunities where I could have cheated, and didn't...probably NOT the brightest male idea to ever come down the line)...but she does, regardless.

Oh damn, I'm not anywhere near 10 miles from you and I am still after your nuts.. what's a girl to do? LMAO

uhh..where was I? oh yeah, not good to tell the current that you're being hunted, never settles well, then they think EVERYONE is out to get them..err you. Especially if they're paranoid. Unless it's true, like in your case, *giggles*

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

Oh damn, I'm not anywhere near 10 miles from you and I am still after your nuts.. what's a girl to do? LMAO

uhh..where was I? oh yeah, not good to tell the current that you're being hunted, never settles well, then they think EVERYONE is out to get them..err you. Especially if they're paranoid. Unless it's true, like in your case, *giggles*

lol...thats it....I'm opening a school "Godfallen's University of How to Meet People....Most of Them Females"...hmmm....I think thats gonna be a clustered shirt...."GO, G.U.H.M.P.M.T.F.!!!!!"

*dances into the end zone cuz he got another woman to say they were after his nuts"...I really do love being me some times...it's crazy...

[torn asunder]

awww.. i'll be your friend *hugs*

heh, yeah, they all say that, until they get to know me...

[hunhee]

heh, yeah, they all say that, until they get to know me...

know you in the biblical sense?

[hunhee]

lol...thats it....I'm opening a school "Godfallen's University of How to Meet People....Most of Them Females"...hmmm....I think thats gonna be a clustered shirt...."GO, G.U.H.M.P.M.T.F.!!!!!"

*dances into the end zone cuz he got another woman to say they were after his nuts"...I really do love being me some times...it's crazy...

keep your chaps on cowboy, I was just joking *giggles*

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

keep your chaps on cowboy, I was just joking *giggles*

*....and watches as his ego is smashed underfoot....by a kitten*

[Hellion]

Good thread

[Bernadette]

I can see varying sides of this (maybe cuz I'm a Libra -- balancing scales):

You know the saying -- people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime -- if I lose touch with someone because they fall off -- I try to chalk it up to the reason or season. It can be tough not to take personally though, especially if they are not making any effort back. Alot of times too (and this is going to sound cliche), it's them and not you that are the issue.

Also, depending on what's going on in people's lives.. they get into different activities, unfortunately being single vs married/kids sometimes doesn't mesh well.

And regardless, it seems like our lives get busier regardless, thus making it harder to get together with friends -- single or otherwise. Life and responsibilities and priorities change.

There can be different levels of friends too -- inner and outer circle -- basically close vs acquaintance. That can determine how often/type of interaction. And they can ebb/flow amongst the circles over time -- may be closer with that at certain times than others.

I know these may come across as excuses...

For me personally, I've always been a tom-boy, into sports, etc and not a girly-girl (altho I tend to have more tendencies as I get older - I don't have the girly 'squeak' gene thank goodness!).

I have a fair amount of close friends, male and female. I have to say that there's usually less drama from the males. You can pickup where you left off with them without anyone keeping score or whatever. I am social and a connector, but even I've slowed down over time - -I used to go out alot more than I do now. But I'm okay with that. (and my beau will comment that even still, I'll run into someone I know everywhere we go!)

[torn asunder]

know you in the biblical sense?

umm, i never studied the bible...

[sass_in_the_pants]

I think when people couple off they tend to go through a 'nesting' period where they want to spend all of their time with their new hubbie or wife.

Then, it's like a year later and they realize that they've heard eachother's dumb stories about five hundred times now and maybe they should go out into the social world again.

It happens to the best of people.

Hopefully, your friends are just going through a phase and they'll come around.

And like Bernadette said, people's priorities and activities shift. It's nothing to take personally, it just happens.

Oh yeah, and cuz dez bitches.

[TygerLili]

One thing I've noticed is that maintaining friendships with women takes more time and energy than it does with men.

Women, or at least the ones I've known, expect you to call them constantly and you're lucky to get off the phone in half an hour. With men you can not talk to them for two months, then call for five minutes and say "Just wondered how you're doing," and they don't get mad or accuse you of being a bad friend.

Not that I make a habit of ignoring my friends for 2+ months at a time, but when I was working, in school and in a relationship I didn't have the time to spend 2-3 hours per week on the phone with multiple girlfriends.