Government Assistance (WIC,EBT, etc...)

[honeymustard02]

Not really gift related, more money related is my rant.

I am a cashier and this is something I have noticed a LOT and it pisses me off.

I see all these families come in and use EBT cards and wic coupons, but then they go and buy a few hundred dollars worth of stuff that isn't even things they need!!!! This bugs me because I work full time and I don't even eat as well as some of these people do!!!!!

I'm tired so I'm not really putting a lot of effort towards this but you get my point.

OK back to the topic.

[Brenda Starrr]

Not really gift related, more money related is my rant.

I am a cashier and this is something I have noticed a LOT and it pisses me off.

I see all these families come in and use EBT cards and wic coupons, but then they go and buy a few hundred dollars worth of stuff that isn't even things they need!!!! This bugs me because I work full time and I don't even eat as well as some of these people do!!!!!

I'm tired so I'm not really putting a lot of effort towards this but you get my point.

OK back to the topic.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Amen!

How is it that some people can get govt. assistance and STILL afford to buy shit that they don't really need or go to clubs or dinner? I was at the grocery store when I saw a woman buy 2 lbs of jumbo shrimp and some steaks with her EBT card!!! When Wayne was out of work, did I go get assistance so that I could buy some freakin' shrimp? Oh, HELL no.

I had better stop. I don't think that this is where the thread was intended to go, and I could go on.

[Lilith]

okay this may start something but i need to say this casue i get EBT Food, (you can also get EBT cash but ya gotta be really poor or sit in an office for like 40 hours week staring at a wall to get it)

NOw I actually have been off assitance since OCT 1, by my choice, When i was getting assitance i got $600 a month for food, I have a family of five. I made $600 last the enitre month, I did buy shrimp, i bought muscles, I did even buy lobster once, i go to the meat market and buy an entire slab of NY strip steaks, enitre slab of pork loin and have it cut up to chops roast etc.... and have them cut them up in to 3/4 inch strips. I go to the fruit market and buy just about every veggy n fruit they have, and i shop at save a lot for odds and end then finally the grocery store for what ever is left and POP yep i buy pop too with ebt.

Since Oct 1 my family has eaten like shit, i dont eat anything except dinner, the kids no longer have snacks, or a ready supply of juice/milk, we have no fruit, we eat hamburger meat in many various ways, ramen, oh yeah tunna sandwiches were great for dinner every other day.......My husband works harder every day and eats less then he ever has........ My mother in law is back on her OMG your are so skinny kick, Freind look in my fridge and look saddened.

Now after i pay my bills which are few (mortage, electric, gas, phone, internet, water, netflix) I have a total of $79 left each month. So guess what i need assitance for food, I have went and reapplied over a week ago and they have yet to approve me again due to red tape crap, so i sit and wait for my EBT food, scrimping and barely eating and you bet 100% when it does come through i will be at the store buying the decent food i have done with out for the past two months.

Assitance is there and you cant get it unless your bills and pay match certian criteria, well if they match what the staes says then you get what ever the states says you get. The state provides assitance so people can eat properly, and if they are going to give me the EBT Food to do it with then ofcourse i am going to go n buy a wide variety of food, that is not only healthy, but fun and interesting. How else do you suppose i expose my children to foods they would only find i nthe fancy resturants that we can never afford? Are you saying less fortunate people should be less cutlured in food? Should less fortunate people be deprived of the going out once in a while to releive stress that often builds and make people depressed?

I wil leven admit there would have been ways i could have made the food situation around here better, i did not have to add my $ to cody's drum set, (but then he would have not gotten what i believe he does deserve or i would have lost a tool i believe may keep him out of allot of trouble) i could have taken it to buy food but i had already stoped going out to make sure we had $ for it, i could have not bought my daughter those 2 bartz dolls at Big lots for $14 each, i could have not bought my son the used pair of pants he needed for $13.50 (off ebay and the hot topic type he wanted and it will be a christmas gift)......Comment like the one stated here about people on assitance make those on assitance rethink every move they made, at the end of it all yes i could have done diffrently but i think what i did spend my $ on was just fine and appropiate for the occasion at hand.

I am sorry but just because you are poor dont mean you have to eat spagettio OH and mac n cheese all time. Dont get me wrong there are allot of people who abuse the system, and I too have been a cashier and seen people buying the exact same thing i buy and thought the same way untill i had to get assitance. You cant assume every person who goes through your line buying this stuff is wrong. You cant be pissed at them because they have a situation where they need the extra help and you dont. If you are not eating properly then you need to go get on assistance, or reevalute your own spending habits to provide enough food for you to eat properly, not judge those that do have asssitance and seemingly try to lead a normal life.

[Guest Game of Chance]

I apprecitate where you're coming from Lilith.

However,

Don't you think its a little ridiculous for someone like me to have to pay for your shrimp or lobster? Is netflix necessary? The internet, is that really a necessity?

Do you realize that it is every other working person in the country that has to pay for your EBT?

I can't stand hearing stories like this.

Is it somehow not possible for you to get a job?

[Lilith]

I apprecitate where you're coming from Lilith.

However,

Don't you think its a little ridiculous for someone like me to have to pay for your shrimp or lobster?  Is netflix necessary?  The internet, is that really a necessity?

Do you realize that it is every other working person in the country that has to pay for your EBT?

I can't stand hearing stories like this.

Is it somehow not possible for you to get a job?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The Internet is necessary because i sell items on ebay so that is my job, it also doubles as a way for the kids to gain information needed for school home work, Brian does side Job advertising on many free site online, allot of my family this is the only way we are in contact, My mother in law and i can not talk or compromise anything unless it is in email, (it cuts the extra drama people like to drag in to disagreements), i have friends who mean the world to me that help support me when i am down etc.. that have moved some distance and this is the main way we stay in contact, should i drop my internet and loose allot of emotional support and some finacial support that keeps gas in the car so i can drive to get more shit out of the garbage to sell, the oil changed in the car, the source i have to buy that extra pair of pants my kids needs for cheap?

netflix $19.00 provides a cheap entertainment for a poor family, sat night movies for adult and Sunday movie for the whole family

Guess what I too pay taxes and thus pay for my own assistance. If i was to go out and get a job out of the home i would need a sitter either before or after school possibly both guess what the state would probably pay that as well because they provide that type of assistance too which would probably cost more then my food assistance, do you have any idea the cost of day care for three kids? Do you have any idea the repcussions of kids spending there life in day care instead of being at home with mom or dad? I spent a good amount of time working out of the home and when i did work we still got assistance for food just a little less and i still paid taxes, my kids behaved far worse then they ever had, had major problems in school, i had to take amounts of time off work because i have a child who requires certain routine tests to make sure she don’t have a stroke again, Employers in any field have problems with employees who take allot of time off.

If i get $600 in assistance should i just buy $600 in hamburger? or should i use it to make sure the food is well balanced? Granted if i only got say $100 in assistance the food would be more to my budget and then obviously the state would think i would have enough cash to pay for the rest.

The way you put it is if a person gets assistance then they should sit in a house and do nothing but be boring. They should eat crappy food and you have a right to be mad if they don’t because you pay taxes, well i too pay taxes, and have since i was 16 years old, my husband still pays taxes, and when it comes time to file for 2005 guess what i have to claim my Ebay stuff too and it was mostly stuff i already owned.

It is obvious to me even if i stopped the internet and net flix that i would still need assitance, the internet and netflix hardley make up enough for a family of five to eat properly.

[Rayne]

do you have any idea the cost of day care for three kids?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No kidding. It's soooo expensive.

I have four children. One of whom is still a baby. Daycare costs for him alone are as much as my other three combined.

[JaneDead]

lilith- you don't need to explain yourself or your situation to anyone. ok? just worry about taking care of your family.

[honeymustard02]

I'm not saying there's anything bad with needing help.

My point is I put in my 40 hours and I can not buy shrimp or anything like that. It's shitty because I pay my bills and buy my stuff and come up short yet I make too much to get help.

My point is a lot of these people don't need the money they get. They just get is because they can. Why should I bust my ass so they can eat like the rich and not do shit for it. I had a woman come in the other nite and buy ( I kid you not) over $300 worth of food for her and a friend. Then she pulled out a wad of cash to pay for some random items.

It's a sore spot for me because I know these people don't need this money. Yet I see a lot of people coming in who need it and count change to buy a simple meal. If they really needed the money they wouldn't be dressed to the nines with their hair and nails done and make up on.

[JaneDead]

I'm not saying there's anything bad with needing help.

My point is I put in my 40 hours and I can not buy shrimp or anything like that. It's shitty because I pay my bills and buy my stuff and come up short yet I make too much to get help.

My point is a lot of these people don't need the money they get.  They just get is because they can. Why should I bust my ass so they can eat like the rich and not do shit for it. I had a woman come in the other nite and buy ( I kid you not) over $300 worth of food for her and a friend. Then she pulled out a wad of cash to pay for some random items.

It's a sore spot for me because I know these people don't need this money. Yet I see a lot of people coming in who need it and count change to buy a simple meal. If they really needed the money they wouldn't be dressed to the nines with their hair and nails done and make up on.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i understand that too. that makes me sick as well. i can only spend about 100 a week for a family of 5, we don't eat that well either most times. :erm

[Brenda Starrr]

I'm not saying there's anything bad with needing help.

My point is I put in my 40 hours and I can not buy shrimp or anything like that. It's shitty because I pay my bills and buy my stuff and come up short yet I make too much to get help.

My point is a lot of these people don't need the money they get.  They just get is because they can. Why should I bust my ass so they can eat like the rich and not do shit for it. I had a woman come in the other nite and buy ( I kid you not) over $300 worth of food for her and a friend. Then she pulled out a wad of cash to pay for some random items.

It's a sore spot for me because I know these people don't need this money. Yet I see a lot of people coming in who need it and count change to buy a simple meal. If they really needed the money they wouldn't be dressed to the nines with their hair and nails done and make up on.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's what I mean.

When I was pregnant with Sierra, My ex had lost his job. Ian was just over a year old, and I was only working part time. We couldn't even GET assistance. We really needed it. We needed EBT, as we had to eat. Nothing extravagant, just regular food. When my ex and I went for help, there were people parking their BMWs and Benzes, re-upping their bennies. All I could get was medical assistance, which I didn't use because I wanted to keep my OB, who didn't take medical assistance. I was so upset. Here we were, in need. We couldn't get help. These other people with all the gold jewelry, nice nails and hair, and nice cars re-upping. I saw it with my own eyes. It wasn't fair. I didn't even bother applying for help when Wayne got laid off. I knew all too well that I couldn't even get medical assistance for the ridiculous amount of scrips I have to take for my allergies. THAT hurt. I needed this, but KNEW that I wouldn't get it.

[JaneDead]

That's what I mean.

When I was pregnant with Sierra, My ex had lost his job. Ian was just over a year old, and I was only working part time. We couldn't even GET assistance. We really needed it. We needed EBT, as we had to eat. Nothing extravagant, just regular food. When my ex and I went for help, there were people parking their BMWs and Benzes, re-upping their bennies. All I could get was medical assistance, which I didn't use because I wanted to keep my OB, who didn't take medical assistance. I was so upset. Here we were, in need. We couldn't get help. These other people with all the gold jewelry, nice nails and hair, and nice cars re-upping. I saw it with my own eyes. It wasn't fair. I didn't even bother applying for help when Wayne got laid off. I knew all too well that I couldn't even get medical assistance for the ridiculous amount of scrips I have to take for my allergies. THAT hurt. I needed this, but KNEW that I wouldn't get it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yeah i have seen that too. my friend had assistance in wayne county (which brenda, is mainly detroit in case you don't know/not familiar with our counties, but not just detroit- but their offices are all in detroit to my knowledge)

anyways- i drove her once and we had to go to this crappy part of detroit for her to get her food stamps (they were still "food stamps" at the time, about 8 years ago i'd say) and for such a crappy run down neighborhood of people in need MY CAR was the shittiest in the lot and back them my car was pretty decent. i was really appalled by the people i was seeing going in there, and how a lot of them were even dressed! they were dressed really really well. i mean, not just nice and decent and clean. i mean flashy. name brands. leather. suvs. i mean really, they looked like rich people if you ask me.

sorry to say but those are the people that give assistance a bad name. and those are the people who make those REALLY in need feel BAD for needing help when they are struggling to take care of a family. because not everyone is like that.

it's a problem with the system, not always the people.

[honeymustard02]

Something I forgot to add.

You can eat well on EBT but shrimp and lobster are not needed to have a well rounded child.

This leads into a whole thing.

I was not rich growing up but I wasn't dirt poor either. My parents worked hard for everything we had. I am doing the same now.

I don't have kids because I can't afford them. I know you can't ever really afford kids, but right now I'm not even close. There fore I don't have them.

I'm sorry but you could go out and get a perfectly good job and eat better then you do now.

It's just excuses honestly. Those who actually need help don't get it because it's going to people who work loop holes to get out of getting off their butts and getting a job. Those are the ones I feel bad for.

Again I know there are a lot of people who get help that needed it. Personally from the facts you stated above, you don't. You just don't watch your money. Neflix is not needed. Internet is not really needed. Your friends who moved away, I'm sure they know how to write letters. Buying your child $30 worth of dolls is not needed. Neither is name brand clothes.

You're kids need food to grow and be healthy. Not so they can say they've experienced other cultures.

Personally you can teach your children a lot more if you go out and work hard for what you have.

As for child care. There is nothing wrong with having your kids in daycare. It's better then sitting home stuck to the TV or game system. There's also the fact that you could get a job while your children are in school. So that would eliminate needing childcare.

[Lilith]

okay i have this left to say, I need assitance, no matter the amount i spend on other things, i still at the end of the month would not have enough left for much grocieries......

Now when i did and Hopefuly will get it again, they gave me $600 for food only. (the amount of assitance you get is based on your personal situation, and can change from month to month not every one gets the same amount) I cant spend that on anything else but food. Hell there are even limitations on the types of food i can buy. For instance i can not buy those premade rotisorie chickens from the deli. NOw i sit and look at $600 for food only...... I make a list and a budget based on that $600. I shop at various places casue i found that things are cheaper at various places and i can get better/healthier cuts of meat or what not for the same as the grocier store. Now if after all my planning and what not if i have room for Shrimp or lobster, or what ever else what is the problem? Why judge or get mad or say it is ridiculous? I needed assitance for food, they gave it to me, i budgeted my assitance to make room for something nicer, what is wrong with that?

[Guest Game of Chance]

Game - just out of curiosity......have you done anything about this since you feel so strongly?  Have you written anyone (I wouldn't know who to write but there has to be someone to answer your concerns)?  Or do you just bitch about it.....Don't take offense no other way of saying it is all lol.

Now if you have huge problems with you giving money for something like that then you need to take it up with someone.  I hear complaints but no solutions....also things won't change unless someone speaks up about it.  But thats just my two cents....carry on =)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes...I vote Libertarian.

[Guest Game of Chance]

While I personally feel that if she is in need of help for herself and children......maybee buying seafood may be extravagent, but you also need to take into account that after your dealt shit constantly month after month you tend to wanna indulge yourself once in awhile just to make yourself feel better.....I am sure you too have done this at one point in your life when you couldn't afford it and Yes I have too.

Lets break it down real simple.  I don't know what lilith is qualified to do or her background in education is but simplify it and say for the sake of conversation she has a diploma with no other formal education or skills.  On a job like this lets say she is making 8 dollars an hour.  Now the kids need daycare services, now I am a single man with no children so I have no Idea what it costs, but for 3 kids it's gonna be more than what she's actually bringing home.  So lilith is doing the ebay thing instead and taking care of working.  She is saving the family the expense of daycare service and also trying to bring in a supplemental income.  As for as the internet and netflix.....maybee she dont' need a highspeed connection, and you can save maybee 30 bucks a month, but I agree netflix it's a cheap way to escape from reality for alittle while, and thats something everyone needs to do.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Let me tell you something, bro. There was a time in my life that I literally owned the shirt on my back. I got a bullshit job that I hated. Tubby's. Worked at it until I could afford a car. Any car. Once I had the car, my options opened up because I didn't have to walk to work anymore. So, I got a better job, short order cook at a diner. I then heard about an even higher paying job, in the Ironworkers Union. So I applied, and got it. But, I didn't like it. So, I talked to everyone that I knew. And asked them, hey, are they hiring at your work? Found a job as a sales assistant at an Executive Search firm. I got promoted in 3 months to Account Executive (Headhunter) because of my hard work. Worked there for a couple of years and made some pretty good coin. The job market started to dry up, so I realized I needed to do something. With the experience I had gained from the Headhunter position that I held, I parlayed that into getting a job as a Stockbroker. Two years later, I was recruited by an Institutional Bond Firm.

Now you know my story. While I was waiting for those first few paychecks from Tubby's, I donated plasma so that I would have enough money to eat.

The point of all this: I've been through a lot, and I've worked my ass off to get where I am. Why in the hell should I unwillingly pay to support someone who won't get a job of their own? That, my friend, is socialism.

[pharoh]

Hey dude I'm not accusing or anything, and I'm not saying you ain't been through some shit, but that all adds more to what I'm saying....you took precautions to make sure you survived, just like she did. And if there are things you got issues with like paying for that EBT thing, then get petitions going, write letters to governer or someone and at least try.

[Guest Game of Chance]

I've recently been looking around at daycare and have been quoted (at the lowest) $450 a week for my four kids for 40 hours a week of daycare. Now keep in mind one of mine is still an infant, he costs much more than the three older ones ... but still $450 a week just for daycare.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thats a lot of money. There are companies out there that offer daycare as a benefit, though.

[Lilith]

Let me tell you something, bro.  There was a time in my life that I literally owned the shirt on my back.  I got a bullshit job that I hated.  Tubby's.  Worked at it until I could afford a car.  Any car.  Once I had the car, my options opened up because I didn't have to walk to work anymore.  So, I got a better job, short order cook at a diner.  I then heard about an even higher paying job, in the Ironworkers Union.  So I applied, and got it.  But, I didn't like it.  So, I talked to everyone that I knew.  And asked them, hey, are they hiring at your work?  Found a job as a sales assistant at an Executive Search firm.  I got promoted in 3 months to Account Executive (Headhunter) because of my hard work.  Worked there for a couple of years and made some pretty good coin.  The job market started to dry up, so I realized I needed to do something.  With the experience I had gained from the Headhunter position that I held, I parlayed that into getting a job as a Stockbroker.  Two years later, I was recruited by an Institutional Bond Firm.

Now you know my story.  While I was waiting for those first few paychecks from Tubby's, I donated plasma so that I would have enough money to eat.

The point of all this: I've been through a lot, and I've worked my ass off to get where I am.  Why in the hell should I unwillingly pay to support someone who won't get a job of their own?  That, my friend, is socialism.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

well if you are concerned with the fact that people who get assitance dont have jobs maybe you should not have asked a person with assitance who actually does have a JOB if they thought it was ridiclous that they took there resousrces and budgeteed it for something nicer. Are you aware that if i or lestat did not have a full time job, to get assitance one of us would have to be sitting in a dept office doing absolutly nothing, or the dept will make you go to unemployment and mi works to gain employment they just dont hand out food assitance to any one, there is actually a long and annoying process to it. I make copies of every one of my finacial records, i have all my bills, i even take in my bank statment and these people see every aspect of my finacial status befor they give anything to any one.

I too would not want to pay for some one who is able bodied to sit at home doing nothing while i bust my ass, but maybe becuase i am informed of how the system actually works even though it does have flaws i dont go around judging and making blanket statements that would and could hurt some one who really does need.

I respect that you have been through tough times, but let me assure you i am not just sitting here doing nothing while your tax money feeds my family as you imply.

Oh and just so ya know i did get finally get approved i got the letter and my new card in the mail yesterday afternoon, and ya know what accordign to the dept we are doing allot better, how do i know this my assitance went from $600 two months ago to $290....... If i was not workign my ass off or if my husband was not working his ass off we would still be getting $600. Which by the way because it was allot of help some of the food we did eat for the past two month had come from the assitance casue i had stocked up because i knew we were doing better and the dept would adjust my asstiance accordingly.

[Lilith]

Thats a lot of money.  There are companies out there that offer daycare as a benefit, though.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Great are you willing to pay for her training to get said Job if she is not already qualified? Are you willing to go to said company and get her said Job? Does said company even have a job opening? My guess probally not.

Great solution but is it practical in her situation? You dont know so you cant judge her if she went to the state to seek assitance for day care costs?

Just like you cant judge Said family who went through the cashiers lane who bought shrimp or have on a leather coat etc........ Heres news for you too I own a leather coat a pretty nice one too, why do i own said coat, casue 7 years ago i needed a coat, i asked my inlaws to combine my birthday gift and my christmas gift to purchase me a warm coat that would last a long time, My budget was $250 i went and shopped and found a nice faux fur linned leather coat on sale for $250, it happens to be the warmest coat a person has ever worn, beats the hell out of my hubby's insulated coat he got from work. Thats why I have a leather coat becasue the poor person in me saw that i needed and i would probally not have the $ to buy a new coat any time soon so i made sure i bought some thing that would not only keep me dry but warm, and ya knwo what the zipper on that coat broke about 3 years ago, i have not had the $60 to get it fixed or to buy another coat so i suffer, but i bet 100% if i walked in to buy soemthing nicer then fish sticks with my 8 year old broken coat some one would judge me unjustly.

That unjust judgeing is what i was speaking out against, i knew when i typed my own personal situation i would get judged, but when you dont knw a damn thing about a person other then what you see you have no bussiness assuming anything about them and then judging them.

*side note*

other then what i stated here i am done with this tis the christmas season and i refuse to have my holly jolly mood ruined or my loose my place in the race to get back on my damn feet becasue of this

[Guest Game of Chance]

but let me assure you i am not just sitting here doing nothing while your tax money feeds my family as you imply.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are completely missing the point. Its not specifically your family that I'm concerned about, its the system itself.

[Guest Game of Chance]

Great are you willing to pay for her training to get said Job if she is not already qualified? Are you willing to go to said company and get her said Job? Does said company even have a job opening? My guess probally not.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Now you're really missing the point. Explain to me how any of that is my problem.

I go to work, I try to make money. I'm in a 100% commission job. Its tough, and I don't know what my income will be from month to month. I don't like the fact that money is taken out of my hard earned paycheck to support social programs. Period. Its not Rayne and its not you, its not even about just me. Its a much bigger picture than that.

Government, IMO, should be about infrastructure and that's it. Roads, Hospitals, Schools, Sewer Systems, etc.

Also, as I mentioned in a previous post, certainly if a group of philanthropists CHOSE to donate to a fund to support those social programs, that's great. But I like freedom. Forcing me to support people who can't pay for themselves in life is NOT freedom. We're not given a choice. And that's the part that's fucked up.

[Rayne]

Thats a lot of money.  There are companies out there that offer daycare as a benefit, though.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your right ... but I have yet to find one that I am qualified for. Most of those jobs want a college education. Those that don't, require a high school diploma. I dropped out early and got my GED ... to some companies the GED isn't the same as the high school diploma. I did go to college for two years, and worked full time as well ... but my health declined and my daycare bill got too expensive (I was only making $7.00 an hour) and I had to quit college after two years.

I do plan to go back the first chance I get (I'm guessing a few more years until my youngest is in school). It's important to me to make something of myself.

I'm not on any type of state aid or anything. At this moment, my children and I recieve enough from their father to make ends meet but that's not going to last much longer, and you better bet I'll be doing what is nessecary for my family.

[Marblez]

Thats a lot of money.  There are companies out there that offer daycare as a benefit, though.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's what they say...but I have yet to see one. I have even worked at day care centers for a while and not one offered more than a measly discount as a benefit.

There are also costs related to working, like maintaining the appropriate wardrobe, gas money, the need for another vehicle if you are not working completely opposite shifts, the time spent together as a family if you ARE working opposite shifts, not to mention anything that is job specific like tools, additional training...if I wanted to take the time I could go on.

Daycare is ridiculously expensive and if the mother does not have the absolute need to work outside the home, she shouldn't. Look at the turn that this country has taken since mothers began to feel forced to work outside of the house. I believe that there is a direct link to the societal problems we have today and how our children are being raised by people that are paid to care for them rather than having a true and real concern for their proper upbringing.

That said, if outside assistance is necessary, people getting this assistance should be responsible and be sure that they are not using that assistance so that they can maintain a pleasurable lifestyle. It should be used in such a way that it maintains the health and welfare of themselves and their children.

Lobster, shrimp and pricy cuts of meat should not be out of the question completely because, yes, their children should have experience with all types of food. I personally am just now learning about some of these foods after having some very real feelings of being socially inept due to my complete lack of exposure to them. No one should have to feel that way. Expose the children to some of the more quality things in life as your budget permits, but not necessarily on a weekly, or even monthly basis.

Instead of convenience foods like hot pockets or frozen dinners, buy staple items like flour, vegetables and meats and take some of the time that is saved by not working and actually cook for the family - a lot of money can be saved this way, the food is much more healthy and it still instills a work ethic in the children. Freeze the leftovers for times when convenience is a necessity.

Lestat and Lilith, I have been to their home. They seem to do a good job of providing well for their family on what they have. They are using their creativity and hard work to bring their children up well. Kudos to them. There should be more people like that. Could they do things differently? Yes, everyone can. But instead of blindly telling them that they don't need this or that, perhaps you could point out more alternatives. I will provide some here myself....

Netflix

Most libraries offer VHS and DVD's of even blockbuster movies for free.

This would also help with the education of the children, offering them an opportunity to check out books that interest them, expanding their knowledge and promoting an interest in reading.

If that isn't an option for some reason, 2 movies per week at your local video store may provide not only a bit of cost savings but also a fun opportunity to take the children out and let them pick out movies of their own. Rotating this between 4 kids allows them one special movie of their own each month.

Internet

The internet can be accessed at the library as well. If the sales from EBay are enough to cover the cost of the internet each month - I consider it an acceptable expense anyway since there is an added benefit to the children's schoolwork. I don't know what kind of internet service you use, but Earthlink offers accelerated dial up service (thats what i use) for 9.95 per month for the first 6 months. Cable internet and cable tv are not necessary or prudent in my opinion. Judge for yourself based on the benefits vs the cost.

Children's Christmas Gifts

If you do not buy toys for your children on a regular basis, there is nothing wrong with 2 bratz dolls for your daughter for $30. A drum set for your son, as long as it is not top of the line and you know that it will be taken seriously by him - get it. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about that. There is a correlation to music and learning. Knowing an instrument not only provides him hours of unsupervised enjoyment, but teaches him about the need for hard work and practice, instills confidence and coordination. Just don't spoil them with lots of things that they are not going to use and encourage them to give up any old toys that they do not play with frequently - even if they are not broken.

Okay, I need to spend some quality time with my son now.

[Guest Megalicious]

You can eat well on EBT but shrimp and lobster are not needed to have a well rounded child.

It's just excuses honestly. Those who actually need help don't get it because it's going to people who work loop holes to get out of getting off their butts and getting a job.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is very TRUE.

Pretty much, and its sickening how the goverment lets them .. year after year after year, continuing to have kids they can not support .. just to get more money. Not to mention a increase on every other goverment program the have enrolled in.

BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO USE IT BECAUSE THEY NEED IT, such as lilith Im sure ... and they shouldnt be looked down upon just because they need the help.

okay i have this left to say, I need assitance, no matter  the amount i spend on other things, i still at the end of the month would not have enough left for much grocieries......

  i budgeted my assitance to make room for something nicer, what is wrong with that?

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Then you need assitance Litilth .. I mean your kids have to cry eat honey : cry

there is nothing wrong with that as LONG AS ITS NOT A LONG TERM SOLUTION!! Yes you need assitance but you dont need it forever .. you need to come up with a long term solution that will better you and your children.

[saechalyn]

I can't really voice a clear opinion on these issues because I don't have a lot of information. I just wanted to say

I got a bullshit job that I hated.  Tubby's.  Worked at it until I could afford a car.  Any car.  Once I had the car, my options opened up because I didn't have to walk to work anymore.  So, I got a better job, short order cook at a diner.  I then heard about an even higher paying job, in the Ironworkers Union.  So I applied, and got it.  But, I didn't like it.  So, I talked to everyone that I knew.  And asked them, hey, are they hiring at your work?  Found a job as a sales assistant at an Executive Search firm.  I got promoted in 3 months to Account Executive (Headhunter) because of my hard work.  Worked there for a couple of years and made some pretty good coin.  The job market started to dry up, so I realized I needed to do something.  With the experience I had gained from the Headhunter position that I held, I parlayed that into getting a job as a Stockbroker.  Two years later, I was recruited by an Institutional Bond Firm.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow. Steve I am really, really impressed.

Sorry to derail. Carry on.