Being a gentleman vs. Being Obsessive

[saechalyn]

Aw man, just respect her , LISTEN to her, and you'll quickly find out what she digs.  If in so doing you're then moved to be "gentlemenly" and she takes it wrong, call her on it (but dont be a dick) - she owes you a degree of mutual respect as well.  If she's worth her salt, you'll both be fine and you've both learned something about one another. 

But is she still takes issue, then walk. 

I personally like a woman who is self sufficient, yet can still let me in once she trusts me (an earned thing mind you).  And if she's got  a healthy sense of humour and an adventurous spirit, she can roll with just about anything.  I like them boobies too......

Steven

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well said.

[TomCat]

I finish last a lot...I'm too fuckin' nice apparently. But, if you must persist in the chivalrous deeds, I will warn you that the old adage "to thine own self be true" MUST be adhered to. Or you'll end up a bitter old fool like me, who's home silently protests the lack of children's gleeful laughter, and the pitter patter of puppy paws that said children should have as their own...

Oh, and don't marry the Antichrist for fuck's sake.

[paradox]

so we're grabbing a pint at the mead after work tomorrow, are we?

[soothsayer]

Oh, and don't marry the Antichrist for fuck's sake.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Don't date her either. :fear

[TomCat]

so we're grabbing a pint at the mead after work tomorrow, are we?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

can't tomorrow, I have a tattoo appt at 6, and I work til 5. However, I WILL be at Luna for a friend's Birhtday tomorrow night (after my arm gets punctured several thousand times). But we do have to drink at the Mead soon, I love their beer, it's delicious!!

[TomCat]

Don't date her either.  :fear

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Here Here. No dating dirty whores anymore

[The_Dark]

I'm an old fashion gentleman romantic at heart. Now, don't get me wrong... I won't go out of my way to get a door for a lady unless it would in some way be helpful. Say she is carrying bags or dealing with children... Otherwise it just becomes so much cheese. On that note, I would do the same for a man. I'll also take a few extra steps to open or hold a door for the elderly and I'll be damned if I'm just going to let the door slam into the person behind me. I treat everyone as either a Gentleman or a Lady until they prove otherwise. I treat my elders with the respect they have earned. It's not only the way I was raised.. it's what feels right. So, I keep my armor oiled and my horse saddled... ready to charge in and save the day....

If that offends you. Deal with it. I'm not changing who I am at heart to make you feel better about yourself.

[paradox]

ill also be up there on thursday this week to meet a new guy for our gaming club.

[TomCat]

I'll try to stop by after work on Thursday Paradox.

[Scary Guy]

Hell some of that stuff I do for all girls cause it's just polite.

[Homicidalheathen]

Heh heh....we are trying to drive you nuts. Ok now the door opening thing......I sometimes welcome it.....sometimes it pisses me off....depends on who is doing it. If it is a nice looking younger man I am flattered...older one's do it to hit on you unwelcomely so there you go. I have actually had someone get mad for not saying thank you when I had a frickin pencil in my teeth! It's like the only reason he did it was to get a smile...reaction....

I like the effort from my man though. When he stopped after oh say 16 years I noticed and was hurt....he started again. :cheerful

Am I confusing you yet? Hope so...it is the mission of all women. JK!

Now that call to see if she made it home ok? Even my platonic freinds do that. She should be grateful for that. It is common curtesy....maybe other actions have made her weird.....I don't know what your like. Or maybe she wanted to stop and get some booty from someone else on the way home....oh sorry. My bad. Don't let my paranoia rub off on you.

[Daevion]

Some things like holding doors are simply good manners, if someone has a problem with that than next time I let the door slam in thier face. Personally I think flowers are overkill, but than again I'm not romantic. I don't know what to tell you other than don't bother wasting your thoughts on this sort of thing. Romance is, for the most part, dead and is wasted on most girls these days.

Now, why is this so?

1. struggle for equality, yep, most things that us guys see as romantic implies that women of today are still weak, and they don't like that.

2. Most people are bitter, corrupt, jaded, angry, hateful, unhappy,hurt, etc. You get the picture. So if you get slapped enough times for doing something than eventually you expect it....even more than that you'll get confused if you don't get slapped. Simple behavior modification.

[DarkVampire]

I was raised the old fashion way of being polite and curtous. Open doors, allow them to enter first, etc. If a woman is going to get all upset over it than she sure isn't for me.

[torn asunder]

I'm an old fashion gentleman romantic at heart...

...If that offends you. Deal with it. I'm not changing who I am at heart to make you feel better about yourself.

[Paint it Black]

Here Here.  No dating dirty whores anymore

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Or marrying them....

:cheerful

[FarrIL]

Well, let me give you my advice..... seeing as though I'm a chick. ~_^

Well, opening the door for a girl is very sweet, although yes, most women can open the door themselves. Personally, I find it rather courteous when a guy opens the door. The car door, on the other hand, I'd prefer doing myself. My stepdad does it to my mom and I and it kinda annoys me, personally.

Little gifts like flowers/chocolates, etc..... i wouldnt do that on the first date, although there are still some women who like it and thinks it's romantic. If you're planning a really romantic date (( dinner, movie? Walks in the park/beach, etc and then end up in a passionate situation.....? )) Maybe the flowers and chocolate add to that Romantic feeling. But when you get a girl who isnt very materialistic (( or prefers buying the flowers/chocolates themselves, either to brighten the place or grab something sweet to eat )), the girl probably might shrug off the receiving of a romantic gift, either with the mentality of "Darn it, you really shouldnt have" or the mental state "Aaannd that does nothing for me."

Now, mind you, there are guys (( and from what I hear, a TON of guys )) who act extra sweet/romantic/gentlemanly just because they think they can get in a girl's pants that much quicker. Maybe that's what the girl is thinking "Is he going to try to re-arrange the walls with me tonight or WHAT?!"

As for being way too possessive/obsessive would be calling constantly, being over-protective and getting rathe rjealous when the girl wants to spend time with her friends, whether they be male or female. If there are other males present, the obsessive guy would automatically assume that "his" girl is trying something. It's that mentality that'll push the woman away.

Giving space and being patient with a girl shows some promise. A good example is what Ray did for me. He was very patient with me up until the end. And we're still friends on top of that.

So, just some personal views and such. Hope it helps. =D

[Head Wreck]

one. not a circus lion. i dont jump through hoops in exchange for a "treat" from the ringmistress. its just the way i am.

2 civalry. according to the laws of chivalry..

if a woman is on her own you cant do anything untoward

but

if the woman has male company, and you best the man in combat you can do as you wish with the woman.

now remind me why i think chivalry is best left to the romantic poetry of the medievil ages

[Guest Megalicious]

..........

[paradox]

no one ever opens the damn door for me! :laughing

[Brenda Starrr]

Chivalry isnt dead, the appeaciation of it is.  I, until very recently, extended every courtesy to my dates that was conceivable.  But as the efforts went unappreciated, I decided it was time to sell the white horse, melt the shining armor, and head for the hills.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You were very sweet to me, Jeff.

I finish last a lot...I'm too fuckin' nice apparently.  But, if you must persist in the chivalrous deeds, I will warn you that the old adage "to thine own self be true" MUST be adhered to.  Or you'll end up a bitter old fool like me, who's home silently protests the lack of children's gleeful laughter, and the pitter patter of puppy paws that said children should have as their own...

Oh, and don't marry the Antichrist for fuck's sake.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry I didn't do you. Maybe next time.

[the eternal]

I like all that "old fashioned" type stuff. I guess it depends on the gal.  *shrugs*

Then again, if a prospective suitor started to act like I was "his wee little helpless lady" it would be time to move on.

Aw man, just respect her , LISTEN to her, and you'll quickly find out what she digs. 

Both make great points. And here's the thing you start learning with age.

Some people

just

aren't

worth it.

You have to know yourself and who you're dating.

There might be a woman you like. She's hot. She's cool to be around.

But she ultimately isn't your type.

And that's totally okay.

There are so many people that I would've given anything to be with or thought, wow he's a lucky guy, look at her.

Looking back at it, it's like, wow, how could I have ever even wanted to be with them.

And then you find someone you're truly meant for.

(Who breaks your heart anyway, and goes off and fucks other guys, and complains you're not driven enough, thereby taking away more of your drive, and dangles love nuggets in front of you just to smash them to pieces the next day and...) oops, sorry I got a little off track there.

My point is, be patient, and you too will find that someone who doesn't just like, but loves your gestures and who, moreover

really gets you.

And what's more important than that?

(And you too will marry and share a highly dysfunctional relationship and 2.5 kids who don't respect you some day)

You just need to weed out the bad apples first, and know,

if they can't appreciate your values, there are a hell of a lot of other women that will.

They're just probably too shy and broken down themselves to make a connection.

I really appreciate that sort of stuff. It's refreshing to me... but then I'm a romantic.. and oldfashioned.

Wow. From your posts, you seem to be in kind of a delicate state right now. That said, if things were different, I would so be crushing on you right now.

<feeling very embarrassed> :blushing

Never mind what I said. Move along.

[Brenda Starrr]

I bet that you are really good and sweet to those that you date. I mean that. I just sense it.

[Medea]

I loooooooove sweet gestures. For me though, I love a sort of... unexpected sweetness.

Flowers are nice, but remembering what my favorite candy bar is and bringing it to me is better. Something that shows that you've payed attention to things I've said.

I think the sweetest gesture I've ever heard of was my friend Jasin's boyfriend.

He was coming to pick up my friend, and when Jasin opened the car door, he saw a liter bottle of Dr. Pepper (his fave soda) and a single white rose on the seat.

And also, I love it when a guy gives phone based attention. However, I often don't call them a lot because I worry that -I- might be coming off as obssessive.