Does age matter?

[Steven]

Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

It takes a lot of compromise to be in any kind of relationship and I've got to get enough back from the relationship to make it worth it to me.  Sometimes a bit of time alone is good for us, to get to know ourselves, to understand who we are.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am in complete agreement with this.

Time alone can and should be spent in reflection and self improvment - not soley for the ability to attract a mate, but most importantly for a good healthy sense of self esteem. Still..... I'm a pretty firm beleiver that when you work hard on yourself that you inevitably attract quality people....

[Steven]

I agree with Torn but on that note I think that ages out the window if you have a strong commitment and care for each other.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

commtiment and care are only part of the equasion.

You need a handful of good quality life tools as well.

[Reaper]

When I was 21 I dated my 40 y/o supervisor. She had a killer body along with a lot of common sense and a great sense of humor. Have dated a few other 40 y/os as well. And when I was 25 I dated an 18 y/o. So age doesn't really matter to me. Its how they carry themselves or how hot they are lmao

[Rayne]

wasent meaning to sound like a put down babe, I understand what your saying.

I too went thru far far too much for my age.  But then again, so have so many of us in reality - I can swap horror stories with the best of them, but then again so can they.  Those things are at best just building blocks - and they definately count - but you still need time to grow anbd find your purpose.  Its a good thing though, trust me.

A word of caution about "older men".....

Many of them cant (or wont) deal with the challenges and responsibilities or sense of expectation out of someone closer to their age - and dating younger women gives them a certain element of control.  So just be careful.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you Steve. I like you. Very respectable and I appreciate your honesty.

[bean]

Well, I am 25 and the hubby is 32. I have generally gone for older guys and gals because I seem to connect better with them. Lately though, I have been fooling around with 19-20 year olds, which is fun. I would like to think that I don't have an age limit, but I do. If someone is close to my parent's age (50), I can't do it, and it has nothing to do with the person themselves. I have tried to look past the age and see the person, but I have just found it difficult. It's hard to explain, without accidentally offending anyone I guess.

My point, I suppose, is that age sort of matters to me. I have met some 40 year-olds that I have clicked with and I have met some 19 year olds that I have clicked with. The maturity level and the person's personality are what I find to be more important, in general (except if you are under 18 or close to 50, then I just can't do it).

[Draco1958]

The maturity level and the person's personality are what I find to be more important, in general (except if you are under 18 or close to 50, then I just can't do it).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Shucks, rules me out, I'll be 48 in 2 months....LOL

[unchaste]

I've grown up around "age doesn't matter", my parents are 13 years apart.

I've always been attracted towards older people, for both friends & lovers. Hell, my current best friend is 16 years older than I. I was told that I was "robbing the cradle" by dating someone only 2 years older than me. Even in high school, I was friends with more teachers than students.

I guess that I have an old soul.

[Msterbeau]

Nope. I can connect with almost anyone. If we're talking a serious relationship then there are some vague limits on either end... Compatible maturity levels and chemistry are more important then a number.

[DarkVampire]

I prefer women younger than myself. But that is not absolute, I have seen some older than myself as well.

[Wounds Within]

With me personaly, the oldest I have had a relationship with was 6 years older then me and the youngest was 5 years younger.

I have a friend who like myself is 26 and we have been buddies since we were little kids. Anyway I met his lover for the first time last weekend. He never told me how old she was, and to my surprise I found that she is almost 18 years older then us. They have been together for a few months now and seam happy. He has never had much luck with women and now he feels that he has found someone that is to his likeing. It is not something that I would do personaly, but more power to my long time friend if he feels comfortable with it. Of course their are gonna be those akward moments at parties and get togethers and I know his parents are not happy about his selection cuz she is thier age, but again more power to him.

- Bloodied

[Reaper]

Nope.  I can connect with almost anyone.  If we're talking a serious relationship then there are some vague limits on either end...  Compatible maturity levels and chemistry are more important then a number.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree there. I have only dated women out of my age range. Not had intimate relationships with. So in that regard, age would matter.

[Mzdeadlyspell]

usually I like younger men...well it just turns out that way..that I date them younger, but by five or six years. I have no age limits, it is just basedon the maturity of the the individual and if I get along with them.

[EvilEve]

i'd like to think that age doesn't matter to me, but the way that things have worked out, it does.

i prefer that the guys i'd date were only a couple of years older than me (no more than 3yrs older), and i've refused to date people my age, or younger than me. i did see someone 11yrs. older than me, but he didn't want anything serious from it, so it only lasted about 3-5 months.

Prophet is 2.5yrs older than me.

my ex before him was 5yrs. older than me. that only lasted a month.

there were a few other people in the mix that i was seeing for a while, but one didn't want anything to do with me after i took him to Ozzfest ('03), and the other gave off this creepy-stalker-psycho vibe. the psycho was my age(17 at the time), the ditcher was 25 and i was 18.

3yrs. older is my cut-off limit. hehe. i say that now, and watch, a couple of years from now, it'll change.

[Head Wreck]

maturity is my downfall tbh.

age does matter in some cases.

just my thoughts. but you sometimes cant help, therers allways exceptions.

i just cant be bothered with any age group right now.

[detroitrequiem]

IM 32 almost 33. Sandee is 22. She is also the most mature incredible girl Ive ever been with. Age doesnt matter as long as their legal of age. Then again, isnt the age of consent in Georgia 14? Wow! Ah lolita........

[DarkChylde]

I believe my age range of females i been with were from 18 to 33, yes I have dated younger and older. But from my experiences at the end its all the same and females turned out totally immature for me, but thats just my luck though. So yeah I have to agree that age dont matter (unless under 18)

[CatsEyeOfTheWiccan]

Well, here is the ages been with at diffrent points in my life. Alot people in socity frown apon a guy going out with an older woman. Vs. Socity think there nothing wrong younger woman going with an older guy. I don't like what soicty thinks of this view point. If you are on the same wave length and muturey. Its all good in my book.

When I was 15 - 16: 16

When I was 17 - 18 : 16

When I was 19: 32

When I was 20: 25, 30, 47

When I was 21 - 22: 46

When I was 23: 38, 31, 30, 45

When I was 24: 45

So, I don't belive age is just number.

Thanks all for my in put in my life.

-CatsEye

[unchaste]

You know, Shawn & I are 2 years apart, and it doesn't make a difference at all. We're on the same level, really.

[Brenda Starrr]

Wayne is 8 years younger than I. I really didn't want to get involved with him because of that. I had upsetting visuals of me being 50, him being 42, going through a midlife crisis. You know, where he buys a Porsche to compensate for the abuse of Viagra and dates strippers.

So far, he still loves me. I still have 10 years to panic.

[Homicidalheathen]

Cats Eye your not the norm. Most younger men I meet are not old souls and are rather immature. My freind won't date anyone under 35 and she is 39. I just think that is kinda silly that she won't give any (not one!) younger man a chance even if it is just for sex.

Most of the guys are older...by like a few years at least.

I think she could at least give one a shot in the bedroom. I get tired of hearing about all of these older guys impotence problems.

[Msterbeau]

I get tired of hearing about all of these older guys impotence problems.

What? Where? :whistling

[kellygrrrrrl]

There should be rules.

I think that if you are BETWEEN the ages of 18 - 50 age should not matter.

But take Anna Nicole for instance.

She was like 25 with an 80 year old. The rules were not followed in this situation.

Or like that situation with the school teacher and the 13 year old. No Rules were followed here.

[Fierce Critter]

Sigh. Wish EZB DGN's posts hadn't all gone bye-bye. I answered this once before, but here goes again.

I'm 10-1/2 years older than Jon. When we met, he was 19, I was 30.

Fast-forward to things becoming serious. Considering we met in February '98 and married in October '98, that wasn't a very long period of time.

All along, my main concerns about being with someone that young were focused more around the age HE was at and about to go through - NOT the number of years between us.

I could recall what an absolute ball of mess my life was in my mid-20's. That was the period in which I went through the most in the way of growing, figuring out who I was, who I wasn't, what did and did not work for my life, etc. It was a period of a lot of growth and changing. A LOT. I got through it, but it took into my early 30's to kinda get fully over the hump of confusion.

I was getting into a relationship with a guy who was just taking the barest baby-steps into that wild period of life. And I told him flat-out that I had no problem being with him, but that I would be anxious when he started going through the same types of things.

And he did. He did a lot of changing in that period of time. He got into some things that weren't good for the relationship. He struggled with his own questions as to what was and wasn't right for him. And I struggled with a need to leave him alone to figure things out for himself so as not to "mold" or control the outcome, knowing the inevitable fallout and disaster that would happen in our relationship if I did.

But he's 27 now, and we've been married 7 years. And he came through that period to find that "we" work just fine for him.

Whew. Sigh of relief.

Does age matter? Yes and no. There's no pat answer. Maturity does, in a way, matter more than actual number. But as one of the "older, wiser" members of the board I have to say that I have BEEN there and I have plenty of friends/acquaintances who have BEEN there and we all agree - in your early 20's, you THINK you know everything - but you don't know SHIT. In particular, about YOURSELF.

You may be some kind of genius. You may have lived on the streets and scraped to get by. Etc. Sure, you may be experienced and knowledgeable about things you learn from a life of hardship or education, etc.

But the thing you still don't know JACK about is YOURSELF. There's just no freaking way you CAN.

And I know there are plenty of 20-somethings reading this and rolling their eyes and thinking, "she thinks she's so smart, I know exactly who/what I am." and I still say "bullshit." But I say it with a smile, 'cause I'm fucking 37 years old and I see it every damned day in almost every single person I know.

Jon, luckily, came through that life period to discover that what/who he is works in a relationship with me. But even he is an incredibly different person than the 19 year old I married. In some ways more open. In some ways more settled.

But to go through that period of time in a committed relationship with someone is, in my experience & observation, very very hard to do successfully. Jon was an exception. There are others.

So, there's my not-so-black-and-white answer to that question.

(And sorry if my bringing up my age once again jolts people - every week at CC someone new learns my age and freaks out thinking I was 26 at most... :grin)

[Homicidalheathen]

YAH maybe we should make being a gold digging clueless hussy illegal! Heh.

I just thought the vid clips of her kissing the guy was disgusting.

Most elderly persons have halitosis. Yuk.

There should be rules.

I think that if you are BETWEEN the ages of 18 - 50 age should not matter. 

But take Anna Nicole for instance. 

She was like 25 with an 80 year old.  The rules were not followed in this situation.

Or like that situation with the school teacher and the 13 year old.  No Rules were followed here.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[kellygrrrrrl]

YAH maybe we should make being a gold digging clueless hussy illegal!  Heh.

I just thought the vid clips of her kissing the guy was disgusting.

Most elderly persons have halitosis.  Yuk.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah no kidding about the footage of them kissing...BLEH!

'

Kind of reminds me of this movie I saw, It was kind of a spoof, and I don't even remember the name if it, but there was this part where this young girl asks this OLD lady (like 70 - 80 years old) if she had ever been kissed....she says no. Tehn the young girl and the old lady start making out and there are strings of saliva and false teeth - oh the horror :doh