Pointless marriage?

[The Rod]

He really DOES rock, doesn't he?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yep... Steven certainly can make a fine point, most elequantly too.

[TygerLili]

Well said Steven.

This is not a marriage. It sounds like two children playing house. In a marriage there should be communication and mutual respect, not game-playing. Don't get married, it sounds like you're not ready to stop playing around, and neither one of you knows how to effectively communicate your feelings to the other.

Good luck.

[kellygrrrrrl]

last I checked, there weren't any loop holes in the laws of marriage

[Goth Brooks]

Steven: You're the man I want to be when I'm married.

That is all.

[honeymustard02]

I agree.

Well said Steven.

This is not a marriage. It sounds like two children playing house. In a marriage there should be communication and mutual respect, not game-playing. Don't get married, it sounds like you're not ready to stop playing around, and neither one of you knows how to effectively communicate your feelings to the other.

Good luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[CandyQuackenbush]

John immediately demanded we have sex. He is my husband. I would never deny him. So we did.

:blink

But hes not your husband. Thats what I don't get. Deny him all you want. Its your freakin' body. No one can tell you what to do with it.

Wake up, clean the crud from your eyes, and get out of this relationship. Because it sounds like he's controling. Unless you want that.

[Guest Megalicious]

John immediately demanded we have sex. He is my husband. I would never deny him. So we did.

:blink

But hes not your husband. Thats what I don't get.  Deny him all you want. Its your freakin' body. No one can tell you what to do with it.

Wake up, clean the crud from your eyes, and get out of this relationship. Because it sounds like he's controling. Unless you want that.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

something tells hes not the only one who is actting "abusive" in this relationship. I dont know either one of them IRL do Im about as objective as it gets. There are two sides to every story, something tells me that if he is willing to put up with his wife seeing another man, if he is willing to put his feelings aside just so he think he can make someone happy by doing it, hes not the one in the relationship that can "demand" anything. Just because he allows this behavior, just because he has agreed to having a open relationship, doesnt mean he isnt getting hurt.

To be honest I dont like the TONE of this post, you have every right to post it and I have every right to disagree.

Because you are painting the husband like he is the bad guy here. I dont think there is any "bad guy" here, this is a relationship where both parties (atleast it seems that way to me) are at fault.

[Steven]

something tells hes not the only one who is actting "abusive" in this relationship. I dont know either one of them IRL do Im about as objective as it gets.  There are two sides to every story, something tells me that if he is  willing to put up with his wife seeing another man, if he is willing to put his feelings aside just so he think he can make someone happy by doing it, hes not the one in the relationship that can "demand" anything.  Just because he allows this behavior, just because he has agreed to having a open relationship, doesnt mean he  isnt getting hurt.

To be honest I dont like the TONE of this post, you have every right to post it and I have every right to disagree.

Because you are painting the husband like he is the bad guy here. I dont think there is any "bad guy" here,  this is a relationship where both parties (atleast it seems that  way to me) are at fault.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

that's pretty much how I'm reading it too Meg...... and I think both parties have added their own painful flavor....

[Steven]

John immediately demanded we have sex. He is my husband. I would never deny him. So we did.

:blink

But hes not your husband. Thats what I don't get.  Deny him all you want. Its your freakin' body. No one can tell you what to do with it.

Wake up, clean the crud from your eyes, and get out of this relationship. Because it sounds like he's controling. Unless you want that.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

you know what though?

not even your husband has the right to DEMAND sex.

[Guest Megalicious]

that's pretty much how I'm reading it too Meg...... and I think both parties have added their own painful flavor....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes as sad as it is .. but atleast they are looking for some objective advice ..

you know what though? 

not even your husband has the right to DEMAND sex.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very true .. no one has the right to "demand" anything from anyone else..

[CandyQuackenbush]

you know what though? 

not even your husband has the right to DEMAND sex.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, he doesn't, thats true.

Thats why this is the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard.

Demanding sex sounds like a form of rape.

How about you Steven? Sound like it?

[Brenda Starrr]

you know what though? 

not even your husband has the right to DEMAND sex.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Amen.

[Guest Megalicious]

No he doesnt.

Thats the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard.

Demanding sex sounds like a form of rape.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

some how I still think he wasnt in the postion ot "demand" anything. He may have asked ..however ..I dont think he "demanded" .... but thats just me ..

[Guest Megalicious]

Thats why this is  the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thats about exactly what I think.. probably for differnt reasons.

[CandyQuackenbush]

Thats about exactly what I think.. probably for differnt reasons.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nice.

[Guest Megalicious]

Nice.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It may or not be as you say "nice" it's the Joy Division .. lol

[CandyQuackenbush]

It may or not be as you say "nice"  it's the Joy Division .. lol

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

They had alot of problems over that name.

Wait, are you talking the band, or the Nazi party?

[Guest Megalicious]

They had alot of problems over that name.

Wait, are you talking the band, or the Nazi party?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:laughing

The band of course.

[Steven]

No, he doesn't, thats true.

Thats why this is  the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard.

Demanding sex sounds like a form of rape.

How about you Steven? Sound like it?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

the thing is I dont picture it (the demand) coming from a forceful person or being delivered with a threatening tone.

I actually picture it coming in a pouty whiny me too kind of delivery, that's what I'm hearing. Like a child having a tantrum. Definately not goood, not healthy, wacked out yes - but not threatening or physically painful.

Of course I could be wrong - but I think that Jesi probably is the one in charge in this household.......

[Guest Megalicious]

I actually picture it coming in a pouty whiny me too kind of delivery, that's what I'm hearing.  Like a child having a tantrum.  Definately not goood, not healthy, wacked  out yes - but not threatening or physically painful.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That is exactly what I picture.

Of course I could be wrong - but I think that Jesi probably is the one in charge in this household.......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That sounds about right :whistling

[CandyQuackenbush]

the thing is I dont picture it (the demand) coming from a forceful person or being delivered with a threatening tone.

I actually picture it coming in a pouty whiny me too kind of delivery, that's what I'm hearing.  Like a child having a tantrum.  Definately not goood, not healthy, wacked  out yes - but not threatening or physically painful.

Of course I could be wrong - but I think that Jesi probably is the one in charge in this household.......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm not one to really get into other person's lives. This is a very good reason why.

[Steven]

I also have to agree with candy though.....about the crock of shit thing....and I hope that Jesi if your reading all of this its not offensive....

[Guest Megalicious]

In matters like this I just lack Empathy, I cant relate because I could never imagine EVER Treating my sweetie like that.... I care about his feelings to much and though It may not work for all it works for me.

to each their own. It's not a judgement thing, I have nothing against Jesi for the choices that she makes, but when you are posting about your marriage in a public forum it kind of goes along with the territory if you know what I mean.

I hope they can come to an adult standing. I hope that they can make a choice they are both happy with. Sometimes it just so hard when your feeling have been crushed, I hope they are beyond that point. For both of their sakes.

[wheresmypiggy]

So I'm young and childish and painting my man out to be the bad guy.

Not quite.

I was looking for insight from others. So that my own views arent skewed.

I thank you for the help, criticisim and sarcasm.

[Blackmail]

So I'm young and childish and painting my man out to be the bad guy.

Not quite.

I was looking for insight from others. So that my own views arent skewed.

I thank you for the help, criticisim and sarcasm.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, you're saying your boyfriend is immature yet you call him your husband while you have sex with someone else. If you don't like to be tied down then don't have a boyfriend, or find one that is cool with open relationships, which he obviously isn't.

Seems pretty simple to me. I just solved your problem with one paragraph. You're welcome.