Tomcat Philosophises On Love.

[TomCat]

Love is like a knife fight. No matter who wins, everyone loses. Someone always gets cut up in the end.

Hearts best intentions are spilled onto the pavement, dry up, and blow away.

To survive is to insullate. To insullate is to isolate. And isolation is a slow death. But at least you get to choose your terms.

[Black Sunday9]

what happened?

[JaneDead]

i don't agree. i don't believe love has to be that way. if it is that way, and it is always that way- then there is a problem that is being overlooked.

even when i have "loved and lost" i don't feel that i really did. i got something out of the experience.

and now i am married, 6 years. believe me we have really rough spots. i mean some REALLY rough spots. but i love him. he loves me. we will make it work every time. every time we go through something rough, we are closer together in the end. EVERY time. it has made me even appreciate the tough times sometimes. and it has made me appreciate HIM more. i have wanted to give up, i really have. but pulled myself back in and thought - no way. i love this man. we have a family. i want to be with him. and it will work. and it does.

[TomCat]

No one said you had to agree. Just my thoughts, based on my experiences. Which may have sucked, but don't seem far from universal.

[torn asunder]

A winter’s day

In a deep and dark december;

I am alone,

Gazing from my window to the streets below

On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

I’ve built walls,

A fortress deep and mighty,

That none may penetrate.

I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.

It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

Don’t talk of love,

But I’ve heard the words before;

It’s sleeping in my memory.

I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.

If I never loved I never would have cried.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

I have my books

And my poetry to protect me;

I am shielded in my armor,

Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.

I touch no one and no one touches me.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;

And an island never cries.

- simon & garfunkel

[Head Wreck]

love can be like that.

but a well trained sword arm can keep other daggers at bay, leving everyone unhurt.

personaly i've lost bitterly most of the time. but i found 2 women who to this day give me strength, not in thier love for me, that doesnt exist, but my love for them.

[Nienna]

That pretty much sums up my experience.. it'll be a long time before I let myself fall in love again... or stop loving the person I still do..

[paradox]

is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

pain is what tells you youre still alive.

what is the worth of a life without challenge? without pain? without loss?

how can one know what happiness or joy or love is, without knowing sadness, anger and pain? how can you feel accomplshed if you never had to struggle?

what is good without bad?

yes it hurts to lose something, to lose love or have your feelings hurt. but try to imagine if you never felt any of that in the 1st place. would you really want that void of emotion? isnt it the experiences of life, good and bad, the emotions we feel, positive and negative, that make us human?

to be human is to suffer. life is not perfect. or perhaps we have the wrong idea of perfection. perfection is all-encompassing. it is everything. to be perfect is to be perfect in all things, even imperfection. hence it is impossible, a paradox ( ) perfectly imperfect? we long for a happily-ever-after. we have been sadly mislead. there is no happily-ever-after, only an endless string of tomorrows, each as challenging and uncertain as the last. life has no guarantees, holds no promise, save that of endless struggle and, ultimately, an end.

searching for love is one of those struggles we all face every day. but we need to be careful to consider what we are looking for. dont let socially ingrained ideals fool you. no love is pure, true or everlasting. no love is easy or magical or perfect. dont look for a love that is going to sweep you off your feet and carry you away into the happily-ever-after, it doesnt exist. look for the love that is built brick by brick, with many cuts and scrapes along the way. the love that is worked on every day. thats is the love worth having.

and dont be too disappointed if it one day falls over. that happens too. nothing lasts forever.

[Msterbeau]

Don't you have anything better to do on such a beautiful day... ?? Forget people or your ex's .... enjoy nature Tommy boy... :grin

[TomCat]

I'm thoroughly enjoying my day off. No work, took the dog for a walk, and solitude. Joyous day it's been.

[paradox]

Don't you have anything better to do on such a beautiful day... ??  Forget  people or your ex's .... enjoy nature Tommy boy...  :grin

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

dude! its a goth board, we shun daylight and love angst! :laughing

[TomCat]

dude! its a goth board, we shun daylight and love angst! :laughing

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

here Here!

[Brenda Starrr]

Baltimore is rainy right now. It looks quite goth..

[TomCat]

It's getting a lil cloudy here too, but Nightfall will surely bring about a change.

[JaneDead]

No one said you had to agree.  Just my thoughts, based on my experiences.  Which may have sucked, but don't seem far from universal.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

oh no i know you weren't. just saying i really don't think love is that bad or that love shouldn't be that bad. love is a good thing, not a bad thing. and if it is always bad- something somewhere is wrong. =(

[Brenda Starrr]

I would like to quote an age-old song for you. Maybe it will inspire you to believe in love again:

Love, exciting and new

Come aboard, We're expecting you

And love won't hurt anymore

It's an open smile on a friendly shore

"The Love Boat"

[Onyx]

Oh no! No no no! Now that's stuck in my head. Somebody help!

[Brenda Starrr]

ROFL

Is that anything like "penis flute organ?"

[Steven]

Love is easy once you learn and accept your place in it. It's life that is sometimes hard. I just had my 19th wedding annivesary - wouldent trade her for anything - including "freedom".

I'm just a sucker for a good thing (so I work hard to keep it that way).

Steven

[Msterbeau]

dude! its a goth board, we shun daylight and love angst! :laughing

I never really thought of myself as a goth... just a freak. :grin

[mallochai]

That pretty much sums up my experience.. it'll be a long time before I let myself fall in love again... or stop loving the person I still do..

Ditto that, lady.

I've been in another funk today. I have good days, and then days where I cry a lot and think about how I can change things so we could work it out... even though I know that'll never happen, it shouldn't happen, I shouldn't want it to happen. But I think about it. It's like... I had this fantasy, then it became a reality, then it crash landed somewhere along the way for reasons which still aren't really apparent to me. I know I should just let it be, try to move on, try not to be a mean and sad person about it... but it hurts, and I just want to go back to when things felt good again. :tear

ugh... tangent.

Anyway... I know love can be a wondrous and amazing thing that makes you happy and full of light and hope, etc. But losing it feels like someone is slowly electrocuting every one of my cells till they burn in unison without really dying.

How do we make the pain stop?

[Black Sunday9]

How do we make the pain stop?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

get an xbox.

[Steven]

get an xbox.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

by building a relationship with a healthy set of expectations, where both parties have a role to play in it's life. But "building" is a pro-active verb......one cannot simply expect to be treated with value, to be handed respect, and to be prioritized before self....right out of the gate, or even years intot he relationship - just because love is there. In fact to me, love is best defined in the actions spent - I think sometimes we've been taugh ta very shallow idea of what love is....

Steven

[Jarodaka]

I've loved and lost and very glad I did. Sex is awesome. I've also learned important relationship-y things that will make my future attempt(s?) more fruitful for both of us.

[Onyx]

by building a relationship with a healthy set of expectations, where both parties have a role to play in it's life.  But "building" is a pro-active verb......one cannot simply expect to be treated with value, to be handed respect, and to be prioritized before self....right out of the gate, or even years intot he relationship - just because love is there.  In fact to me, love is best defined in the actions spent  - I think sometimes we've been taugh ta very shallow idea of what love is....

Steven

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very well said.

Actions truly do speak louder than words.