Real Life vs. Internet life

[Msterbeau]

So... I've heard people say in these forums and others that "This is just the internet,, blah blah, don't get so upset.. blah, blah... I say what I want because who cares... blah, blah..."

Some of the threats and drama online are just amazing to me.

But really.. Would you say a lot of what you say here to people's faces? And is there not a human life at the other keyboard? Does that person not deserve a reasonable amount of consideration and respect, whether you agree with their point of view or not?

I think this is similar to how we behave in cars. We're in isolated compartments and conveniently forget to be considerate of others. Road rage anyone? Again... Would you do and say things in a car if you were face to face in your living room?

There are a couple ancient online communities that actually require you to use your real name. Because of this, they are closed communities so that information isn't available to just anyone. On the other hand, there's no hiding behind an anonymous screen name. And because of that, they are far more civil places to have a discussion.

Personally, I think if you treat this all as a game and an amusement, then go play a game or go to the fair... People's emotions and lives are neither games nor amusements. Which doesn't mean we shouldn't allow fun and humor, but that we should always consider that there are real people behind the words on the screen.

[JaneDead]

But really.. Would you say a lot of what you say here to people's faces? And is there not a human life at the other keyboard? Does that person not deserve a reasonable amount of consideration and respect, whether you agree with their point of view or not?

most definately. i would say what i type here. but over all i am shy and don't say much so i guess i am safe

[Msterbeau]

most definately. i would say what i type here. but over all i am shy and don't say much so i guess i am safe

You're not who I'm venting at...

[Homicidalheathen]

most people are chicken shit in person when it comes to threats

[JaneDead]

You're not who I'm venting at...

this, i know

i just wanted to add my 2 cents.

because i do try to always be considerate to people online and in person.

i don't treat it as "it's just the internet so who cares"

i do care. always.

i don't see a difference.

you are a person to me whether you are in front of me or in front of your computer.

[Oh_My_Goth]

I do not get offended.....

I do not intentionally offend.....

This is still real life, people just get to hide behind a computer in an online community.....

That makes some people grow an extra large pair and be dicks.....

[know_buddy_kares]

I actually like this thread topic you started alot... hmm where to begin....

I have an idea if you will, the horrible reality of what the average person really is hiding behind a faceless mask under anomity...

Most people are total assholes when there's an impression that they won't get caught for their actions simply because you cannot tell them from the next couple of assholes...

There's also certain forums where everyone posts anonymously, you literally cannot tell who's posting what, as every post says "Posted by Anonymous"

It's an idea that people are more civil in personal relations when their true identity is known for fear of the concequences, yet when they're able to hide behind the mask of anonymity, it's usually amongst others seeming just as anonymous, such as driving in cars, so they generally tend to be ruder, more abrasive, and just down right sociopathic sometimes.

My Idea is tribe mentality, we all have our own circle of family and friends, that we look out for and care for. And we aren't really there to help the strangers as they're in a "competing tribe" look at highschool pride rallies, and their sports events, highschools get really competitive with one another, even clicks in highschool get competitive and hostile. So this could be one answer.

As for the internet, and whether or not someone should take something seriously or not, really i think it depends on where you go. Here at DGN, since almost everyone knows everyone on some form of a personal level, it tends to be alot more civil. Yes I know I can be blunt and outspoken, but also I can be the same way IRL too if someone says something just outright stupid and obnoxious. I also get really bad if someone's attacking any of my friends in anyway. That's just me personally though. So an insult here on DGN just might as well be an insult to the face irl.

However in other areas of the internet, I really don't care if some random asshole I don't even know tries talking shit to me, I'm probably bored anyway and find it a great opportunity to burn him back and make a fool out of him then display it publicly for trying to start such faggotry, or if i'm not in the mood, I just hit the block button to not be harassed by such faggotry, however it's not gonna hurt my feelings, it's someone I don't know, so they obviously don't know me, and they're nothing to me ontop of that, they're words are meaningless to me other than an opportunity to get a cheap bit of entertainment out of trolling them back. Myspace is a good example of that type of drama, random asshole doesn't like my profile, and tries to poke fun at me with lame insults. Why should anyone care?

You mentioned certain online comunities that if you're a part of, you're identity is real just as if you're actually there, so of course people are going to be more civil, in a way it's like being a part of a certain tribe, group of friends, or family in some odd way.

Now lets go to the oppsoite end, and go to one of the forum boards where every post is anonymous, you can't tell who's on, who's posting what, or how many people are online... but let me tell you it's often in the thousands. And when you see just what a person can turn into on there, crule vile sociopath ways... it can make you wonder if there really is that side in you. I think there is honestly, both the nice warm personal persona, and the cold selfish uncaring persona both exist in everyone.

Both must be fed too in my opinion. If you deny the cold uncaring monster inside you... it will get tricky and come out in other ways. The most dangerous evil is the evil that is ignored in one's soul.

These dualities cannot exist together in the same room metaphorically speaking, however one cannot exist without the other. Oppressive religions are a prime example of how out of hand this monster can get if denied or ignored by the people.

So if you find yourself getting offended by what a random asshole says online, you really need to evaluate yourself. But if it's in an online comunity that's a bit more personal... well then it's a different story.

But in closing thought, the internet is like a bunch of automobile drivers, you gotta buck up and grow a thicker skin, cuz there's always going to be that one asshole that does something rude to you. It's just the way of life, it's unavoidable online or in real life.

[Miranda]

I am fully aware and keep at the top of my head that some one else is going to read what I wrote every time I post. Sometimes you may tone down or curb what you are feeling on certain topics and images that people freely post in order to keep civility and and amount of composure. That's my rule, what other people do, is their business. They are the one's who end up looking like heartless assholes. The people who say they don't care are usually the ones that do. They are also usually the ones screaming that they don't want to be judged but do the same thing the first chance they get. Hypocrites is what they are only they don't know it.

If I don't comment on a subject, it is probably because I know exactly where it may go, to drama and I will walk away from it. It's just not that important for me to be "right" or to show my ass, I don't really give a fuck. It's easy to be rude online or in real life but I choose not to be. If I am personally attacked on here, I will respond probably once and let it go.

This board is local and someday I may see a person from here just in the store going about my day. Do I really want to be remembered as the obnoxious and or stupid bitch from DGN? No. Again, I am 100% who I am in person on here. I am not masking anything of my real personality but I may not always let a person know every part of me because it can be used against you later, especially on a local board. I've seen it happen to other people from different cities on their local goth boards.

It's foolish to assume you are going to be treated with decency and respect, the world just doesn't work that way.

Though I would like to say that the vast majority of people on here are very nice people.

[JaneDead]

I am not masking anything of my real personality but I may not always let a person know every part of me because it can be used against you later, especially on a local board.

so true.

in my case something was MADE UP ABOUT ME once by a person or 2... not sure who else shared this information but when i heard it i was kind of shocked considering i didn't even KNOW the one person (at the time) and the other i don't know why they would make it up, if indeed they did make it up and it was not the person telling me who made it up....

i guess that is a different topic all together, but in a way it goes along with faking it online or being shitty.

what was said about me was SHITTY and false and no idea where anyone got off saying that stupid shit in the first place.

those people don't know shit about me to make up crap in the first place

[Msterbeau]

If I don't comment on a subject, it is probably because I know exactly where it may go, to drama and I will walk away from it. It's just not that important for me to be "right" or to show my ass, I don't really give a fuck. It's easy to be rude online or in real life but I choose not to be. If I am personally attacked on here, I will respond probably once and let it go.

I think it's a good point that editing yourself and restricting what you comment doesn't make you any less "you". I'm pretty sure it's a sign of maturity that you pick your battles and refrain from being an ass because the topic affects you strongly.

[tanuki1985]

This is a good topic, Msterbeau.

Yes, people seem to think that they're anonymous when they're on the Internet. It's the same phenomenon that we encounter in road rage.

As KBK said, DGN isn't as bad as other forums since a lot of the people on here actually know each other in person. Of course, that doesn't mean that it's 100% free of occasional morons.

99.999% of the time, I stay away from debates because they usually turn into flamewars anyway. I used to think they were funny, but now I just think it's annoying. I know we have a few good debaters on here, and that's what I was like on other forums in the past. After a while, however, I realized that arguing on the Internet is futile since others usually regress and start name-calling. Also, no matter how much you try to prove your point, the other person is not going to change their mind anyway. That's why these days, I usually don't get too involved in forums and make huge posts.

Oh, the Internet is such an interesting place...

[know_buddy_kares]

yeah i kinda noticed that too... irl people don't dig their heels in as much with their opinions... on here... people get stubborn as mules in a heated argument. I actually prefer it when posts are kept inbetween a discussion and debate rather than a debate-argument...

Debate-Arguments.. man those pesky things get me in trouble.. cuz someone's gonna get insulting.. then I gotta bust out my bag of jackassery and get myself busted by the mods.

[creatureofthenyte]

My real name is Brian Maxwell.

I see no reason to be afraid to share that.

When I signed up on DGN, I came up with COTN because it sounded unique and appropo to me.

I too am the same here as I am in real life.

If I lived out there, you would see this.

I don't pretend to be anything.

I am me & wysiwyg.

[JaneDead]

bang bang maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head....

that "all anon" message board sounds kind of... scary. and evil.

[creatureofthenyte]

bang bang maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head....

that "all anon" message board sounds kind of... scary. and evil.

[know_buddy_kares]

bang bang maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head....

that "all anon" message board sounds kind of... scary. and evil.

yeah you don't want to go there unless you can tolerate ANY kind of sick shit a person can come up with in the name of toilet humor..

however if you may have saw some scientology protests in england on some news thing, and you saw a bunch of idiots wearing afros and V for Vendetta masks (Guy Faux masks)

that would be the anonymous i'm talking about sorta.. but those retards ruined those forums for at least a year now..

way back when... it used to be somewhat alright.

[JaneDead]

yeah you don't want to go there unless you can tolerate ANY kind of sick shit a person can come up with in the name of toilet humor..

i can tolerate a lot. just don't think i'd want to ... since i don't have to ...

[Msterbeau]

yeah you don't want to go there unless you can tolerate ANY kind of sick shit a person can come up with in the name of toilet humor..

however if you may have saw some scientology protests in england on some news thing, and you saw a bunch of idiots wearing afros and V for Vendetta masks (Guy Faux masks)

that would be the anonymous i'm talking about sorta.. but those retards ruined those forums for at least a year now..

way back when... it used to be somewhat alright.

There are good reasons for anon posting - Take people in countries like China for instance. Allows them to talk about what's REALLY going on without being identified and targeted by authorities. But otherwise... it just seems to be used as an excuse to be a jerk.

[Msterbeau]

i can tolerate a lot.

How many marshmallows and twinkies before you crack?

[JaneDead]

How many marshmallows and twinkies before you crack?

ha!

[aequorea]

I think I am a little more forward in this setting. That's due in part to the fact that this seems to be, in general, a very tolerant and eclectic group. I'm sure that the anonymity also plays a part though - it's easier to post a comment than to say something face to face.

That's all connected to revealing things about myself though, things that I normally keep hidden in daily life. Regardless of setting, I always try to be respectful of others. If I really think someone is an asshole, then I ignore them - well, unless they're picking on someone else.

I do have to say, though...

I met the DGN crowd for the first time last Saturday, and it was not what I expected at all! Two people introduced themselves by kissing me - and not a peck on the cheek, either! - and one introduced herself by grabbing my ass... my mind is still reeling...

[Oh_My_Goth]

I think I am a little more forward in this setting. That's due in part to the fact that this seems to be, in general, a very tolerant and eclectic group. I'm sure that the anonymity also plays a part though - it's easier to post a comment than to say something face to face.

That's all connected to revealing things about myself though, things that I normally keep hidden in daily life. Regardless of setting, I always try to be respectful of others. If I really think someone is an asshole, then I ignore them - well, unless they're picking on someone else.

I do have to say, though...

I met the DGN crowd for the first time last Saturday, and it was not what I expected at all! Two people introduced themselves by kissing me - and not a peck on the cheek, either! - and one introduced herself by grabbing my ass... my mind is still reeling...

We are a friendly bunch of misfits.....

[aequorea]

We are a friendly bunch of misfits.....

the next morning i didn't know what to think...

but, well.... i'm coming back next week for more!!!

[Oh_My_Goth]

the next morning i didn't know what to think...

but, well.... i'm coming back next week for more!!!

They always come back for more.....

[Msterbeau]

I met the DGN crowd for the first time last Saturday, and it was not what I expected at all! Two people introduced themselves by kissing me - and not a peck on the cheek, either! - and one introduced herself by grabbing my ass... my mind is still reeling...

You got off lightly..