Has anyone else here given up on love...

[bav]

loyalty is SO hot.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Confidence is sexy too.

[DJ Nocker]

The only thing more powerful than love is hate. and although it is more powerful it is NOT more important. Hate consumed me a long time ago, dont let it do the same to you. Keep looking, maybe take some alone time in, whatever you do, dont give up. I believe there is a one and only for everyone, some people give up looknig for theres, dont be one of them.

[bav]

The only thing more powerful than love is hate. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Love and hate are opposite sides of the same coin, they are emotional investments into someone/something else. I tend to think that hate is just a lot easier than love because its simply just giving into to selfish desires instead of placing someone else in front of you.

The big question for which is more powerful, tho...is what gives you more growth? Hate locks you into a cycle. Yes, the anger can be a good fuel source for getting things done but it still leads to circular thinking/obsession and you're still giving that someone/something power OVER YOU.

If I can't have a form of love towards something, then I'll take indifference. Just not caring is great for moving on with life.

[torn asunder]

i just wanted to post these lyrics, because they were actually a big help for me when i felt similarly a while back... sorry if it sounds too cliche... :fear

DR. HOOK AND THE MEDICINE SHOW lyrics - "Better Love Next Time"

I'm your friend, you can talk to me

I read your face, I see misery

'Cause the one you love has left you dry

Don't start believing that you're gonna die

Just pick your heart up off the floor

And try, try again

You'll find better love next time, baby

Don't give up and I know you're gonna find

Better love next time, baby

Someone will be waiting down the line

With better love, better love, better love

Better love next time

Sometimes it's better to let it all go

I've been there and I think I should know

So have a good cry, wash out your heart

If you keep it inside it'll tear you apart

Sometimes you lose but you're gonna win

If you just, if you just keep hanging in

You'll find better love next time, baby

Don't give up and I know you're gonna find

Better love next time, baby

Someone will be waiting down the line

With better love, better love

Better love next time, baby

Don't give up and I know you're gonna find

Better love next time, baby

Someone will be waiting down the line

With better love, better love

Better love next time, baby

Don't give up

[JaneDead]

i guess i am fortunate then because i have always been "wired" to love and to be loved. my parents showed me love every single day. and told me. and hugged me and kissed me. and i do it with my kids and they do it with each other and we don't know any other way.

[Hellion]

:devil I have in certain ways because of my finacial situation,and too many dishonest people in society.And being judged poorly because I don't carry a shitload of money in my wallet.just my opinion.

[Steven]

The only thing more powerful than love is hate.  and although it is more powerful it is NOT more important.  Hate consumed me a long time ago, dont let it do the same to you.  Keep looking, maybe take some alone time in, whatever you do, dont give up.  I believe there is a one and only for everyone, some people give up looknig for theres, dont be one of them.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I disagree.

Hate and anger - they come like a wrecking ball, devestatingly powerful. ANd anyone can do it.

But love is like a wave building momentum over time - nothing can stop it, it crashes over and effects everything it touches.

[Steven]

mmmm.....Meta-programming

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Stop it allready.

all it really is is humility.

take stock in yourself, be honest, commit to change.

[Steven]

Confidence is sexy too.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very.

[n0Mad]

mmmm.....Meta-programming

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good ol' NLP. Some good stuff, some crap. The trick is figuring out what's what.

[fever blister]

as a matter of fact as of this vary night i decided to call it quits.

[TygerLili]

I wish I could just inject confidence into a lot of you.

I see so many people either trying way too hard, or not trying at all, because they don't have the confidence to just sit back, be who they are, and let love happen naturally.

I've fallen into both traps, they don't get you anywhere. If you are too afraid to try with someone, you end up safe, but miserable. If you give your all to someone to the point of sacrificing part of who you are because you're afraid to lose them, you end up in a bad relationship and miserable.

If you've had a run of bad relationships, it's rarely a bad idea to step back and get to know and like yourself alone before you try again. One the other had, it's also not a good idea to get into a relationship without thinking how it's going to effect the other person, not just you.

[Homicidalheathen]

Personally, I think your fooling yourself if you think you can avoid the entrapments of love in this world unless your like a yogi or something.

Or end up bitter and lonely.....

Neither something I wish to go through.

I would rather be alone than in a bad relationship...but would take a so-so relationship over none if I thought in the long run it would benefit me spiritually.

I don't know about people who say they have given up on love because to me to do so, is to give up on a part of yourself.

We are not ment to be alone. I don't think anyway...for the most part.

[Shade Everdark]

Here's to bitter and alone!

I'll drink to that (and when I actually drink, I do drink to that!).

[Rayne]

For clarification and seriousness, I think Rayne is one of the best things to happen to Phee.

Awh! Thanks Bav! I'm in tears ... thanks for saying that, it means a lot.

[phee]

I couldn't agree more!!!

[Saephyr]

NEVER GIVE UP ON IT LOVELY... NEVER!

PUT IT ASIDE BUT DON'T FORGET IT ENTIRELY It should be lurking in the shadows for another time dearbut it's always there

[Homicidalheathen]

I am not even worried about love, just don't want to get sqrewed over by so called friends anymore.

[creatureofthenyte]

I kind of agree with HH,

I'm not really worried about love.

Worrying wouldnt help anything.

I have goals set for myself and I am working to make those happen,

and if love happens in the future,

that would be great but if not then there isnt much I can do about it,

so why worry?

[Homicidalheathen]

My ideas on love have changed over the years but I still believe in it

[Medea]

I just submitted a blon on my MySpace about this very subject. Typing all those feelings was very draining for me, so I'll just copy and paste:

I admit it. Twice now have I slept over at Tom's and had dreams of getting back together with him.

Both took place in the apartment, as though they could have real, except that I knew I was dreaming. In the first I was sleeping on the couch in the dream, and he knelt down next to the couch and just put his arms around me and kept repeating, "I'm so sorry, I should have known, it was my mistake, I made a mistake, I love you." It was a week and a half after he broke up with me.

This more recent one happened last weekend when I found out that he and his current girlfriend broke up. And I just simply dreamed that the other guys had left to go do something and he and I were alone and we started kissing and he said "So I guess we're back together" and I agreed.

Now, keep in mind that I'm fully aware that getting back together with Tommy would be nothing but a gigantic mistake. The problems that he and I have apparently just don't go away. The first time it was I who realized that we weren't working, but after a year when he asked to try again, I thought that maybe it could work.

But this time it was he who didn't feel it was right, while I thought that everything was going perfect.

It just hurts to have that feeling of being safe and secure and loved taken away. I miss that feeling so much, I miss falling asleep with the warmth of someone next to me in bed, the feeling of waking up with someone's arms around me. That sense that there is someone in the world that I am connected to, someone that at any given moment may be thinking about me, someone that I can take care of and love.

Tommy was my first real relationship, the first guy who loved me for who I am, hell, the first guy that ever loved me at all, and the first guy to treat me like something other than convenient for the time being.

I still know that if the oppurtunity to get back together occurred, I'd be an idiot to take it up. Yo-yoing, going back and forth like that, it's not healthy. Last time a year had passed, this time it's just... done. There is no going back.

And I'm still convinced that I'm just not going to be finding what I had with Tommy ever again. I just don't believe that it's out there for me any longer. I've mostly given up on the hope of trying to find that person out there that is right for me, and have myself be right for them.

And honestly I'm jealous of Tommy as well. He has this ability to get a girlfriend without any trouble. It's so incredibly rare for me to find anyone that would be actually willing to be my boyfriend, and even rarer for me to actually be interested in that person. I wish I had his ability to just find people that he likes that are actually interested in him. And just generally of the fact that since he's in these relationships, he's happy.

I want to be happy again. I want to be happy like I was when I was with him.

So, yeah, I definitely know how you feel... I keep waffling between being jaded and being impossibly lonely and searching.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

Meh...I havent given up on it...but I wont expect it to happen to me anytime soon...but if it happens it happens, you know?

[jadnifer]

Thought that I was in love before....turns out I wasnt. Still hurts in the end though. I think that I loved him for who I wanted him to be, not for who he was. But like a lot of you have said love sneaks up on you when you arent looking for it

[Draco1958]

Absynth, I can identify with those feelings. Poured my heart into an 11 year marriage just to watch her walk away like it meant nothing. I felt devastated. All her brow beating comments I accepted because I loved her and felt it was something you just dealt with. She walks and I felt like maybe she was right saying all that negative about me. Ended up meeting someone else. Fell hard and she decides to hook up with a married guy she had feelings for, dumped again. Feelings return. So here I am at 48, single, lonely, no dates. So I join this site, figuring I'd meet new people, be accepted for who I am, feel confident and maybe someone would walk into my life again. Almost worked. Don't feel fully accepted, confidence is low, etc etc. I understand to a point what you are feeling as I too have questions about will I meet someone. Sorry if this seems like a threadjack. I just wanted to explain where I was coming from, my experiences, feelings and such to show I also have been thru something and not just throwing my 2 cents in without anything to back it up. Yes I believe love exists, not sure it will ever find me tho. Just don't let the past experiences jade you toward what could happen down the road. Life has a funny way of surprising people. Again I apologize if I messed up this thread.

[Gothmama25]

I'm definately done with love or even just liking a guy cause its too much pain and sadness. I believe that I am cursed or just destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Especially after last weekend I am not dealing with that kind of rejection ever again.