Once you eat the honey

[wheresmypiggy]

So. This boy.

Great guy to start out with. Almost too good.

I kept telling everyone I wasn't going to let it go anywhere. I mean he made me happy and all, (ok stress the and all part) said things I wanted to hear blah blah blah.

I told everyone it was a game. They called me paranoid. Told me to stop shutting myself in so much. So I listened. Started dating him and then....

Bam

I shoulda listened to myself. What the fuck have I gotten into now.

It started out on Friday. I was in a blah mood. Not feelin so hot. Johnny Bones party was that night and I was supposed to go. David wanted me to drive from Livonia to Lincoln Park. Pick him up bring him back to Livonia to hang out and then drive back to Lincoln Park for the party. So of course by the time we got to the party I was beat.

My friends Jimmy Jeff and Reggie were there. I went up and hugged them and the drama began.

Now mind you I have known Jimmy and Jeff since h.s. And also most of you have seen how I act toward my friends. I'm friendly. No harm, no foul.

All of a sudden it became this huge thing on how I was disrespecting David in front of his 'crew' I needed to be by his side, I was his woman.

I got angry and walked away instead of fighting.

I kinda saw his point of view so I apologized and said when we were hanging with his friends I would be more respectful.

Saturday.

OMG. Not sure how the conversation came up, of course everyone was fucked up so who knows. He pulled me aside and told me he didnt want me talking about Twink anymore (a guy who I hooked up with awhile back, he and I are still friends but rarely see each other except at CC) I gave him a confused look because I could not remember seeing Twink. He said that all I did was talk about Twink all the time... now I was really confused. He accused me of being in love with Twink.

This I had to laugh at.

I have only been in love twice. One is dead, the other is now still my best friend after 10yrs.

He asked me if I was in love with anyone. I warned him about asking me this, he wasnt going to like the truth. He demanded it and so I told him. Yes I still love my ex fiance.

I thought his head was going to explode. He accused me of leading him on, breaking his heart, setting him up. WTF?

Just because I still love someone doesn't mean I want to be with them. I asked him if he ever loved any of his ex's he said of course. But he doesnt anymore.

I want to know how you fall out of love with someone. Even if they change you once loved who they were.

I was not backing down from this one. How dare anyone try to make me feel bad for anything I have done in the past or any feelings I have had.

The arguement continued for awhile. I wanted to go home. David had said the relationship was over because he didn't want to be second best. He set himself at second best. I have never compared him to anyone else. I don't work like that. He just seemed like he was out for blood. As I went to leave he stopped me and said he wanted to just forget this whole thing blah blah blah. Whatever. Sudden outburst. Could happen to anyone.

Saturday night.

CC was awesome. Man was I really far gone. Talking to imaginary people and stuff. LOL. David was never far behind me. I just wanted to see my friends. I had been with David all week, I miss my friends. Everytime I hugged someone he glared at me but I didn't care. No one was going to ruin my night.

He made me drive home Saturday night. I wasn't drunk but I knew I should not have been driving. He yelled at my every mistake (which were so minor) and it just made me nervous. We got back to his place and sat down for a minute and watched the Devils Rejects. Movie sucked. He fell asleep on my lap so instead of waking him up I fell asleep too.

I was awaken at 9am by some party stragglers and so I slipped off the couch and hung out outside with them. We did some cute photos which made me happy. I hadn't brushed my hair or anything but the photos looked so natural. Finally David woke up around 7pm. I had to go home. Had work in the morning and a messy apartment to clean and a little sister who missed me.

Man did he get angry. Wouldn't get off my lap, or let my hand go. Finally I yanked away and said I had to leave. He said "go before I get angry" is that a threat? So I left. Well I had a Dr. Appt Monday morning at 8am. He calls me around 11am to tell me he didn't have to work and he wanted me to come see him. Just because I had a Dr. Appt doesn't mean I had the day off. He got angry and said he would call me after work. He didn't even ask how the appt went.

He called me at noon, but I was at work and didn't answer. He called at 3:40pm something, I don't get off till 4pm. He knows that. He called quite a few more times but I ended up working late. Then by the time I got home I was late getting to the club.

He called again and I answered. He sounded all pleaseant. Said he missed me, acted like nothing happened this weekend. I told him I had to go to work and he said he was going to try and come up and see me.

Warning Warning Danger will robinson.

Jealous bf coming to see his gf strip. Yeah right. Well needless to say he didn't show up. But he did call this morning at 7am. I didn't feel like answering the phone seeing as how I had 10min more to sleep.

Now I'm not sure whether all the party favors of the weekend caused this big blow up and he honestly doesn't remember or if he is playing some game.

I really do like him but not enough to give up a 10yr friendship with my ex fiance because some guy is jealous. I have never given him a reason to be jealous and if he can't trust me (especially since I was with him whenever I wasn't at work for 1wk straight.). He knew I was a dancer prior, he saw how I was with my friends prior, wtf made him think I would change.

I guess he is used to girls who are dependant upon him, since he is older and had a better job. Well he did. I know how construction is, especially this season. But geez. I am an independant person. I enjoy the friends I have around me. I enjoy life and living it. I'm so not the settle down type. I had a man like that once, sorry boy. It was horrible. I did what he wanted. Went to work at 2 jobs (sounding familiar) and gave him everything he wanted because I was convinced that I was ready to settle down. Nope. Thats called depression and need.

I want to go out and have fun and be me. Why does everyone want to change me or try and claim me. There are plenty of girls out there who want that positon. Pick someone else.

[Msterbeau]

Two words: Forget him.

You don't need the hassle of someone that unstable.

[The_Dark]

Run away. Dont look back.

[saechalyn]

Yes, run. This guy is exhibiting classic controlling behavior and does not treat you well at all. You deserve better. A lot better.

[Paint it Black]

I concur. Not good signs, he's over=possesive.

Especially if you are stripper. It takes a very confident man to date a stripper and this guy reeks of insecurity.

I'm sure he can be a nice guy, and if you take away his inner feelings of self-loathing, he probably would be a great guy.

But you can't fix that and you shouldn't feel in any way responsible for it.

My advice, walk away before it gets too messy.

[wheresmypiggy]

This is why I stayed single for so long.

Now its all messy. Mutual friends are involved.

He is friends with my friends and has been longer than I have. Its gonna suck when they take his side. I don't blame them though. They really don't know me that well.

Ugh I hate this.

[Daevion]

holy shiiit!! thats craziness, especially if you havn't been going out for very long...but maybe those"party favors" were screwing with his thought process. He probably isn't the type to deal with your chosen lifestyle, not much can be done about that except part ways.

:laughing I don't want to claim you just see you in a hawt skoolgirl outfit !! :laughing

[Paint it Black]

This is why I stayed single for so long.

Now its all messy. Mutual friends are involved.

He is friends with my friends and has been longer than I have. Its gonna suck when they take his side. I don't blame them though. They really don't know me that well.

Ugh I hate this.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You shouldn't feel obligated to stay with this guy just because you have mutual friends.

If the friends are good ones they wont take sides.

[Homicidalheathen]

Some people I am sad to say....are only good as friends or even freinds with benefits....no more.

I cannot handle possesive freinds who come on strong then back away and blame all the drama on you!

God if a beautiful woman like you has problems.....what hope do I have???? :tear

[JaneDead]

I concur. Not good signs, he's over=possesive.

Especially if you are stripper. It takes a very confident man to date a stripper and this guy reeks of insecurity.

I'm sure he can be a nice guy, and if you take away his inner feelings of self-loathing, he probably would be a great guy.

But you can't fix that and you shouldn't feel in any way responsible for it.

My advice, walk away before it gets too messy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ditto this

[torn asunder]

Run away. Dont look back.

ditto that...

[ZhukovCodeslinger]

its amazing how well some people can hide the fact that they are head cases.... they seem perfectly normal until the "sense" the right moment then they blindside you with this kind of crap... their goal... to get you to give in to their bullshit... then they own you forever (or somthing like that) and it only gets worse.....

you are lucky you have a chance to get out now.

[Brenda Starrr]

Get out while you still can. Before he tries to run you over with his vehicle. Yes, this happened to me. And I climbed a tree for the first and only time in my life.

Now run.

[holliwood66]

This guy is exhibiting classic abuser-in-the-making behaviors. I've seen is many times before as well as been there Gal. Please dump this asshole and find someone with a bit more self-esteem.

No matter what, it is you in the relationship with this person, not the friends. If you are unhappy/uncomfortable, it is you - alone - going home with them at the end of the day.

Remember that being with someone and them being with you is a choice made everyday. Just because somthing was a certain way last week, month or year - you always have a choice.

[wheresmypiggy]

its amazing how well some people can hide the fact that they are head cases....  they seem perfectly normal until the "sense" the right moment then they blindside you with this kind of crap... their goal... to get you to give in to their bullshit... then they own you forever (or somthing like that) and it only gets worse..... 

you are lucky you have a chance to get out now.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is my thoughts exactly. Those people are called sociopaths.

And in response to everyone else:

See these are my thoughts exactly. Its just that when I expressed these to my closer friends who have known me for years they just assumed I was running from a relationship because I was afraid blah blah blah. They actually made me second guess myself.

I'm going to avoid contact with him for the next couple days. He knows my work schedule is busy this week.

I have been in abusive relationships before. They never seem to end well for the guy lol.

It was just nice to get out again. I've shut myself up for so long. He was like an outlet.

[saechalyn]

I get the same kind of thing from friends a lot. They give me shit if I don't "give someone a chance" or whatnot because they assume it's because I am afraid, etc., when really it's just because I AM NOT INTERESTED, or THE SITUATION IS BAD. It's better to be single and hold out for someone who is really going to be what you want and deserve than to "take a chance" on someone who is unstable.

[kellygrrrrrl]

Wow, what a dolt......

Can we say Anger Management?

A few observations:

Obesessed

Angry

Jealous

Dependant

All of the above are instant turn OFF

Wow, what a dolt............ :blink

[TomCat]

Beware of the evil "self-projecting monster" type. They are typically jealous, because they, themselves believe that they will be cheated on, because they are cheaters too. This makes them feel that no one else can be trusted, because everyone must be like them, so that they feel normal. It's very common in lowere self esteem types and often associated with very "controlling/manipulative types."

[Shade Everdark]

I wasn't going to comment here because, well, I usually don't have any right to be giving someone else relationship advice. I can offer, though, that the folks here usually know what they're talking about when it comes to recognizing bad relationship or behavioral traits. You could do a lot worse than listening to them.

[SomeDanGuy]

Sounds like everyone has already offered the advice I would have, so instead I'll just offer a compliment:

I think the you did the independent/mature/strong things all along and have handled this very well so far. I'm with you - no giving up independence of things you identify as core aspects of who you are.

[honeymustard02]

He sounds like the classic controling abuser type. He's jealous of your friends, he hates not having control of your every move. Come on you want a relationship not a prison sentence.

[wheresmypiggy]

So I dumped him yesterday.

Wow. Yup. Sociopath.

Tried to tell me he was having a bad day and I was breaking his heart don't do this to him. Tired to convince me its not what I really wanted. Told me if I dumped him I would regret it and I would not get a second chance. He finally got mad and called me a whore.

I hung up the phone.

He called back 3 times.

1st to apologize and tell me he didn't mean it, he was just hurt because he loves me and misses me and I just feel right for him and he doesnt want to lose me

2nd to tell me he didnt call me a whore i called myself one and he cant help it if he was telling the truth and maybe i shouldn't spread my legs for people he knows.

3rd was half threatening. Telling me I lost the best boyfriend ever. I needed to answer his call and resolve this. I was going to regret this. I'm a psycho. I have problems. This isn't over.

Hmmm...

Really makes me wanna call him back.

God I hope he doesnt show up at CC this weekend. I can't deal with another possessive psycho. I've been through too much in the past 2 1/2yrs. I don't think I can handle that. I will break.

[Brenda Starrr]

No hon....

You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Believe that. You did the right thing for yourself, Jesi. It's about you. He needs to get lost. Just take care of you.....

[kellygrrrrrl]

Good for you!

:woot: :woot: :woot:

Good riddance I'm sure.

[ZhukovCodeslinger]

I hung up the phone.  Good Plan... stick with it

He called back 3 times. suspicion that hes a nutjob

1st to apologize and tell me he didn't mean it, he was just hurt because he loves me and misses me and I just feel right for him and he doesnt want to lose me

Proof he is a psycho

2nd to tell me he didnt call me a whore i called myself one and he cant help it if he was telling the truth and maybe i shouldn't spread my legs for people he knows.

proof he is an Asshole

3rd was half threatening. Telling me I lost the best boyfriend ever. I needed to answer his call and resolve this. I was going to regret this. I'm a psycho. I have problems. This isn't over.

any threat is a whole threat

Hmmm...

Really makes me wanna call him back.  a better call would be to the police... a nice PPO or restraining order will do wonders to keep him out of cityclub since there are a number of cops there who would probably be happy to arrest him on the spot for violating said order.  then he would get to spend the night in big boy jail... in detroit.

God I hope he doesnt show up at CC this weekend. I can't deal with another possessive psycho.            proof that he is stupid, since you will probably have some big guys ready to break his fingers if he lays a hand on you at the club... stupid psycho guys often forget this part when they start stalking

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good luck this weekend...