Real Life vs. Internet life

[Destroit]

I'm the opposite of most of the people on DGN where I'm actually more tame on DGN than I am in real life. The most blatant reason for such is my moderator status and the fact that it's pretty much my job to always bite my tongue, which obviously I respect and try to uphold.

In real life, if I choose, I could probably make a grown man cry in front of his girlfriend, mother, and grandmother at the same time. I possess those powers. Do I use them? Usually if I think it will make a difference in the person. I'm of the persuasion where I believe in certain instances people NEED to be taken down a few pegs if they're ever going to "get it", whatever it may be. Occasionally I've been known to be intentionally spiteful, but now that I've gotten older that's sort of worn off. My days of being mean for amusement are back in high school.

I don't try to be mean, but I'm 100% truthful all the time. Ask me if an outfit looks good on you when it doesn't go with your structure? I'll tell you it doesn't. Mismatch your clothes and ask if it goes together? I'll let you know you're gonna get arrested by the fashion police. Ask me opinions? I'll tell you what I think. Then sometimes, as I stated in the prior paragraph, some people are totally fucking clueless and I'll just blatantly tell them they're fucking up.

All depends on the situation, really...

[Draco1958]

I think I am a little more forward in this setting. That's due in part to the fact that this seems to be, in general, a very tolerant and eclectic group. I'm sure that the anonymity also plays a part though - it's easier to post a comment than to say something face to face.

That's all connected to revealing things about myself though, things that I normally keep hidden in daily life. Regardless of setting, I always try to be respectful of others. If I really think someone is an asshole, then I ignore them - well, unless they're picking on someone else.

I do have to say, though...

I met the DGN crowd for the first time last Saturday, and it was not what I expected at all! Two people introduced themselves by kissing me - and not a peck on the cheek, either! - and one introduced herself by grabbing my ass... my mind is still reeling...

My first time at CC, I was bitten on the neck 3 times. Thought more was coming but didn't happen. Such teases.

I speak my mind but not in a way to seem like an attack. If I disagree I will state why I disagree without attacking the poster. I am so tired of some rebuttal postings I have seen that have comments in them that obviously are insults at the poster. If you can't post intelligently to get your point across without adding an insult then don't respond. It makes your point weak, makes you look foolish and will push people away from wanting to talk to you. If I disagree I hope my post will open a dialogue so that I can understand where the person is coming from and hopefully they will see where I am. That way we both have the opportunity to learn and maybe change our point of view in a positive way.

[the eternal]

Sigh. I miss all the good shows. I guess that's what happens when I dance for three hours.

For Bean and I, you WERE the good show.

I usually hate people that dance differently, because they always bump into me or step on my feet.

But you and Nienna's, um, unique style of dance was very entertaining

We enjoyed it much!

So be sure to be on the dancefloor next time too.

As for the "other" show, Bean (esp. now that she doesn't drink)

hates people touching her so that's not a big attraction for her,

and overt affection, when I'm involved (other than energy hugs which I love) confuses me since

I'm a really emotional person and not really comfortable casually kissing or grabbing people (except my honey, of course).

Not that we judge others doing it, it's just not our thing.

(We do like talking though and are usually quite friendly )

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I will say that although people need to be more respectful,

unfortunately there will always be people who are insecure, and use the internet as an outlet to be that confident, cocky asshole, they wish they were in real life.

I personally never wanted to be a cocky asshole, so that hasn't been an issue.

As for anyone that meets me, I'm the same:

outgoing, friendly, self-deprecating, sarcastic, lovable, annoying, opinionated, empathetic dork in person that I am online.

It is interesting to meet people in person though.

They often are much quieter, esp. at events like Reaper's party.

I won't agree that Chernobyl's the opposite, because she's always been super-nice to me in person,

but there is one woman who seemed so nice online and knocked me on my ass because she was very snobby in person.

It was so unnerving that I couldn't even stay in the same room as her, so I guess it depends on the person.

Of course with Cher, our beliefs are the polar opposite, but I respect her intelligence and her kind nature, even if it IS only to rats so it probably makes sense that we'd get along better when hot topics are generally not discussed.

(That's the other thing: How often are you going to have a heated political discussion while getting wasted at a club?)

But in the end I guess it depends where you choose to put up your walls.

That other person I referenced, may only feel comfortable letting her guard down on the net.

It's tough being naked and upfront all the time.

It makes it a lot easier to get hurt.

And sometimes, to protect yourself, it's easier to hurt others first.

I wish it didn't happen, but what can you do.

EVEN I sometimes censor myself, both online and in person.

It's probably better I do that rather than saying:

"Hey ! You are SO full of yourself,

have you ever considered stopping posting 58 threads that no one cares about or responds to it

because no one gives a shit about the toe jam in your foot?"

OR

"HEY You are EXTREMELY creepy,

I'm going to need your name and address so I can scrub it with the Sex Offender registry"

So, if we've learned nothing else it is that

Sometimes, it IS good to show restraint.

I just can't guarantee it will always happen.

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PS To the people who are offended that not enough people responded to their posts or thoughts,

A LITTLE ADVICE:

--most people ARE self-absorbed,

that's what I always thought was one of the hallmarks of goth culture---

"woe is me (not you)"

--we're pretty friendly as far as communities go, but sometimes we have nothing to add,

because if we did...

we'd probably say something like "whoa that's fucked up," which is oftentimes worse than not posting

Just assume that if you unload, we REALLY ARE supportive,

(even if we're not--it'll make you feel better to assume that anyway)

just not as supportive as you may need,

and since we don't know you personally, we may not even know what to say when you DO unload,

which is why as Saga said, you'll need to head out and round up a few IRL friends too

PPS Note to Janedead: I still count on your compliments when I write marathon posts that I think noone'll read, so my above comment doesn't let you off the hook.

[EAF (1)]

Me personally I end up kind of switching back and fourth to as of which one I am more outgoing with, but can definitaly flirt better online. lol But I do like that you decided to make this thread simply because I completely agree...real life or net...either way people need to learn to be respectful and considerate.

[SaGa]

i tend to be reactive when socializing, i dont even think its about confidence, its just i dont know what to say in general

[JaneDead]

PPS Note to Janedead: I still count on your compliments when I write marathon posts that I think noone'll read, so my above comment doesn't let you off the hook.

i read them all unless they are in some topic/forum i may not know i should be reading-

directing me to those topics/forums is always a great help

[Msterbeau]

i read them all unless they are in some topic/forum i may not know i should be reading-

directing me to those topics/forums is always a great help

You should read everything. And you should damn well know where Eternal is going to post..

[JaneDead]

You should read everything. And you should damn well know where Eternal is going to post..

i can't keep up with everyone and everything.

if i follow the eternal i will have to stop following you AND phee.

[Msterbeau]

i can't keep up with everyone and everything.

if i follow the eternal i will have to stop following you AND phee.

Hmmm.. Good point. He writes to much anyways. Phee and I are efficient with words so people can follow us easily.

[Shade Everdark]

For Bean and I, you WERE the good show.

I usually hate people that dance differently, because they always bump into me or step on my feet.

But you and Nienna's, um, unique style of dance was very entertaining

We enjoyed it much!

So be sure to be on the dancefloor next time too.

Um...I don't know...erm...quite how to take that....

[Msterbeau]

Um...I don't know...erm...quite how to take that....

Bowing would be appropriate.

[Shade Everdark]

Bowing would be appropriate.

Maybe I'll just strut for them the next time I see 'em.

[Msterbeau]

Maybe I'll just strut for them the next time I see 'em.

You do that already...

*Runs*

[Shade Everdark]

You do that already...

*Runs*

That's not strutting, that's swagger, Photo-Man.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Huh.

I never thought about the internet/car connection. I totally see what you're talking about though.

I dunno.

I'm kind of an ass online. That's kind of how I am in real life, too.

Not that any of you will ever get to meet me in real life.

Cuz I'm a ninja.

[the eternal]

You should read everything. And you should damn well know where Eternal is going to post..

Um politics, and, um, well politics. Music sometimes.

Always the "How are you feeling" thread...

Did I mention politics?

i can't keep up with everyone and everything.

If I follow the eternal I will have to stop following you AND phee.

No, and here's why.

A. I'm not on that much anymore

B. When you read my posts, you don't need to read a chapter of the book you're reading, since my post is chapter-length to begin with and

C. I do the public service of correcting everyone's spelling and capitalizing their I's.

I'm all about the community.

So you can have your eternal and phee it too

Forget Mstrbeau. We're not a board for hatin'

In fact i could've sworn someone, just started a thread about people throwing down online.

Who could that have been?

Hmmm.. Good point. He writes to much anyways. Phee and I are efficient with words so people can follow us easily.

Aha! I found him!

[ttogreh]

I am actually somewhat personable and pleasant offline. According to folks here, my writing style seems at times haughty and off-putting. Perhaps I am compensating for something that I don't get in real life.

Or maybe I just enjoy being a dick on the internet.

[Scales]

My personality leans towards introversion. Writing is a craft and genetic obsession for me, it's more than communication. I can hurt a person badly with words, but I usually save criticism for people I care about.

I'm a friendly, geeky person with an overactive imagination and a lot of black clothes; that doesn't mean I can't aspire to become a super-badass, dark-romantic speech god, rumored to have mystical, shamanic powers. However, I'm not pretending to be something I'm not, I'm just waiting for Diablo III to come out.

[Morbid Side]

I don't care who you are, what you do. but don't pretend to be someone you're not. My biggest pet peeve with the net is everyone (well most everyone who I know) always tells me stupid shit about Myspace or some stupid video they uploaded on YouTube. I've been at fault for this before in public or at social event where I'm trying to make small talk. Another thing I dislike is that people behind a PC screen will threaten you by saying "Oh fuck you noob, I'm sending you a virus or hack you." Get a freakin' life you pepporoni faced geek who lives in his mothers basement. Thats not me knocking any hackers out there, there is good ones that I know too. Lastly, why is it that I know people that read way to much into the internet, only to be shocked that they're wrong and don't have a clue what they're talking about.

[Morbid Side]

Yeah, I could go on all night and whats the deal with cyber sex? If you're 15 and you are not eligible for the real thing then fine, but guys/girls hiding their real indentity who are so hideous looking that they couldn't get laid if it smacked them in the face 6 times. Pathetic if you ask me.