Real Life vs. Internet life

[torn asunder]

in every part of my life, i won't say anything that i wouldn't say directly to someone. occasionally, i might phrase things in a way that might be a bit harsher than if they were right in front of me, but i will always admit to whatever i said, no matter how harsh, and then qualify my statements with explanations. no exceptions. occasionally, i'll decide it's better to just not speak up, though...

[aequorea]

You got off lightly..

:blush: umm, well... that's not ALL that happened...

[torn asunder]

:blush: umm, well... that's not ALL that happened...

[Msterbeau]

:blush: umm, well... that's not ALL that happened...

You were still standing and clothed at 3:30 AM...

[Hellion]

I will not bother wasting my time with assholes if I can help it,though PM messaging comes in handy for behind the scenes arguments.What disgusts me is the love of apathy and hate here and out in the real world,i try not to get into one of those hate arguments,thats why I just block them, anyone I really despise,(off DGN board) is mostly crooked/dishonest people, lawmakers and CEO corporate garbage.IMO I think people we know here, and outside of hereshould worry more about what the goverment is doing to us and the economy and our rights being taken away,than bicker with each other.Reaper's BBQ party was a great example of everyone getting along and having a good time.wish it was like that more often.

[SaGa]

perhaps people have to have the internet, and forums to articulate what they couldnt in real life. conversation style is very much different in person then in a writen structure. and yes not seeing those faces is a negative and positive thing...it does not help me much because i like being with people in person, the internet takes emotion and isolates it, can you feel affection beyond words, no. so it just isolates people... but in our society where people are MILES away instead of just a 15 minute walk away, we choose this medium, but at a huge cost.

perhaps depression and anxiety whould be less if everyone avoided the internet and choose a in person setting

[Msterbeau]

perhaps people have to have the internet, and forums to articulate what they couldnt in real life. conversation style is very much different in person then in a writen structure. and yes not seeing those faces is a negative and positive thing...it does not help me much because i like being with people in person, the internet takes emotion and isolates it, can you feel affection beyond words, no. so it just isolates people... but in our society where people are MILES away instead of just a 15 minute walk away, we choose this medium, but at a huge cost.

perhaps depression and anxiety whould be less if everyone avoided the internet and choose a in person setting

I totally get that writing can sometimes be a better medium, depending on mood, energy, etc. And so for that... and distance or inability to be with like minded people, it's a great thing to have forums and chat... But it's amazing to me to see how quickly figured out that they can be utter assholes online and forget there is still a human on the other end.

[Shade Everdark]

I do have to say, though...

I met the DGN crowd for the first time last Saturday, and it was not what I expected at all! Two people introduced themselves by kissing me - and not a peck on the cheek, either! - and one introduced herself by grabbing my ass... my mind is still reeling...

Sigh. I miss all the good shows. I guess that's what happens when I dance for three hours.

[Hellion]

Yes alot of us have been guilty of arguments here,even me,but other than that,I have been trying very hard to maintain myself here,but now since I am moving again thanks to the assh@@e that I lived with,he almost made me release my inner demons in a very nasty way,so I decided to say fuck it and move in with one of my siblings,which kept me from doing something I would have regretted later,btw this was no one on the board,FYI one major cause of drama here is anyone who purposely dwells on someones bad side only,and forgets their good side.IMO everyone has a bad side even the Pope has a bad side,LOL!I really miss the old days of DGN (sigh)

[Hellion]

Also a poor economy could be a possible reason why some ppl here might have a short fuse,with everyone losing their jobs,homes,cars,etc etc,tempers can be iffy a lot of times.

[TygerLili]

So... I've heard people say in these forums and others that "This is just the internet,, blah blah, don't get so upset.. blah, blah... I say what I want because who cares... blah, blah..."

Some of the threats and drama online are just amazing to me.

But really.. Would you say a lot of what you say here to people's faces? And is there not a human life at the other keyboard? Does that person not deserve a reasonable amount of consideration and respect, whether you agree with their point of view or not?

I think this is similar to how we behave in cars. We're in isolated compartments and conveniently forget to be considerate of others. Road rage anyone? Again... Would you do and say things in a car if you were face to face in your living room?

There are a couple ancient online communities that actually require you to use your real name. Because of this, they are closed communities so that information isn't available to just anyone. On the other hand, there's no hiding behind an anonymous screen name. And because of that, they are far more civil places to have a discussion.

Personally, I think if you treat this all as a game and an amusement, then go play a game or go to the fair... People's emotions and lives are neither games nor amusements. Which doesn't mean we shouldn't allow fun and humor, but that we should always consider that there are real people behind the words on the screen.

Well said Marc. I feel both ways.

On one hand people who get to the point of "Oh, woe is me, 200 people didn't post sympathy messages in my thread about how much my life sucks. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms." type-posts really need to lighten up and realize that it's just a message board, that we don't all spend 24/7 on the internet, and that sometimes a person doesn't comment because they don't feel like they have anything useful to add, not because they don't care.

On the other, people who intentionally try to get others worked up and defensive for their own amusement are, in my opinion, people we don't need around here. Obviously in controversial topics people are going to disagree, and often the discussions get a little heated, but if you have to resort to threats and name-calling then just STFU and go back to your playpen until you learn what a mature discussion is.

I'm a little bolder in my choice of words on the internet because I rarely ever post anything that's aimed at any specific person, and because I just tend to be more shy in person unless you know me quite well, but I never post anything that I wouldn't dare to say in real life. I try to be careful when joking around, because it's hard to convey sarcasm through this medium, and I think that's where a lot of the misunderstanding that lead to petty insults and threats come from. Some jokes really are hurtful to others, even if you don't see it that way, so if you are in doubt, you probably shouldn't post it.

Oh, and I hate hate hate the "If you don't like it, don't read the thread" defense. That's like saying, if you don't like the law, don't abide by it.

[JaneDead]

On one hand people who get to the point of "Oh, woe is me, 200 people didn't post sympathy messages in my thread about how much my life sucks. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms." type-posts really need to lighten up and realize that it's just a message board, that we don't all spend 24/7 on the internet, and that sometimes a person doesn't comment because they don't feel like they have anything useful to add, not because they don't care.

On the other, people who intentionally try to get others worked up and defensive for their own amusement are, in my opinion, people we don't need around here. Obviously in controversial topics people are going to disagree, and often the discussions get a little heated, but if you have to resort to threats and name-calling then just STFU and go back to your playpen until you learn what a mature discussion is.

i think you have pinpointed the exact meaning dgn has for some if you take this away from them, what will they have??

[know_buddy_kares]

i think you have pinpointed the exact meaning dgn has for some if you take this away from them, what will they have??

gaia.com or whatever that website is...

also live journal...

[JaneDead]

gaia.com or whatever that website is...

also live journal...

i think people prefer "dead journal" as opposed to the "live" one. at least they used to.

[know_buddy_kares]

i think people prefer "dead journal" as opposed to the "live" one. at least they used to.

heh i wouldn't know, those are both dramafag sites honestly.. a bunch of attention whores writing 10 pages worth of meaningless boring crap about doing nothing...

and gaia.. dear god that is like the extreme opposite of "anonymous" sites.

perfect for those pity me attention whores.

[SuZQZ]

Like JaneDead, Miranda and the others, I pretty much state online what I would say to someone's face. Additionally, on the internet as in real life, if someone states something that pisses me off or gets my goat (I hate it when someone tries to take my goat ), I will walk away from it for a while, cool off, and collect my thoughts. Then I will reply or respond if I still feel it is necessary. I guess I just always try to remain courteous and considerate of others, whether I am typing it or saying it.

[jynxxxedangel]

Darlins, my real life forces me to have to be "phony" much of the time, and bear with peoples' idiocy, lack of manners and short-comings, even if I don't care for them much-- all for the sake of the almighty dollar.

HERE, I can truly be MYSELF, and express my true opinions. It is very refreshing to me, to be able to be so HONEST. I would lose my mind if I couldn't blog, or post in my favorite forums. The internet has helped me to retain my humanity, after living in a fantasy world where I was losing my identity for so long.

It makes people dislike me sometimes, because I am brutally truthful-- but HEY, if you post a somewhat controversial thread that invokes varied opinions from others in your online community, you should be prepared to hear others' points of view you may not really care for-- or agree with. Isn't provoking "thought" what a forum is all about???

I too, would NEVER say anything on here that I wouldn't say directly to someones face. Never write checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash.

I have had a few ladies on this forum write thinly-disguised snarky things, where I KNOW they were referring to ME, but I refuse to become angry about it. I don't sit and obsess over it, because I don't give a fuck whether they like me or not. I am confident enough to know who I am, and what a good person I am. Snide comments from jealous, hatin' chits are exactly that. If you don't like me, there is something wrong with you-- because of your immature jealousy issues, you're missing out on one of the best friends you could ever have in your LIFE.

The internet is a strange place; you will meet the best of the best people, and you will also meet the dregs. Angels and trolls are around every turn.

[tanuki1985]

Never write checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash.

My nomination for best quote ever!

[MyViolentMachine]

The internet is the way I ould like to be towards people I have never met before. Once I am comfortable with someone in person I will probably be the same way I am on here. But unless someone makes the first move I'll just keep to myself.

Fuck You, social anxiety.

[aequorea]

Fuck You, social anxiety.

took me 8 years of work to get out from underneath it, and there are still days when i'm not so sure...

so yeah, i can sympathize with that!

keep up the good fight :-D

[Shade Everdark]

The internet is the way I ould like to be towards people I have never met before. Once I am comfortable with someone in person I will probably be the same way I am on here. But unless someone makes the first move I'll just keep to myself.

Fuck You, social anxiety.

took me 8 years of work to get out from underneath it, and there are still days when i'm not so sure...

so yeah, i can sympathize with that!

keep up the good fight :-D

Y'ain't the only one dealing with it, I can tell you that much.

[Burrich1]

I've never posted anything here I wouldn't have said in real life. (Ok, maybe after a drink or two, but only because posting also helps me a little in the social anxiety department. As does just a smidge of alcohol.)

[tanuki1985]

Fuck You, social anxiety.

I used to be really shy, and I still am shy sometimes. I know it's hard to overcome, but I found that it's best to try to approach people with confidence.

[JaneDead]

I used to be really shy, and I still am shy sometimes. I know it's hard to overcome, but I found that it's best to try to approach people with confidence.

makes all the difference in the world

[mrs~chi~vious]

Darlins, my real life forces me to have to be "phony" much of the time, and bear with peoples' idiocy, lack of manners and short-comings, even if I don't care for them much-- all for the sake of the almighty dollar.

What exactly DO you do? If you do not mind my asking???

HERE, I can truly be MYSELF, and express my true opinions. It is very refreshing to me, to be able to be so HONEST. I would lose my mind if I couldn't blog, or post in my favorite forums. The internet has helped me to retain my humanity, after living in a fantasy world where I was losing my identity for so long.

It makes people dislike me sometimes, because I am brutally truthful-- but HEY, if you post a somewhat controversial thread that invokes varied opinions from others in your online community, you should be prepared to hear others' points of view you may not really care for-- or agree with. Isn't provoking "thought" what a forum is all about???

Here here!

I too, would NEVER say anything on here that I wouldn't say directly to someones face. Never write checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash.

I honestly think that this is the best quote on a thread I have seen on here! So true, so true...

I have had a few ladies on this forum write thinly-disguised snarky things, where I KNOW they were referring to ME, but I refuse to become angry about it. I don't sit and obsess over it, because I don't give a fuck whether they like me or not. I am confident enough to know who I am, and what a good person I am. Snide comments from jealous, hatin' chits are exactly that. If you don't like me, there is something wrong with you-- because of your immature jealousy issues, you're missing out on one of the best friends you could ever have in your LIFE.

I <3 you because you used the word "chits." Not a lot of people use that one!

The internet is a strange place; you will meet the best of the best people, and you will also meet the dregs. Angels and trolls are around every turn.

Again, a lot of truth is spoken in this reply. Good thread/topic by the way...

I do know that I can be BRUTALLY honest at times, but (as I am planning on meeting ALL of you someday, and some of you I have already met and become friends with!) I do try and consider peoples feelings when I post. I try to calm down, collect my thoughts, have a smoke, mentally regroup and THEN post a diluted but still gets the point across reply.

Life is too short to put up with people's shit. I LIKE to debate about things, I LIKE hearing differing points of view, but I also will not reduce myself to "High School" mentality and start calling you names or some shit like that either.

Bottom line? If I wouldn't have the balls (and keep in mind I AM a chick) to say whatever I want to say to your face, I won't post it on here, because like someone else said, I could run into you at the grocery store tomorrow.

Everyone on here has been really cool to me, and accepted me for who I am and I throughly enjoyed my time at CC with y'all! I have been on other "Goth sites" where I was not "Goth Enough" because I you know...um work OTHER colors than black, and actually SMILED once in awhile!

Can't deal with reality? Life to hard on you? Yea, they make a pill for that. I should know I am on them!

OK starting to make the LONG DECENT off of soapbox now.

~End Transmission~

MCV