Has anyone else here given up on love...

[BrassFusion]

Anyone ever read "Brave New World" or "1984"? It is possible to have procreation without love. I could raise a child and not love it. Raising a child simply means providing it with basic needs and protection.

A child raised without affection will not turn into a genetically successful adult in our culture.

And if you didn't love the kid, you wouldn't bother raising it.

[celestial]

I dont love school, but i go because i dont want something better out of life. If some had a child they could provide without loving it because letting your kid rot on a corner wouldnt be the right thing to do. Its a matter of respect and owning up to something you created, no love needed.

[BrassFusion]

I dont love school, but i go because i dont want something better out of life. If some had a child they could provide without loving it because letting your kid rot on a corner wouldnt be the right thing to do. Its a matter of respect and owning up to something you created, no love needed.

In which case, the unloved kid will turn out insecure and fucked up and probably become a goth.

Any of you guys who believe a child can be successfully raised without ANY love or affection should do a bit of research. Find out what happens to kids in those controlled environments.

Oh wait. We don't have any environments that are so strictly controlled. Kids have parents who love them, siblings who love them, teachers who love them, neighbors who love them. They thrive on it.

[Onyx]

Nobody has a perfect childhood, however there are extremes on either end.

It was found that many normal, healthy infants in Chinese and Romanian orphanages actually die with no physical problem, simply because they are not picked up and held and talked to. Bottles are propped and the children were left alone to fend for themselves. Some end up with lifelong developmental delays and many never learn to speak. Sadly, it's still happening too.

[Onyx]

Back to the subject of the thread, I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I've pretty much given up on the idea of romantic love I had in my head. I give my heart but I don't get the same in return. It seems I usually end up with someone who is reluctant to give his whole heart to me, and what use is it when someone holds back? It really hurts and I'm really tired of hoping. The fellow I've been seeing is taking contracting jobs in other states so it will be impossible for me to see much of him for some time to come, so I have to face the fact that actions speak louder than words. I've come to the conclusion that I do something to attract this type of relationship, and perhaps it's time to concentrate on other things.

I'm not bhuddist, however some of the ideas about love and energy appeal to me. Love is so much more than romantic love. It can be, but it is also action. You can love someone by holding the door for them if they have their arms full, bringing over a few groceries when you know they are short of cash that week. It doesn't take much to make a small difference. One can be love in action, and that means so much more than words.

and now I've just lost all my goth points in one single post, but fuck it!

[BrassFusion]

Excuse me? My dad HATED my older 1/2 brother when we were growing up. He turned out to be pretty OK. So where is your logic in that?

Your dad was ONE person out of every person your brother encountered.

I lived with a 3 yr old that wasn't my own. I "cared", but did not "love" the child. I still potty-trained him, taught him respect and responsibility, and provided for his NEEDS.

And did the 3-year-old grow up to be a successful adult who bore children of his own? No, not yet? Then you're still missing the point.

Show me anything that proves this. What about all of the children that have/are living in orphanages? They are being "Cared for", but there is no evidence to say they are loved.

BULLCRAP! They love each other, at the very least, and the ones who are so alienated that NO ONE LOVES THEM and they KNOW IT will not grow up to be well-adjusted and will NOT produce successful offspring of their own.

[Steven]

Anyone ever read "Brave New World" or "1984"? It is possible to have procreation without love. I could raise a child and not love it. Raising a child simply means providing it with basic needs and protection.

thats what my parents did with 6 kids. we were all fucked up. seriously.

by the way, that is often what we do now, latchkeying our children, educating them via MTV and Jerry Springer, fortifying them with pharmecuticals, splitting up the family unit, failing to mentor, and all of that fun stuff. But there are lunchables in the pantry, and we've got cable. Fucken A.

[Steven]

I lived with a 3 yr old that wasn't my own. I "cared", but did not "love" the child. I still potty-trained him, taught him respect and responsibility, and provided for his NEEDS.

Show me anything that proves this. What about all of the children that have/are living in orphanages? They are being "Cared for", but there is no evidence to say they are loved.

Ever worked in an Orphanage?

I have. Casa de la Esperanza in Mexico. 3rd world situation all the way, just over the border from San Diego. Used to go there periodically with a group of people I knew. Sometimes we jsut worked our asses off, painting, doing electrical, plumbing, etc. But we always made time for the kids, and they were/are starved for it. When they trun 16 they are often turned out into the street - because the system can no longer support them. I have had them tell me specifically that their only hope has been when groups of people came to see them and interact with them and "love" them. Love. Them.

their words, not mine.

they never said think you for the clothes or the food or teh soccer balls or for patching the roof.

they said thank you for loving me.

if you ever hug on a young child who has no one else to love on them - seriously, with repetition, after you release them and return to your own little world it may haunt you.

It did me. Still does.

[BrassFusion]

Ever worked in an Orphanage?

I have. Casa de la Esperanza in Mexico. 3rd world situation all the way, just over the border from San Diego. Used to go there periodically with a group of people I knew. Sometimes we jsut worked our asses off, painting, doing electrical, plumbing, etc. But we always made time for the kids, and they were/are starved for it. When they trun 16 they are often turned out into the street - because the system can no longer support them. I have had them tell me specifically that their only hope has been when groups of people came to see them and interact with them and "love" them. Love. Them.

their words, not mine.

they never said think you for the clothes or the food or teh soccer balls or for patching the roof.

they said thank you for loving me.

if you ever hug on a young child who has no one else to love on them - seriously, with repetition, after you release them and return to your own little world it may haunt you.

It did me. Still does.

"House of the Waiting?" That just made me tear up a little.

[Steven]

"House of the Waiting?" That just made me tear up a little.

I teared up more than a little hanging out there.

People (myself included) think they are strong, and full of answers.

till they see something real and get their hands dirty in it.

[celestial]

humans dont need love, hey just need someone to talk to. mental stimulation, love can only be aspowerfull as the brain makes it, no more no less, its an illusions!