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~funny quotes of dgn~


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Posted

I hope it doesn't slip out in front of my family today. I've already made the mistake of saying "Mongolian cluster fuck" in front of my dad after a few jello shooters....

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Is the one who is in jail the same one who just got out of the mental hospital, who is also the sister of your wife? 

I need to write this down.

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When I said "planted," I meant it literally.  Forehead gardeners are hard to come by, and it's even more difficult to plant things with your lips ;-).

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I have decided not to be funny anymore...

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Posted

WHAT??? You're not happy about sleeping on my sofa next month??? I hope my cat goes into heat that week.

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Posted

In fact one time a guy hit my parked car, I yelled at him til I realized he was a gay man so I called the ACLU and reported myself for commiting a hate crime. 

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Posted

I always did it aon a percentage basis like I am 85% hetro, and 15% homo, There is something about certain mens voices that get me going.

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Posted

Gooble Gobble

We Accept You

One of Us

Posted

Santa Dog's a Jesus fetus

Santa Dog's a Jesus fetus

Posted

2 car accidents ago when i was underwater in my car (engine still running) this song was just ending, and when the car hit the bottom it switched over to "loser" by beck. 

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Posted

Yeah. Even if DQ offered a Spooge Smoothie, I wouldn't buy it.

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Posted

You're like a Sourpatch Kid....

You're bitter on the outside, but once the exterior has been sucked off, you're soft and gooey inside.

Posted

Two in a row! Go me!

Posted

chuck you farley go back off in your own jack yard

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Imagine having a couple of shots and reading this. I'll re-read it when I don't have a buzz....

Posted

i had a feeling someone would quote that and i actually had a feeling it would be brenda ;)

Posted

You knew!

I had to.....

Posted

responding to someone moving away....

Gonna miss u alot.  Youre truly a one of a kind girl.  Also... did I mention that you got big tits I love watching them bounce kind of like water balloons.

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Posted

I think BS9 cyber-stalks DollarDAve, just waiting for him to type shit like that :laughing

Posted

LOL

I think BS9 cyber-stalks DollarDAve, just waiting for him to type shit like that  :laughing

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Posted

My dick feels like corn...

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Posted

I could plant them in my cleavage.. that's where everyone looks anyways.. ;P

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:laughing :woot:

Posted

I hate the word "diddled". Makes me feel like some redneck instrument. Like a washboard.

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Posted

I ain't no hollaback girl!

From paradox's sig. lol

Posted (edited)

Somone who has B O problems smellin like dead fish

Somone who is immature

Somone who is lazy and eats bon bon's and chicken wing's all day

Somone who has bad breath

Somone who will refuse ta brush there teeth

Somone who will pick there butt and then pick there nose

Somone who will bitch and manipulate

Somone who will fuck any guy that walks behind my back

Somone who lives in a dumpster or a card board box

Somone who owns a car made out of card board box and a bike with training wheels that only goes 5 miles per hour

Somone who never even made it out of elementary school

Somone who has no goals

Somone who will mooch off of me

Somone who will only use me for my money

Somone who will keep cloggin up the toilet and blow up the bathroom without bothering using the air-freshiner spray

Somone who will keep stealing my stuff and pawn em at a pawn shop for crack and heroine

Somone who will make me a smoothie using a garbage disposal instead of a blender

Somone who is obsessed with frozen tv dinners and eats em all up in one day

Somone who will take care of me like a huge black guy in prison named bubba

Somone who will collect there toe-nails in a jar and wipe a collection of boogers on the wall behind my bed

Somone who likes ta play with there lip crud in the morning

Somone who really does taste like a ashtray

Somone who has barely no hair and only a few gray hairs on the side of her head.

Lol aight, I think I shall stop right there.

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lol-from the 'What I Look For' thread

Edited by Paper Hearts
Posted

Thats funny ass shit that list.

Posted

I just luv ta say FUCK!!!

Always has been a huge part of my vocabulary :grin

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