Pose a question to the group:

[Aralis]

Yes and No.

Yes-I am happily married and have a great husband and a nice house to live in. I have wonderful pets and nice things.

No-I do not have a job right now so I am broke and we are trying to get both our cars straightened around or get a new one. We want to move eventually cuz the payments here are killing us and we can not save any money.

I want to start a family eventually I think...just one child if any...but I want to be more financially secure and not living here. I refuse for my child to have to go to Flint schools.

I want to have a job that I semi like and that pays decent.

I would like to have money put away and not living from paycheck to paycheck.

Also going back to school would be nice but I doubt that will happen.

[pharoh]

I mean, right now.  At this moment where your sitting.

Do you feel you have accomplished most of what you planed for your life up to this point and are you satisified with the outcome?

Me, well yes and no.  I feel I have accomplished what I wanted to on some levels but maybe not how I had planned for it to come about.

And in some ways I still feel lost and backsliding.

You?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I myself do not feel fullfilled at all, I thought computers was want I wanted to do, and have been doing it fo 6+ years....now I dispise it. I also thought I was happy in a relationship and now know that I was living a lie to myself, now that I am single I am lonely, and I don't feel like I have accomplished anything in my life.

[DJ Nocker]

im not even close to what i want to be, but im not really sure where i want to be is either so....i got nothin...

[The Void]

NO.

Not by a longshot.

I had pictured myself as making a LOT more money, double what I make and had seen myself better educated in a much higher position of power than the power position I am currently in. I guess at least I'm lucky to only have one boss and I get to manage others. I'd not do well in corporate America.

Spiritually I am on better track, but there never was a plan for that.

I am just now actualizing some of what I was put here to do. Healing myself is the biggest process.

Emotionally I would say I am about 95% what I wanted to be. I am pretty aware of myself and others. Sometimes I know too much about other people and it gets boring to know things ahead of time.

I'll keep changing and keep becoming and continue having vision of what my ideal life. But, yes, it needs to become real, not just a vision.

[FarrIL]

Absolutely not.

I dont feel overly accomplished at all, and wont actually until I officially move.

Overall, I am thoroughly discontent with where I'm at physically, emotionally, mentally and psychologically. I want out from where I'm at, and I want to be farther along in my physical and psychological progression.

There are times where I have my ups and then there are times when I have pitiful lows. I like to make the Ups last as long as possible.

In the meantime, I am going to take what I can get, because I know that when the crap blows over, I'll be giving and getting so much more. Life will be better and so will my outlook.

But where DO I want to go with everything?

I want to be able to get through my college education and look back and say "Holy shit, I did that? That's right, I did, and I couldnt feel any more better about it too. DAMN!!"

I didnt forsee myself having an emotional breakdown. I didnt forsee mental/emotional fatigue. I didnt forsee scrutiny to this immense degree. What I forsaw was kicking ass and taking names in college. I'm barely keeping my head above water right now.

I'm not proud of myself. Not proud enough, I should say, but then again, with my current situation, there isnt much for me to be proud of. Yes, I'm attending college. Yes, I want my Bachelor's degree in Visual Communications. Yes, I'm going to get that degree and get a career.

Right now? I just want to move out of this overall SLUMP I've gotten myself into.

[Saephyr]

Wow are we in good company or what?

I'm officially 'handicapped' so it sucks.

Can't work and I miss my job an awful lot. I even miss the physical strain it put on me since it keep me hauling 70 pounds on/off all day for 8 hours =)

Keep having to stop dead in my tracks to make room for being in hospital/doctors and seeing a therapist helps a lot since chronic pain makes for some wicked depression. I do have some great things in life sure...no doubt.

I will be trying to :

Get back to my bad ass physical self.

Keep a routine daily when possable even if it gets interrupted.

Take care of my home.

Make sure I have social interaction no matter if I have to be drunk to tolerate the pain or not.

Make sure I stay open to my inner spirit so she doesn't get smothered.

Most of all...try and have fun or find people who are, so I can enjoy how good they feel at the moment. Lately...that's been going very well

[Draco1958]

Dude, I can soo much empathize with you here. Found out the hard way my marriage was a sham and after she walked out, it's been downhill ever since. If I died tomorrow, I doubt I would really be missed. I don't think I've made much of a good impression on anyone, especially here as of late. Not sure what my next step will be but whatever it is, it will happen when the time is right. Somewhere else someone started a thread on what is love, I can't answer that cuz I'm not sure it even exists anymore, well at least as far as I am involved it doesn't. Plus it's hard to love someone when you can't love yourself....(Belongs in another thread).

Far from it. Not married nor even a girlfriend for that matter, I have a degree that I don't use, finacially "getting by" barely, and other bullshit.

I write stuff I never finish, I don't complete things I start basically. I procrastinate over shit and it pisses me off but I can't seem to get pass it.

There is no joy in my life, just another fucking dreary day. There is no love only fucking emptiness that has been with me so for fucking long I don't know any other feeling.

So no I am not any where near the the ideas and plans I had in place 15 years ago. If I was to die tomorrow I could really care less.xjhgc

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Daevion]

Ugh, NO. 

5 years ago I was in graduate school at Columbia University.  Now I'm (for lack of a better term) a secretary.  It's nice to work for an organization I believe in but my specific job is dull and going nowhere and essentially brainless.  I am so sick and fucking tired of living paycheck to paycheck all the time.  I can take care of myself and have a little fun but I have made no headway on my student loans and saving is out of the question.  If my car dies I am completely fucked.

I used to be smart.  I used to read philosophy books for fun.  I feel like I've become such a mindless twit.  I hate that.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know what you mean....my job is very dull and everyday I work here it makes me more retarded as time goes on....the real kicker is that I'm very much aware of what I need to do to change things, but I feel locked in because of my financial situation.

[Saephyr]

I know what you mean....my job is very dull and everyday I work here it makes me more retarded as time goes on....the real kicker is that I'm very much aware of what I need to do to change things, but I feel locked in because of my financial situation.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

YOU NEED CITY CLUB LOVIN Daevion...bring your ass up there on Saturday

[Daevion]

YOU NEED CITY CLUB LOVIN Daevion...bring your ass up there on Saturday 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

its possible....I dont know yet

[FarrIL]

I know what you mean....my job is very dull and everyday I work here it makes me more retarded as time goes on....the real kicker is that I'm very much aware of what I need to do to change things, but I feel locked in because of my financial situation.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

::: Huggles hard :::

That's what it's like for me here in Midland. I think I'm progressively getting dumber.

[n0Mad]

I am definitely not where I want to be in life, although I'm not unhappy with where I am.

I'm almost 30. In my mind I should be married and starting to think about my first kid by now. As it is, I've been single for over a year now and zero bites on the hook. Hell, my longest relationship lasted a total of 3 months. Well, technically it was longer than that, but she was going through some tough times and needed her space which I gave to her, so we were really only together for a total of 3. I guess that's what's getting me down the most right now, is lack of companionship. I'm not ready to rush into marriage right away even though I feel like I should be already married. I just want someone cool to hang out with who will return my affection, someone I can have fun with, laugh with, snuggle with, talk with, enjoy life with ... oh, and sex.

I have three college degrees. I should be a PR rep for a company somewhere making at least $30,000 a year. I should have my own house. I should have a decent savings account, take a small vacation every other year and a big vacation the other every other years. I should feel like I'm struggling to get by on occasion, but be getting by nonetheless.

I have more skills and talents than most people put together. I've won awards as a magician. I landed a job managing a night club in Colorado and directing an improv troupe from my merits as a professional comedian. I can crack a cigarette out of someone's mouth with a bullwhip. I should live in Hollywood and be an up and coming actor. Not stuck in MI making 1/8 of what I'm worth on shows.

But, who's to say that the path I want to follow is the right path for me? I'm not where I want to be, but maybe I'm where I should be. I haven't achieved my big goals, but I have a lot of accomplishments behind me. Back in March, I was hospitalized with a heart attack that turned out to be a viral infection of some sorts (myocarditus?). The doctors said there was small chance I wouldn't survive the heart catheter (when they thought it was a heart attack) and a bigger chance I wouldn't survive the infection (when they learned it was a virus, and the sucker wasn't normal and attacking the heart lining like most do, but rather destroying the muscle tissue itself). It was at this point when I realized, that I was okay with dying. Yes, there were a lot of things I still wanted to accomplish, but all in all I have no regrets. I lived a full life, accomplished a lot, helped make the world a better place, and if my time was up, then I was okay with that. I'm glad I'm not dead, and I still wish I was farther along that I am, but I'm proud of what I've done and where that's put me and I'm happy I still have a long life ahead of me to accomplish the goals I want.

[Steven]

I'm 39.

Starting to think about my age a bit - because as much as I hate to admit it I have to - the knees hurt the back hurts, I get tired easier, or sick when I push it too hard. Mortality...sometimes a dreaded thing.

Am I where I want to be?????

Yes and No.

Career wise - I've had to start over since I moved to Michigan - and its been a long tough year. I'm FINNALLY hitting pay dirt again money wise and responsibility wise, and just got a new job running a shop, which is fullfilling for me because I get to be a boss again, something that I'm the most comfortable with. But the year long wait tested me a bit. And I'm inheriting a crew of guys who dont know me yet - and will test me again to see how far they can push me as their new Boss. Its a new season for me, and yet something I've done before...

Personal life wise...yes, I'm very fullfilled but still setting my goals higher. Laura and I are trying to start a family. My marriage is very very good and I'm proud of that because she and I have both worked out asses off to make it like that. We've learned a couple of things, we trust each other. I'm sorry for so many who have lost faith in marriage but mine is good - when its working it changes everything.

Draco you will get a chance once again.

Dont throw the future away based on the past. Instead use it to learn and grow and force yourself to a higher place. You seem like a good guy to me. Nothing breaks down all by itself. Let yoruself be bruitally honest wtih yourself and learn and grow. Laura and I did not always have what we have - and for a year we were split up and involved with other people. The first 6 years of our marriage were horrible.

As for freinds, I love my friends very deeply - and yet I still need to work harder on those relationships. And work harder on building new ones. I beleive in people...its a sickness i have. I'm looking forward to this year, ready to put last year behind me, and start enjoying my new life her e in Michigan.

[Steven]

Oh yeah, I'm not where I want to be spiritually.  The hard part is, is that I don't even know where that is.  I've been looking for something for awhile now and I can't figure out what it is.  I thought I had it about 2 years ago, I was close I thought, then I lost it and it never came back.  I tried to do the things I was doing before, but it wasn't the same.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very Honest answer...ballsy.

Spirituality to me - is the center to everything.

My wife and I share this very intimately - and are equally devout in our walk with Christ. Sounds cheesy I know - but it makes a world of difference for us. We share somethign that we both love - that were both accountable to - that were both exploring - and that has shaped us as a couple and as indiviudals.

Good luck on your journey my friend. Keep searching.

Steven

[Shade Everdark]

Very Honest answer...ballsy.

Spirituality to me - is the center to everything.

My wife and I share this very intimately - and are equally devout in our walk with Christ.  Sounds cheesy I know - but it makes a world of difference for us.  We share somethign that we both love - that were both accountable to - that were both exploring - and that has shaped us as a couple and as indiviudals.

Good luck on your journey my friend.  Keep searching.

Steven

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

However much we disagree on our politics, I admire you--and The Dark--in this. It's not always easy to adhere to your faith, and it's not always easy to take the comfort from it you'd like. But comfort is there to be found.

[Steven]

However much we disagree on our politics, I admire you--and The Dark--in this.  It's not always easy to adhere to your faith, and it's not always easy to take the comfort from it you'd like.  But comfort is there to be found.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks Dude.

[Homicidalheathen]

I am kinda handicapped right now too. My doctor says with proper diet monitoring and the right situation I could work.....so I have not been able to get any money for it.

My last boss got mad because I was in the bathroom too much. That is what is holding me back with music too pretty much. I never know what is going to happen or when. Missing a foot of intestine makes you rather unpredictable.

Also, my knee cap slides around now. I don't dislocate anymore but my kneecap is fucked up.

So I may start playing Keys. At least then I can sit on stage.

I just feel so old! Everything is falling apart!

I know it sounds like an excuse but if my body were in better shape I would do more with my life.

I still get real sick sometimes and am not a reliable employee.

I want to find something I can do here at home.

Other than that I think my depression slows me down. I would get more done if I lived in a sunny state.

I hate to say but my S.A.D. is already kicking in and it has only been cloudy 2 weeks.

Anyone else have this?

Wow are we in good company or what?

  I'm officially 'handicapped' so it sucks.

Can't work and I miss my job an awful lot. I even miss the physical strain it put on me since it keep me hauling 70 pounds on/off all day for 8 hours =)

Keep having to stop dead in my tracks to make room for being in hospital/doctors and seeing a therapist helps a lot since chronic pain makes for some wicked depression. I do have some great things in life sure...no doubt.

I will be trying to :

Get back to my bad ass physical self.

Keep a routine daily when possable even if it gets interrupted.

Take care of my home.

Make sure I have social interaction no matter if I have to be drunk to tolerate the pain or not.

Make sure I stay open to my inner spirit so she doesn't get smothered.

Most of all...try and have fun or find people who are, so I can enjoy how good they feel at the moment. Lately...that's been going very well 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Homicidalheathen]

And I know it is sad but thanks all of you. I don't feel so much like an outsider or freak after reading that we as humans all seem to suffer the same stuff pretty much. It is just that some of my freinds and family are yuppies that do real well........get good breaks in life.....I seem to be sitting still and have real bad luck.

[JaneDead]

I know it sounds like an excuse but if my body were in better shape I would do more with my life.

I still get real sick sometimes and am not a reliable employee.

I want to find something I can do here at home....

I hate to say but my S.A.D. is already kicking in and it has only been cloudy 2 weeks.

Anyone else have this?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ditto

[Saephyr]

I share S.A.D. with my father

Let's all go to Spoon's place in Orlando and get happy!

[Draco1958]

I hear ya sweetie. I have cousins in the area who have always done well. To the point of not inviting my mother and I to family reunions because they didn't want to hear that we weren't doing as good as them. 1 cousin got a sholarship to Boston College, his brother got one to Mich State. Both for sports. Father worked for one of the Big 3 so they have a nice home, nice cars etc. I'm going to be 48 in 2 months, live in a friend's basement, don't have a working car, bad knees, bad back. Some days I wonder if it's even worth waking up. At least I found a job altho my hours keep getting cut so money is limited. Single, overweight, poor paying job....man, my outlook for finding someone special is slim.....sigh, time to find a stuffed animal to snuggle up with on the colder nights.

And I know it is sad but thanks all of you.  I don't feel so much like an outsider or freak after reading that we as humans all seem to suffer the same stuff pretty much.  It is just that some of my freinds and family are yuppies that do real well........get good breaks in life.....I seem to be sitting still and have real bad luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Homicidalheathen]

I liked stuffed animals.

[Hellion]

:devil I am in a fix right now; but someday hopefully soon me and a best friend will have a recording studio someday, along with me working even a better job programming CNC mills and lathes.

[DisturbedMania]

I've come to this point in my life, basically my original goals are nowhere to be seen. But, in spite of that I have come up with new goals as I have decided the old ones were not really for me. I tried to force my college education in a field where, though I could be extremely useful, was just not for me. I know that now, but I didn't know that then. Which is why alot of my goals have so drastically changed. I still have one goal that remained the same- to find someone that loves me the way that I love them. That one will be the hardest and will take most of my life.

For the most part I am satisfied. I don't have tons of money, but I get by. I've been concerned about others for quite some time now and people scare me just a bit. Mostly, because the answers they need could be handed to them on a silver platter and they would do the exact opposite.

[EvilEve]

i am nowhere near where i want to be. i have a general idea as to where i want to go, but when will i get there, i don't know. if i keep waiting, i know it won't happen, but i don't have the funds to make things happen. so i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, content and annoyed.