Romance or hot sex?

[jynxxxedangel]

Romance. Always.

[TomCat]

It is what it is.

indeed it is.

Have you heard? The Bird is the word?

[prick]

Open letter to Prick:

Are you willing to have a little friendly debate on this question?

Okay. So maybe I'm confused about the question. And maybe my confusion has to do with the fact that my outlook and experience do not exactly match yours. But I feel the question itself is a little manipulative since there is already a cultural bias that romance should be more important that hot sex. And anyone who disagrees gets slapped with the labels of being either a sex addict or just extremely superficial. I am neither of those things (in my estimation). The thing of it is, I can't agree that romance is more important.

The reason I can't agree is that although I value very strongly things like symbolic gestures, courtesy, and generosity, I don't feel that most of what our culture deems as romantic best exemplifies these virtues. I think romance is false and manipulative. It's the little games people play in the hopes that there will be hot sex afterward. It's the means to the end, not an end in itself. If it were the end in itself, then one's level of SEXUAL involvement with the individual would hardly be a deciding factor as to whether one ought to engage in those practices. Say someone is really important to you, always there for you, always greets you with open arms and generally makes you feel wonderful, loved and appreciated. So you go out and buy this person a box of candy, right? But if this person is Gimp, Prick, do you still buy the candy? Or is that something you just get a lady WHOM YOU MIGHT BED ONE DAY.

Overall, I think it is the ROMANTIC stuff that is superficial, not the hot sex. Because--oooh, secret *SHHH*--I don't find sex with anyone I don't love and like deeply very "hot" at all. It's tepid. It's mechanical. It's yucky. And, no, I might not actually buy a box of candy for the person (or persons) with whom I'm capable of having HOT SEX, but I will demonstrate my caring in ways that is irrelevant to what may or may not happen in the bedroom.

My vote: Hot Sex

But I realize that you might (and probably are) conceiving of ROMANCE differently than am I; you likely feel that it is defined or exemplified differently than my, admittedly, little jaded picture above. So I want to hear from you what that picture is. Woo mee, Prick. Woo mee.

I understand your point and I dont think chosing sex makes one any less then chosing romance. I know we as humans need both but if you had to seperate and choose one? I see you chose sex. I am glad you made a stand and picked one. I for one have never used romance to get sdome hot action. I truely love romance. One of my favorite books is Jane Seymours guide to romantic living. It teaches that you dont even need a partner for romance. A bubble bath with candles or buying yourself flowers can be quite romantic. Just like you dont need a second person to have sex. It is just nicer to have that special someone there and the truth is the same for romance. I hope I find that one true love who isnt too jaded and feels so strong about romance too. I love sex, dont get me wrong. But I do miss cuddeling on the couch or listening to my love sleep next to me. I just know that I could live without sex, although prefer not to. I could live with out finding my one true love, again dont want to. I would wither and die without some romance in my life.

[Brenda Starrr]

As a romantic, I feel as though I have always actually NEEDED to hear sweet things from my partner. I want to know if I'm beautiful to him, or if I make his day....whatever it is. I need to hear it. I say these types of things ALL the time. I want to make sure that he knows how much he means to me. It's not just words. It's touch, glances, smiles, and so much more. I don't need material things to know that he loves me. I love flowers, but it's not a requirement.

Although shoe shopping really "does it" for me......

I just think that when you're being romanced, it brings hot sex. I totally choose romance, because (for me) it brings the amazing sex along for the ride.

Cracker Jack box=romance. The prize inside=hot, steamy sex.

I'll take the Cracker Jacks, please.

[eleven]

As a romantic, I feel as though I have always actually NEEDED to hear sweet things from my partner. I want to know if I'm beautiful to him, or if I make his day....whatever it is. I need to hear it. I say these types of things ALL the time. I want to make sure that he knows how much he means to me. It's not just words. It's touch, glances, smiles, and so much more. I don't need material things to know that he loves me. I love flowers, but it's not a requirement.

Although shoe shopping really "does it" for me......

I just think that when you're being romanced, it brings hot sex. I totally choose romance, because (for me) it brings the amazing sex along for the ride.

Cracker Jack box=romance. The prize inside=hot, steamy sex.

I'll take the Cracker Jacks, please.

The inspirational out of the blue "I love you" is always refreshing....i am never short on commenting on how that person makes me feel, or what i like about them, there is something that makes me feel good about letting them know that they are special to me and the reasons why they are.....

[Burrich1]

damn it really wanna get sum tulips now i wish isnt wasnt winter

Buy some discounted bulbs, 'cause it's off season right now. Put them in the fruit and vegetable drawer of your fridge for 8 to 12 weeks. This will fool them into thinking they have over-wintered. Then plant them in a pot in your house. They will come up quickly. This is how people get tulips to grow in Florida (at least for a season).

Wow. I know stuff.

[taysteewonderbunny]

I understand your point and I dont think chosing sex makes one any less then chosing romance. I know we as humans need both but if you had to seperate and choose one? I see you chose sex. I am glad you made a stand and picked one. I for one have never used romance to get sdome hot action. I truely love romance. One of my favorite books is Jane Seymours guide to romantic living. It teaches that you dont even need a partner for romance. A bubble bath with candles or buying yourself flowers can be quite romantic. Just like you dont need a second person to have sex. It is just nicer to have that special someone there and the truth is the same for romance. I hope I find that one true love who isnt too jaded and feels so strong about romance too. I love sex, dont get me wrong. But I do miss cuddeling on the couch or listening to my love sleep next to me. I just know that I could live without sex, although prefer not to. I could live with out finding my one true love, again dont want to. I would wither and die without some romance in my life.

Okay. I said HOT sex. Which for me, I don't think I could separate from romance as you've described it. If it's sensual yet introspective living that is romance, then, well---look, it's a trick question, isn't it? I try always to be nice and extend myself to people, even when sex is not ever going to be an option. And I often take several minutes in the day just to, I don't know, notice, I guess, where I am in that moment and (DAMN, I don't know how to explain it).

Sex is just friction unless... you know? What would be the fun in that. (Sorry, I'm having a very hard time verbalizing tonight.) I guess I just don't like the word; it's been abused so long. It makes me think of Hallmark cards and playacting and ploys and promises people don't mean to keep and self-delusion. Affection, respect, friendship, empathy, and warmth are words I prefer. I couldn't have sex without them. Not anymore.

[punk_princess]

HOT SEX

[DarkVampire]

Hot passionate sex or hot rough sex?

[prick]

Hot passionate sex or hot rough sex?

ake your pick!

[Brenda Starrr]

Hot passionate sex or hot rough sex?

Hot, passionate sex.

[TomCat]

Hot, passionate sex.

OK

[Michiko_Dreads]

Romance, thats all I really need.

I dont care to much about sex, only one person does it right,

[Tacohitts]

Did someone say"felch"?

[Ace]

Romance. Then tons of hot sex. Everywhere.

Everywhere.

Haha. Atleast that's how it should be. :]

[taysteewonderbunny]

Doesn't hot passionate sex get rough every once in a while? I mean, change it up a bit now and then.

[DarkVampire]

Always. Have to keep it fresh by changing it once in a while.