Dating A Person With Children

[Miranda]

Do you avoid dating people with a child? Many men I know won't seriously date a woman who has a child. If you don't ever consider dating people with children could you state the reasons why? I usually get the same response from men: "I don't want to be responsible or to feel in any way shape of form responsible for another man's child." Women I know will tell me that they don't want the possible dramatics of the child's mother always being a possibility.

[phee]

*no comment*

[Shade Everdark]

I tend to avoid it, mostly because I have an instinctual aversion to children, in particular very young kids.

Add to that the fact that I don't think I have nearly the kind of responsibility it would take to help out with a child and that pretty much seals the deal.

If I were a little more inclined to like children, I don't see that it would be a huge problem for me.

[Msterbeau]

I've dated women with and without. There is certainly an extra level or two of complication to dating a person with children vs. those without. To be perfectly honest, my preference is for someone without. Relationships can be challenging enough all by themselves. I really noticed it with my last serious girlfriend. No kids, no pets... life was simple and I really enjoyed it. That said, I rarely allow it to overide a decision to be with someone. It would be pretty hypocritical of me, a father of two, to refuse to date someone because THEY had children.

[Homicidalheathen]

I got lucky and met someone who wanted more kids...

Also I was willing to date someone with children...I think it is more common if you already have some of your own...or want some.

Dated 3 people with kids before I got married. Never a problem for me. Coarse the one guy I lived with for a while had a sweet lil kid and we got along great...if they are brats and have major issues they can be pretty resentful of a new parent coming in and 'telling them what to do' and that can get messy

[Guest Megalicious]

I am a single mother. When I choose to date, it will not be for someone to be the father of my child/father like figure, he already has a wonderful, loving and awesome daddy!

In all honesty it doesn't bother me the slightest that someone wouldn't want to date me due to my son, its there choice and I respect that, but it's there loss. I'm beautiful, intelligent and can be very giving in a relationship. If they want to pass up the possibility of having a meaningful relationship because of my son, like I said its their choice.

I wouldn't mind dating someone else with kids. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

It can be a pain, but not because of the kids.

My first fiance...the Brit...had two kids...which I adored, and got along with famously. However...things got complex when their dad tried to play the same games that they played with me..like Trouble..hide-n-seek, etc...and they refused to play them with him because he "didn't make it fun like Dave does"...yeah...that put her under alot of stress, because he accused her of dating me just to get the kids to stop loving him (yes...he was that shallow). I have ment for that to happen.

and then one of my last relationships...she just had lots of problems...and wanted me to stay around FOR her little girls sake, because I was more of a "stable figure" in her life then her real father....and I told her no...that it wasn't right to the child. And then I got this whole speech about "how do you know whats right for a child when your past gf's all killed any kid you'd ever have"..yeah...that hurt. I finally told her that she needed to stop talking about getting high more then she does her own kid...which she did...she talked about getting high more then she talked about her daughter....it's turned my stomach.

[Der Nister]

Done it and it's never worked out for the good so now I try to avoid it.

[Rev.Reverence]

No worries here...if I like someone..kids won't get in the way.

[phee]

No worries here...if I like someone..kids won't get in the way.

Unless they tackle you and say.... "DON'T TOUCH OUR MOMMY"

[torn asunder]

i would date someone with kids, however i would not start a long-term relationship with someone who had kids, (or eventually wanted them) for the simple reason that i never want (what to me, would be) the burden of raising children. i have absolutely no desire to have kids of my own, and i don't want to have to schedule/work around somebody else's kids. more power to those who do, but it's just not for me...

[creatureofthenyte]

Ive done it, twice.

I'm not currently interested in dating anyone at this point in time

To answer your question Miranda, would I date another single mom ?

Probably not.

If the stars were aligned properly, then yeah maybe it could work, but I'm jaded.

Jaded from experience, and thats tough to get over.

[SaGa]

not wanting kids in this generation seems to be popular. if a temporary way of becoming sterile through surgery was possible and cheap enough id do it, also with no huge hormone sideeffects. i have 1 kid but i really dont want anymore. well not now.

for the population to double it take 4 kids from a mother, to retain staus quo 2. but our population shouldnt get any bigger, its allready consuming to much for the planet to maintain

fossil fuels is the only reason where surviving at this level. without that our crops whouldnt last as we have overreeped them to the point where our food comes from fuel more then the sun itself. the green revolution(not that green) of incressing food production using amonia among other things as created a dependence on that. and we cant go back to using good ol fashion pre 20th century farming

that is why i hate them useing corn for fuel. when to grow the damn stuff takes fuel. plus the net gain for that biofuel is a lot less then sugarcain. its a lower grade fuel in general

[TitsMcGee]

Now see I've never dated a guy with a child, and if he had one I wouldn't care. I love kids, and eventually I want my own. I would actually be a mom now, but I had a miscarriage. I can see it from both sides of the spectrum though. I know people who think children are the devil who never want their own and the thought of having to live with them turns their stomach. But there are people who genuinely wouldn't care if there was a child if they cared about the person enough. I do agree with Saga on a few things, there is major over population issues in the world today. I grew up with kids up north who were one of 10-12 kids, because it's a farming community. There is no need to pop out that many babies, no matter how much of a good catholic you are.

[Nienna]

My injstinctive answer would be "no way man!!! Yikes!" but lately that is calming down quite a bit. I don't like children much but lately my friends children (think well behaved, clean, smart children) are enchanting me alittle. My reproductive system is a war zone so I'm pretty sure the only way to get kids for me will be to date / marry into them. LOL Sooooo my mind is opening, slowly. For now though I think it would still be a no, unless I was VERY into the person.

[phee]

It is more exhausting to date children in adult bodies.

WISDOM

[Reaper]

I have dated and still would date women with a kid or two, but not much more than that. The trend that I have noticed is that the female would put all her energy into her kids and not put much attention to the guy. That is also what I have noted from women on their blogs. I think if you would like to be with someone you have to split the attention to each side, but it just seems like to me that women are not willing to split it. You either have to deal with getting little attention or leave.

[hunhee]

Procreation for me is something that I've ruled out completely (before it was by choice, now it's healthwise). I've never really desired to have kids of my own, not that I don't like kids, they're enchanting, and endearing, and when they smile, they melt away everything that is bad, and make the world not such a terrible place. The more exposure I have to my friends kids, the more I try to rationalize magic in the world, and makes me re-evaluate my stance.

That said, it all depends on the person. I would only date someone who took the fathering responsibility extremely seriously. I'm not a very high maintenance type of person, and I would much prefer that the dad keep their children in the number 1 priority position. Any guy (to me) who didn't do that, I would completely rule out.

I don't know why, but kids have always gravitated towards me. I'm always the "fun adult". I much rather hang and jump on the trampoline, playing catch, board games, picking berries etc. I once had an extremely intense game of Jenga with a 6 year old... he beat me. :/ Their simple complexity, and veridical honesty usually impresses the hell outta me.

No 1 reason why not being a mom was by choice..

Fear of not being a good enough mom.

That's why I prefer renta-kid.

[jynxxxedangel]

I absolutely ADORE children, so they are a plus to me.

[MyViolentMachine]

i've done it, I don't really prefer it. Really it would depend on what they would be looking for. I have no intentions to be playing daddy (maybe ever) especially to a child that is not one that I have raised. For now "uncle" works just fine.

[TygerLili]

Never dated anyone with kids, at least that I know of, lol. I wouldn't have a problem with casually dating someone with kids, that is one or two from a previous relationship or marriage, not a handful of kids with different mothers, which would be an automatic no, but I would have to think long and hard about getting serious about someone with kids. My inclination would be to say "No way" and everything else would have to really fall into place for me to consider it.

I, too, don't want children of my own. I like children well enough if they are reasonably well behaved, but I like turning them back over to their parents when they start acting up. Dating someone with children, it seems, makes everything more complicated. You always come second to your SO's children, and I'm not saying it should be any other way, but I'm not sure I'm selfless enough to live with that situation on a full-time basis for children that aren't even mine.

Also, my parents got divorced when I was a year old, and my mom started seeing this guy who I absolutely hated. Still do, actually, but for different reasons. I didn't want him around and did everything I could to break them up, and to make his life hell. I'd hate to be that person.

[ManicQueen]

Since I have two kids and I am unable to have any more, I found it kinda hard to date someone without children. They may say that they don't want any kids now but it still bothers me that one day they might change their mind and then what? It can't be with me! How do you deal with something like this?

That's one thing that has always been an issue for me.

[peelingchrome]

I've never dated anyone with children, although I'm open to it. I want kids of my own one day, but I think that I'd like them to be my own. I guess right now, I'd say that I'd be hesitant but willing.

[Slept with ghost]

I've done it once before and when we broke up it wasn't as much the loss of the relationship with the girlfriend that as it was the loss of the relationship with her son.

[punk_princess]

Im a single mom & its definately hard when it comes to dating. The biggest reason is that most guys assume that I am trying to find a dad for my daughter, which is completely untrue. My daughter's sperm donor has never been in her life but my dad helps me with her and acts as the father figure/male role model in her life. When I date someone its for me and me alone. I don't think that its right for someone not to date me based on the fact that I have a child.

I would definately date someone with kids and/or wanted one of their own in the future cause I would like to have another child a few years down the road.