Dating A Person With Children

[twiztid_mind08]

It doesn't really matter to me I'm dating a chick right now that has a kid I mean the kid loves me to death! I mean if you love her enough to take part in her child's life that's really special and it will make her feel special to know that se has a man the will actually give her kid a father figure.

[CatsEyeOfTheWiccan]

I have had many relenships that had kids. I was open minded. I treated their kids like my very own.

-CatsEye

[Daevion]

I avoid it like most plagues....

[punk_princess]

There is nothing wrong with dating someone with kids.

[phee]

It (like any and all dating) really depends on the circumstance

[Bernadette]

At least you get to see what kind of parent s/he is...

[DarkChylde]

It can be a pain, but not because of the kids.

My first fiance...the Brit...had two kids...which I adored, and got along with famously. However...things got complex when their dad tried to play the same games that they played with me..like Trouble..hide-n-seek, etc...and they refused to play them with him because he "didn't make it fun like Dave does"...yeah...that put her under alot of stress, because he accused her of dating me just to get the kids to stop loving him (yes...he was that shallow). I have ment for that to happen.

and then one of my last relationships...she just had lots of problems...and wanted me to stay around FOR her little girls sake, because I was more of a "stable figure" in her life then her real father....and I told her no...that it wasn't right to the child. And then I got this whole speech about "how do you know whats right for a child when your past gf's all killed any kid you'd ever have"..yeah...that hurt. I finally told her that she needed to stop talking about getting high more then she does her own kid...which she did...she talked about getting high more then she talked about her daughter....it's turned my stomach.

Funny, my one ex who has a son, she was a major pill-popper. Looks like her and your ex needs to become friends LOL.

I pretty much gotten out of a relationship with someone who had multiple kids. All I can say is, it gave me a major bad experience. I guess its a good thing I dont get into relationships period no more because im never going through that again.

[thewhiterecluse]

I don't mind but it is schedual conflicting if you choose to live with the person. It also depends on what the parent is looking for, a fatherly or motherly figure or just a lover. Either way any good person who ended up marrying the other would love the children as if they were their own. It makes it hard on the child and parent to not have both parents, especially when they see other kids with both and how "perfect" they make it seem and rub it in. I have alot of friends who grew up with only one parent and most of them felt like an outsider and got into trouble when the teen years came around. It can work but it makes it easier if there is someone who is willing to accept the children as if they were their own and to love them the same if they have their own.

Plus kids generally get up very early and unless you're a morning person or don't mind not getting much sleep it can be difficult. My friend Jeremy lived with his girlfriend Amanda whom had 2 kids and he worked over night. Her parents could never watch the kids and it made it difficult for Jeremy to get sleep because the kids had to be up early and would come jumping on their bed at like 6 AM. Jeremy would get off of work around 2AM. At the time he was the only one with a car so he had to drive them to the daycare around 7:30 while Amanda would go to work and he would try to go back to sleep. He had to drive Amanda to work at 9AM and be at work 6PM. Amanda got off around 5PM. They both had very different schedual's but they did try to make it work.

The best thing to do is to find someone who is on a similiar schedual with or without kids but either way it does make it more difficult. Also unless there is a babysitter it makes it hard to go out at night and have fun so be ready for the sacrifice. I mean there's other things to do for fun like go to the park, go see a family movie, go out to eat, go to a theme park, ect. You just have to find alternative ways to have fun. Staying at home and playing board games, puzzles, can be fun or doing art projects. It just depends on your definition of fun. So it just depends if you are willing to adjust yourself or not to the change.

[Michiko_Dreads]

I dated a guy with a child and it was hell.

I will never date another person with children.

Not my cup of tea.

[graverobber]

It's alright, though not looking for it specifically.

I am really tired of the 'child worship' of American culture

and don't want to participate in any kids being raised 'American'

that's all, go play with knives in the backyard!

[tanuki1985]

I can understand where those with kids are coming from, really. I do feel bad for single people with kids who find it difficult to date. If I had a kid, I'd be very upset too. I truly sympathize with you.

On the other hand, though, you should understand why some people choose not to date others with kids. Personally, I would not want to date someone with kids because I feel that it just adds too many complications (then again, I find that dating someone in general can lead to unnecessary complications). I feel concerned that the kid would either think I'm his mom or resent me because I'm not his mom, and I don't want that. Plus, I like to do certain things, like spend time alone, talk, leave the house whenever I/we feel like it, "fool around," and other things... and kids can seriously get in the way of all that. I wouldn't want to have a kid of my own or be with someone with a kid because kids would prevent me from doing some of the things that I like to do. Call me selfish, but I'm really not a kid person. I know that some of you don't mind having kids around, and I think that's awesome... but I am not the motherly type. I have a ton of kids in my family and work around kids, so I get enough of them and I can only take them in limited doses, like when I visit a friend with a kid or when my nephews and nieces visit. I could go on with the list of complications that kids can add, but most of that has already been covered in this thread.

In my own life, I have found that dating people with kids can add all kinds of BS. I have never dated someone with kids, but my dad did right after divorcing our mom when I was in high school. First he dated a lady with kids who were adults, so that didn't cause a problem. Right after her, however, he dated a lady with two kids aged 10 and 12. It was frickin' awful for all of us -- we suddenly had to live with these rotten kids, and I can honestly say that those kids made my dad and his new wife fight way more than my parents ever did. I feel that had it not been for those kids and their rebellious ways, my dad would probably still be happily married because they got along great until it came time to argue about her kids. I know that my younger brothers and I didn't cause it, because we were teens and we kept to ourselves in those days. Before he married her (and essentially her kids), we were happy despite the divorce.

Some people don't mind dating people with kids, and I don't see a problem with that at all. If you can handle it, then by all means, feel free to do it! Those of you with children shouldn't be concerned because there are obviously people out there who won't let kids get in the way if they truly care about YOU.

It's just not my cup of tea, that's all.

I give kudos to those of you who are childless and tried dating people with kids, like DarkChylde and MichikoDreads. It shows that you are brave and that you wouldn't let kids get in the way of being with someone who you cared about at one point. Hell, I couldn't even bring myself to try dating someone with a kid. I'm sorry that it ended up not working out in the end for both of you, though.

[SaGa]

basicly the demographics show you will have 80% less chance(visual evaluation, not exact) of hooking up with a dgner who has kids vrs does not.....makes for a hard time even finding a prospect to date. i can see why some people are desperate to even keep lovers that are underpar based on societies standards of living and morals. now the next question, does having kids with the lowered demographics, unless the kids happen to be old enough 7+ mean you will resort to lowering your standards to accually get into the dating world? to be put into the undateble bin bye most peoples definitions, which could lead to just staying single for many of years

[punk_princess]

What is it with certain people acting like you are a bad person just because you have a child. Big deal. Personally I think that anyone with that sort of attitude is a bad person cause that sort of thinking is just plain childish & stupid.

[Black Jack (1)]

Truth be told I have dated countless women wit kids and the simple fact they would ever be a burden is preposterous. Any relationship is a plus when you can simply enjoy each others company. Knowing that there is some who would incriminate women for such a matter as this eludes my dignity. Shallow characters are a many and holds no truths in relationships in for any mater. Vile as this may be just goes to show some more often then not certain people aren't ready for father or mother hood, but don't take it against them.

[TygerLili]

This entire thread is annoying me today for some reason.

[SaGa]

Truth be told I have dated countless women wit kids and the simple fact they would ever be a burden is preposterous. Any relationship is a plus when you can simply enjoy each others company. Knowing that there is some who would incriminate women for such a matter as this eludes my dignity. Shallow characters are a many and holds no truths in relationships in for any mater. Vile as this may be just goes to show some more often then not certain people aren't ready for father or mother hood, but don't take it against them.

agreed, im fine dating anybody who has a son or daughter. but this issue goes away with age with most people. those who date in there 30s are much more fine with kids then those in there 20s. its more the thought of settling down that scares people. the sacrifice of your youthful freedom you have in your 20s. but thats just a big illusion in a young persons mind.

the biggest deal breaker i find is the issue of drugs, or over the top drinking. thats the one big issue i have, drinking at city is fine, every day getting drunk, or taking chem drugs, or smoking pot like your life depended on it. thats the lifestyle i try to avoid.

[SaGa]

What is it with certain people acting like you are a bad person just because you have a child. Big deal. Personally I think that anyone with that sort of attitude is a bad person cause that sort of thinking is just plain childish & stupid.

i was just saying that with less options people are inclined to lower standards to give them options. this could be applied to just about anything in the world. its pretty general, and its human nature.

[JaneDead]

It is more exhausting to date children in adult bodies.

god, isn't that the truth!

[Sexy_Asian_Reaper]

well i now have a child now and a wonderful husband but if your gonna say you won't date someone with a child even if you two are a perfect match then screw you.

isn't dating about love and connection? if you feel that and have a child so what you can still be with them

[Guest greyhalo]

People with children seem to be getting awfully defensive in this thread. I can understand to a point, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Some people just don't want to deal with kids, and that should be respected. Others have no problem dating someone with children. Different people like different lifestyles. But, the fact that someone doesn't want to deal with children in a relationship does not mean that they are immature or a bad person.

[peelingchrome]

People with children seem to be getting awfully defensive in this thread. I can understand to a point, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Some people just don't want to deal with kids, and that should be respected. Others have no problem dating someone with children. Different people like different lifestyles. But, the fact that someone doesn't want to deal with children in a relationship does not mean that they are immature or a bad person.

I second that. I'm not opposed to dating someone with children. If everything is in place, kids aren't a problem at all. But when I lay awake at night dreaming of my perfect partner, it's one without kids that I can have some with in the future. Just a personal preference, here.

[TygerLili]

People with children seem to be getting awfully defensive in this thread. I can understand to a point, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Some people just don't want to deal with kids, and that should be respected. Others have no problem dating someone with children. Different people like different lifestyles. But, the fact that someone doesn't want to deal with children in a relationship does not mean that they are immature or a bad person.

+1

There are many personal freedoms that one need give up(like staying out all night and getting trashed on a regular basis) in order to have children. Dating someone who doesn't want children is one of them. The enjoyment one gets out of raising their children should be more important. No one can have everything.

[tanuki1985]

People with children seem to be getting awfully defensive in this thread. I can understand to a point, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Some people just don't want to deal with kids, and that should be respected. Others have no problem dating someone with children. Different people like different lifestyles. But, the fact that someone doesn't want to deal with children in a relationship does not mean that they are immature or a bad person.

+1

Exactly. Everyone is entitled to live their life in whatever way he or she chooses. You want kids? Cool. You want to date someone with kids? Cool. You don't want kids, nor do you want to date someone with kids? Cool. I respect everyone for whatever decisions they make in their own lives.

[Homicidalheathen]

my husband is not my kids father in blood, it turned out better, so dont give up hope if your searching

that being said

its so fun TORMENTING adult kids to get them to move out

i did the MOM WILL NOW BE NAKEY FOREVER

(it works lol)

This guy, just hooked up with the love of his life at 47 grandkids and all....he just did the blow job in the kitchen with the step child (23) catching them and exclaiming 'oh god, THATS DISGUSTING!!'

i told him to let her catch him all over the house, she'll move out in noooo time

thoughts of parental juices do it everytime lol

[Guest Megalicious]

In all honesty it doesn't bother me the slightest that someone wouldn't want to date me due to my son, its their choice and I respect that, but it's their loss. I'm beautiful, intelligent and can be very giving in a relationship. If they want to pass up the possibility of having a meaningful relationship because of my son, like I said its their choice.

I still feel the same